Social-E-Aukward
Well-known member
I feel most lonely at parties and other social events because when I see others interacting I realize how different I really am. I have different thoughts and opinions from most people. Most people tend to see the way I am as be just being an uptight jerk, so the only way I can "fit in" or "get along" with people is by faking myself, which I hate myself for.
The last couple years, I've isolated myself from social situations almost all the time because I don't want to compromise myself for others, and I don't want to keep surrounding myself in situations where I am isolated. It's easier for me to just isolate myself from a distance and try to find people who think like me, but they are very few and far between.
At present I feel very lonely. My girlfriend left me because I yelled at her a lot. She find it hard to trust me and is afraid that I fake being so morally-obsessed. She feels like my views are to extreme to be real and my awkwardness in social situations makes her very uncomfortable.
I've been trying to make friends, but I keep running into things i don't agree with and can't make myself okay with. I wish there was some way i could stop being so judgmental and bitter towards the human race... but my big problem is that when I try not to be so angry for all the bad things people do, I just end up feeling like I am part of the problem because I'm not fighting it.
It's very depressing at times, but at least, thanks to therapy, I no longer want to take myself out. I know I'm valuable, just like every human being is. Even though I differ from everyone else in some way or another, there are ways I do fit in... I'm human after all...
It's my hope that as I keep trying to forgive other people for their mistakes and for being selfish... maybe someone will recognize that I am valuable in my own way. Maybe they will try to forgive me for my selfishness and my mistakes too.
The last couple years, I've isolated myself from social situations almost all the time because I don't want to compromise myself for others, and I don't want to keep surrounding myself in situations where I am isolated. It's easier for me to just isolate myself from a distance and try to find people who think like me, but they are very few and far between.
At present I feel very lonely. My girlfriend left me because I yelled at her a lot. She find it hard to trust me and is afraid that I fake being so morally-obsessed. She feels like my views are to extreme to be real and my awkwardness in social situations makes her very uncomfortable.
I've been trying to make friends, but I keep running into things i don't agree with and can't make myself okay with. I wish there was some way i could stop being so judgmental and bitter towards the human race... but my big problem is that when I try not to be so angry for all the bad things people do, I just end up feeling like I am part of the problem because I'm not fighting it.
It's very depressing at times, but at least, thanks to therapy, I no longer want to take myself out. I know I'm valuable, just like every human being is. Even though I differ from everyone else in some way or another, there are ways I do fit in... I'm human after all...
It's my hope that as I keep trying to forgive other people for their mistakes and for being selfish... maybe someone will recognize that I am valuable in my own way. Maybe they will try to forgive me for my selfishness and my mistakes too.
