Attempting to turn my life around for the better

Bomazu

Bomazu

Member
I'm a 29 year old guy living in the sunny old Kent. I'm a bright, considerate, nice guy who's been seriously held back in life by bouts of depression and social anxiety.
I've read a lot of stories on this forum and can totally relate. I often feel totally consumed by negative thoughts and I'm determined to turn that around and work towards developing positive thinking habits. I appreciate that's easier said than done, but have at times experienced short-lived positive thoughts, so at least know it is possible to feel good! I realize I desperately need to develop a strategy and physical habits to change my mind set.

At this moment in time I'm very isolated; jobless and have been for most of my life and without a parter or friends I can call on. My ambition is to eventually be successful in my work life and relationships and realize this process will take years of effort. One big thing I realize I need is social contact- people to talk to discuss problems but also want to work towards solutions.
I've always thought it would be great to meet up with similar people who are fed up with living a depressing life and being stuck in a rut and want to work on turning things around. If there's anyone here who'd like to hook up, potentially develop a friendship and give each other support to achieving success in our lives or can suggest groups I could join to find like-minded people that would be really appreciated.

Thanks for reading :)
 
Bomazu

Bomazu

Member
I wanted to say thank you for the replies. I really appreciate it.

I understand relationships with people take time to develop. I hope my post might act as an initial ice breaker for anyone in a similar situation who feels they'd like to share support to reach success in life

I will admit I've got a lot to work on to even bring my life up to par with most regular folk, and once I do I then have ambition to go beyond my typical limits and become assertive, happy and in control of my life on a daily basis. One step at a time, but why not aim high?
 
B

bsammy

Well-known member
im in a similar situation.have had depression and anxiety for years,, now im trying to get out of it but i dont even know wherr to start and what i really want to accomplish.its very confusing..
 
Bomazu

Bomazu

Member
I'm sure many people have already read lots of self help and personal development books before, but if not they are a really good starting point for anyone wanting to make changes in their lives. I've read at least a dozen books on these kinds of topics and it seems that a basic formula for change and success is:

Understanding:
Figure out who you are as a person and what it is you feel you'd like to change about your life.

Goals:
Set short, medium and long term goals. Know where you want to be and get into the habit of focusing on where you want to be in a positive, passionate way

Take action:
Probably the most important, but also the hardest step is to actually do something. There's obviously a lot of habits and thoughts which hold people back, but one must find the strength to push past this. Think "would taking this action kill me?" if not, then do it, because not doing anything is killing a part of you inside.

Dont Give up:
Every day should be working towards a goal. Keep taking small steps to improve all the time and don't slip back into your previous ways even if you start feeling uncomfortable or things don't work out the first/second/third time. Think of every failure like a brick in your palace :) Know that turning things around can take years depending on where you are in your life at the moment.

Lastly, Reassess:
Every week/ fortnight/ month evaluate your progress and correct your course and goals if needs be. Be proud of what you've achieved so far :)
 
totoro

totoro

Well-known member
Welcome Bomazu!

I, too, have reached the point where I am attempting to turn my life around. It took a devastating life event for me to come to this realisation but I am here nonetheless.

My negative thoughts have been so destructive and it saddens me to think of all of those lost years which I can never get back. But I have plenty of years ahead (hopefully!) as I am in my early twenties so there is still much to gain from life.

It is good you are taking action now rather than continuing through life with no goals or direction. and thank you for those tips in your above post :) Are there any particular self help books you would recommend?
 
Bomazu

Bomazu

Member
Thanks totoro. Yeah, I think sometimes it takes a lot of crap to finally get enough leverage to want to change one's situation.

My favourite book at the moment is "Awaken the Giant within" by Anthony Robins. I'd particularly recommend the audio version of the book as he's such a passionate guy and that passion can be really infectious to hear rather than just read his advice.
 
M

mudslides

New member
I'm in the same place you are. Im 26, unemployed and have been for a llloooong time, and just now trying to get my life into some kind of shape. I seem to lose motivation though and slink back into my hole.
 
Dinosaur

Dinosaur

Well-known member
Good on all of you for making a positive step towards a better future
I had a moment like that about 7 years ago and even tho i'm still not in a perfect place my life has changed SOOOOO much for the better now
Good luck to you all and stick with it thru the hard times :)
 
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laure15

Well-known member
Welcome Bomazu! I also want to turn my life around. I used to be stuck in a horrible situation that I couldn't get out of, but now that I'm out of it, I want to give life another try. I used to read a lot of self help books, but everytime when I want to do something to become more assertive, I freeze as if something is holding me back, preventing me from moving forward. I also don't have confidence in the people around me. I feel as if everywhere I go, there are people who will hate me to the bone.
 
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