Becoming an Adult and the influence of other Adults

Richey

Well-known member
#1
One aspect i've noticed about entering the adult world is that alot of adults in fact i'd say most adults i've come across tend to adopt these old-people rigid mindsets. like i recall people saying to me don't be so childish if i decided to sing or be silly when i was around 18/19. i've also been brought up and told to be careful everytime i go somewhere. i was also taught not to place your elbows to close to the plate while eating dinner etc. this really comes down to teachers, parents and relatives that have been mentors to me over the years.

i just feel that i've been brought up around unspontanious adults that were never able to show or teach me that fun and a sense of humour is what life is about, so i feel that i'm trying to unwind that now by being my own person and following my own map but there is alot of conditioning and influences i have to try and block out of my head to move forwards with changing myself for the better.

its like my uncle is mature and sub consciounsly knows to act that way but he's always joking about everything and its just a pleasure to be around someone so positive, i feel that growing up i lived around negative, condescending, arrogant, unhelpful adults. that maybe a little harsh because i definitely learned helpful life skills from them just not always in the relationships sense.
 

Walk

Well-known member
#2
I agree that being fun and kind of silly should never be looked down upon. The main difference is that a child doesn't know when to be serious and when to play around. An real adult knows when to be serious and when not to, that's all.

I think the hardest times in an adult's life is when he's about 18-21 because even though legally he or she is an adult, few are treated as actual adults by older people. You are treated with condescending words and body language, told you're still "a baby", and a lot of other stupid bullshit.

I'm 24, and if an 18 year old wants to say something s/he thinks is important but is clearly naive, I'd simply point out why I think his or her views are flawed without using harsh words such as "you're just a kid, you don't know what's up".

Sometimes, people can just suck. If you're told not to sing or be silly by an adult, and they're not in a position of authority, just tell them that that's how you are. **** them.
 
#3
I know how you feel, it really sucks to find out the person you want to be and the person you were raised to be are miles apart. But we can change! Best just to forgive our parents and move on. And do a MUCH better job raising our kids. ;)
 
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