approaching girls solely to seduce

[no1]

People over here use the term "holla", and I don't know what that means. In urbanditionary.com it says

1.)a term used to try and talk or try an "hook-up" with a female.

My question is, how can you do this with a female that you don't even know in the first place? What am I supposed to do just go randomly up to some random good looking girl, and randomly try to seduce her? To go and and talk to them just to seduce them?

The way I always thought relationships occured were through friendships, associations or whatnot, and then a relationships build up from there. But lately women these days don't even want to deal with anyone from "work" or "school" or anything that would normally situate me together with a female for a common interest, other than to "get me some puzzy".

I just don't understand it, and girls REJECT guys who don't do this. Why so? Is it commonly understood that it is how the "game" is supposed to be played, or as if it was supposed to be instinctual? Well sure it's a damn good way to weed out the "uncool and cool" people as well as the "girly men who can't approach a female solely for the purpose of getting laid" as the other "alpha" males who can supposedly do that.

I don't approach women like that. I usually wait to be situated with a girl first, to have a good reason to communicate, etc. and if she likes me she likes me, hell you know what, I don't even think of a good reason to talk to a girl as being "because I like them". So if I like a girl, and want to talk to her again, I think "so what? that's not important. you cant just talk to someone because you like them or the way they look. that's not a good reason".


blah..

maybe more later.

 

[no1]

and of course expresses sexual interest can always be considered "harassment" by any female who doesn't like the guy who's showing it. but of course girls don't like guys who don't come on strong, and most of them actually want to be persistently bothered by guys who just want to get in their pants.

 

[Satine]

My question is, how can you do this with a female that you don't even know in the first place? What am I supposed to do just go randomly up to some random good looking girl, and randomly try to seduce her? To go and and talk to them just to seduce them?

It makes sense, as you suggest, to try to seduce a girl you have known for a while as a friend. After all, why would you seduce anybody if you didn't know them? If you don't know the person, how do you decide you want to be that close to them?

It sounds like 'hollaring' is another word for flirting. There's nothing wrong with flirting, in fact, that can be good fun.

lately women these days don't even want to deal with anyone from "work" or "school" or anything that would normally situate me together with a female for a common interest, other than to "get me some puzzy".

I think you're generalising there. Remember that not all women are the same (neither are all men), so to group us like that is bound to fail. There is such a tenet as not dating anyone you have to work with because, if it goes wrong, you still have to see that person every day. So maybe that's why they're staying clear.

I just don't understand it, and girls REJECT guys who don't do this.
Why so?

I don't like being taken advantage, of, but if I were single and wanted to have sex without the emotional side of a relationship then I might accept a 'holla'. But I also like the warmth of a full relationship and many other girls do, so to say that we all just want emotionless sex is a bigoted statement.

Is it commonly understood that it is how the "game" is supposed to be played, or as if it was supposed to be instinctual? Well sure it's a damn good way to weed out the "uncool and cool" people as well as the "girly men who can't approach a female solely for the purpose of getting laid" as the other "alpha" males who can supposedly do that.

Try approaching the girls who don't always seem to be trying to get themselves laid. They are about.

I don't approach women like that. I usually wait to be situated with a girl first, to have a good reason to communicate, etc. and if she likes me she likes me, hell you know what, I don't even think of a good reason to talk to a girl as being "because I like them". So if I like a girl, and want to talk to her again, I think "so what? that's not important. you cant just talk to someone because you like them or the way they look. that's not a good reason".

If you like their character, why not? One person can talk to another for other reasons than for sex. I do so quite often - just to test for new friendships. Why not just let it be that?

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Lucky for you a bonaifide girl responded =) I agree with her, you're making many generalities. In fact, it's all that. Or else say FOR YOU this appears to be the case, not in general =) You're also mixing 2 separate things: going up and talking to girls to seduce them for sex, and getting a relationship or going out. Allude to the latter anyways.

The other year I was working and I had a thing for a coworker. We became more friendly and flirted; I could tell she liked me. I was being more natural (still kicking myself for lacking some conversational skills) but was getting better. Anyways, there came the point where the clues were obvious, and I needed to ask her out already. I won't go into the specific moment but I didn't. And by the end (she left a month later) it was so clear I missed my chance. NOW - this wasn't for "sex"... but it happened quickly. And was at work, so that debunks that part. I just failed miserably =) Oh and there was a 2nd chick at work I "seduced" right away... won't get inot that =) (yes, nothing happened there either... my fault once again) But I'm not sure where you are, but yeah you can have this stuff happen in the workplace.

It was all built up - you just can't say it'll happen everywhere and so also can't say it doesn't happen these days.

Also, you don't want to go up randomly and try and "seduce" without knowing what you're doing. Or your pores may be clogged by some Manhattan =D

 

[no1]

Lucky for you a bonaifide girl responded =) I agree with her, you're making many generalities. In fact, it's all that. Or else say FOR YOU this appears to be the case, not in general =) You're also mixing 2 separate things: going up and talking to girls to seduce them for sex, and getting a relationship or going out. Allude to the latter anyways.

The other year I was working and I had a thing for a coworker. We became more friendly and flirted; I could tell she liked me. I was being more natural (still kicking myself for lacking some conversational skills) but was getting better. Anyways, there came the point where the clues were obvious, and I needed to ask her out already. I won't go into the specific moment but I didn't. And by the end (she left a month later) it was so clear I missed my chance. NOW - this wasn't for "sex"... but it happened quickly. And was at work, so that debunks that part. I just failed miserably =) Oh and there was a 2nd chick at work I "seduced" right away... won't get inot that =) (yes, nothing happened there either... my fault once again) But I'm not sure where you are, but yeah you can have this stuff happen in the workplace.

It was all built up - you just can't say it'll happen everywhere and so also can't say it doesn't happen these days.

Also, you don't want to go up randomly and try and "seduce" without knowing what you're doing. Or your pores may be clogged by some Manhattan =D

I guess Im talking about 2 seperate things because as I was growing up I never would seperate sex and relationships. I would never just look for sex. For me if I wanted sex, I wanted a relationship. If I wanted a relationship, I wanted sex. lol that sounds weird. I needed to look for a relationship first.

Also, like you said that it was easy for you to seduce a girl because you worked with her. I guess I MAY be the same way, but only because I am already situated with the girl and I have to talk with her. But if Im just somewhere alone by myself, or with friends... and I spot a good looking (and seems good) girl... depending on the situation I would most likely find it hard to just approach her. Especially if she is distanced enough away from me... even if she was close to me. Unless I had to comment about something etc. Like I said before, I like things to seem as casual as possible, that means small talk. Not no "hey girl you look good enough to eat" or "hey girl we should 'shag' sometime" or something haha. Sorry. very sorry. Anyway but yeah I don't even comment on looks until I have talked to the person for some time I guess. I guess a lot of people learn these things at parties or hangouts or clubs (especially if they have to ask some random girl who they dont know to dance or something IF they even dance lol).