Are there any other Social anxiety havers who force themselves outside all the time?

[Marund]

If you do what problems do you run into putting yourself outside?

I'm not afraid of crowds. I can go to clubs, i can go to watch movies with people, etc but i always feel like I'm alone and on the outside anyways. Also I'm constantly overanalyzing what im doing. So i become a little more withdrawn than most anyways.


Has anyone experienced this besides me?

I don't know how to connect with others around me sometimes; and when i do i always put myself down for how i did it.

Like just now i was watching a movie with some friends, but left right after it was over. Do you think that was rude?

I have no idea because i kind of push these thoughts out of my mind usually, though i really WANT to face my blind spots... god its a pain to do.


Please discuss the problems you have pushing yourself outside. Do you find the conversations people have boring?

I KNOW its about avoiding deep conversations, and its about staying casual. But i just get so Boooored listening to what most people are enthusiastically talking about. Siigh.

Is it because i just don't belong in this world ? I try to watch as many movies, and have as many opinions on popular culture as i can but still feel out of the loop sometimes. Discuss going outside but feeling far away from people anyways.

 

[Phoenixx]

I usually tend to avoid crowds if I'm going out alone. Of course I sometimes force myself to do these things, just to push myself out of that "comfort zone". Sometimes I overanalyze what I'm doing too, especially when I'm anxious. Like, if I'm alone in public with crowds, I am constantly thinking of what I'm doing and how I'm doing it (Such as walking somewhere).

When it comes to conversing with random people, it's not so much I find their conversation boring as I just have a hard time focusing. Sometimes I just get so anxious, I end up just focusing on myself and my anxiety rather than the person talking to me and their conversation.

 

[Marund]

I usually tend to avoid crowds if I'm going out alone. Of course I sometimes force myself to do these things, just to push myself out of that "comfort zone". Sometimes I overanalyze what I'm doing too, especially when I'm anxious. Like, if I'm alone in public with crowds, I am constantly thinking of what I'm doing and how I'm doing it (Such as walking somewhere).

When it comes to conversing with random people, it's not so much I find their conversation boring as I just have a hard time focusing. Sometimes I just get so anxious, I end up just focusing on myself and my anxiety rather than the person talking to me and their conversation.

I think the more you put yourself out there the easier it gets, its gotten easier for me but I'm avoidant of getting close to people ~ so its like i sit there and look busy or sit quietly, knowing im a wierdo of sorts. Making progress is what you get by on.

If you don't get bored by people's conversations i bet it could be sooo much easier than you realize; give it a try. Or just make ONE superfriend to go out with you; it makes somewhat fun.

 

[Marund]

Sorry if im preaching, I always assume people on here want advice. If you dont want to go out its cool as long as your happy.

 

[RhoadsLynch]

I feel like that a lot Marund. I can function socially in certain settings, but if I do not know anyone or go somewhere unfamiliar? Not good lol. What you said about watching a movie with friends and leaving is something I have done. I felt remorse about doing it but I needed to get out and go home. I get some heavy bouts of agoraphobia and feel much better when I am home.....alone.
I do however like deep conversations and not the usual trivial banter. I often feel like people just "act" how they think they should as opposed being who they really are. I do know that people that suffer from these types of feelings or disorders are above average intelligence. That could explain our boredom with these types of situations. Like many of you, were are not being elitist or snobbish. But rather yearning for meaningful conversation other than the usual "wow, we're gonna get wasted tonight", or "I am gonna sleep with as many people as possible".

Your talking to someone who went to a concert with 80,000 people and felt alone. I feel your pain and share many of the same thoughts and feelings you do. I wish you nothing but best in terms of finding some answers. I have more questions than answers myself.

 

[Marund]

I feel like that a lot Marund. I can function socially in certain settings, but if I do not know anyone or go somewhere unfamiliar? Not good lol. What you said about watching a movie with friends and leaving is something I have done. I felt remorse about doing it but I needed to get out and go home. I get some heavy bouts of agoraphobia and feel much better when I am home.....alone.
I do however like deep conversations and not the usual trivial banter. I often feel like people just "act" how they think they should as opposed being who they really are. I do know that people that suffer from these types of feelings or disorders are above average intelligence. That could explain our boredom with these types of situations. Like many of you, were are not being elitist or snobbish. But rather yearning for meaningful conversation other than the usual "wow, we're gonna get wasted tonight", or "I am gonna sleep with as many people as possible".

Your talking to someone who went to a concert with 80,000 people and felt alone. I feel your pain and share many of the same thoughts and feelings you do. I wish you nothing but best in terms of finding some answers. I have more questions than answers myself.

If we all wore buttons when we went outside we could identify each other. We could have a secret club and it would be cool.

edit: now if only there was a forum we could talk on

 

[dottie]

yes, murand, i relate very much. i push myself to get out and do things but i am still alone when i get there. i can manage a little small talk but there is this weird barrier... like a barrier of mistrust i don't know how to overcome. also when you said you want to face your blind spots... so do i but i often cannot figure out what exactly my blind spots are because, well, i am blind to them! at least that is the case when i am in a social situation. you aren't so aware of subtle things you should improve upon when you are panicking just to stay afloat. everything is much more clear in hindsight, or even foresight, any perspective except when i am actually drowning in anxiety.

you are right about conversation. there is a loooooot of boring conversation. in these situations i just don't have anything to chime in and stay pretty much mute which makes me instantly unlikable/unfriendly. i'm not trying to be rude, although it is often percieved that way, i am just stepping aside. but sometimes the subject matter is interesting. then i question if i am versed enough to have a valid say on the subject at hand. that depends on the subject matter and my comfort level in that company. so regardless if the conversation is boring or interesting i find myself reserved.

i believe the real issue is that i want to relate to people on an authentic level without offending or making an ass of myself. boredom is just an obstacle or deterrent.

but yeah, i don't know how to break the barrier.

 

[Phoenixx]

I think the more you put yourself out there the easier it gets, its gotten easier for me but I'm avoidant of getting close to people ~ so its like i sit there and look busy or sit quietly, knowing im a wierdo of sorts. Making progress is what you get by on.

If you don't get bored by people's conversations i bet it could be sooo much easier than you realize; give it a try. Or just make ONE superfriend to go out with you; it makes somewhat fun.

Sorry if im preaching, I always assume people on here want advice. If you dont want to go out its cool as long as your happy.

^ No it's okay I appreciate the advice! And yeah, I've been trying to put myself out there more. I'm not making huge progress, but the little baby steps are a start.