Avoidant Personality and Trust

[Silentknight]

I was curious as to what other people with AvPD consider what trust is? You see today I thought about the one person I have ever told my problems too from my aboidance of people too something as personal as my self harming. I thought me opening up to her must mean I trust her but then I started thinking that the only time I have ever been open about myself has been over the phone and every time we have ever been around each other I have been just as distant and avoidant to her as I have been to anyone else. As I thought of this I wondered do I really trust her or just the voice over the phone? Has anyone else ever felt this way with another person?

 

[Hellhound]

I don't know if it's a trust issue. If you didn't trust her, you wouldn't be open, not even on the phone... right? Maybe you feel more comfortable, less anxious talking on the phone than face to face.

I have a similar problem. I can be open around my friends, but online only. If i had to be around them in person, I'd be as silent as a rock, and maybe not even look at them. But that's more a SA thing rather than not trusting them. I do trust them, i just have zero social skills and I'm nervous in social situations.

 

[DarkSeeker]

I was curious as to what other people with AvPD consider what trust is?

Trust is guessing that something will happen or that someone will do something.

It sounds like you trust that something bad will happen if you open yourself up. I do too and not without any good reason. I wouldn't do this in one shot, maybe revealing a glimpse of yourself or showing interest in her person may help you break the ice. It's real hard to do this in real life situation though, but you'll get nothing for sure if you don't try.

 

[TooShyShy]

How are you with the opposite sex??? A girl you are attracted to..do you avoid, is there trust issues there as well?

 

[k123dave]

Trust is a very personal thing. It's hard to start and easy to stop.
It takes steps; first typing, the talking and then meeting (if online friendship). You have to look into your heart, your thoughts and analyse them. It's easy to jump the gun with a member of the opposite sex, sometimes, and you just have to take baby steps slowly, discussing new and deeper conversations at the rate that you both feel comfortable with.
Sometimes you have to take a 'leap of faith' in moving on with the friendship and that is the toughest thing to do; there's no easy guide for how to deal with it when it goes awry, but a good friendship should always be able to fall back and still fell comfortable with each other.