are you able to actually enjoy life?

I could be,if I had my preferred choice snuggling upside me.
I could be without also but that's not where I want to be anymore,emotionally or financially because I'm kind of tired feeling happy on my own.
sometimes I see a cat and I think "you're so lucky,you're so goddamn lucky ,someone loves you and you'll be going home to them soon"
Or I'll see a dog and think "you're so lucky,so goddamn lucky,you're with the one you love and they're buying you all your food"
At times like those it's hard to think to see the world in positive terms ,marked positive terms,like a monetary outlay.
Not that I would want to be trapped on a boat with other people for a prolonged period of time,whether they be known to me or not.
They say that out at sea,far out,the only sure new arrival is fish.No one is going to pop in unexpectedly and break up the domestic tension.
Pop that proverbial bubble.
At times I can if I want,kid myself that my lonely status is down to random chance,instead of it being the real reason,my teatotal unemployed toilers personality.Well I've had to bear the brunt of that one on more than a few occasions,no word of a lie.
"Enjoy",that's a strange word to use for anything,a big word too,one of the biggest,and one of the biggest to apply to any descriptive meta context you could think off.
It's not at all like "medium" which could be retailored for this syntax- mutative age into the barely non-hystericalist term "gargantuatiny" .
"Enjoy"."Enjoy" your medium enjoyment.
 

bsammy

Well-known member
^thats the thing though, im not lonely, very rarely get lonely.simple companionship doesnt help me enjoy life any more.
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
I enjoy life just so long as I live it through a fantasy. When the real world forces me to recognize just how **** my situation is, however, it's pretty miserable.
 

bsammy

Well-known member
fountainfairfax-uggh yes that is true and painful for me to realize.im only 'content' when im lost on a run or playing a videogame.when i have to venture out into the real world i realize how non-existent my life really is.ill be honest i realize how much im not living when im forced around others.creates a bad loop though.
 
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