Anyone on disablility?

[noelliesmommy]

I have several conditions, ocd, add, depression, anxiety, ticks. Luckily my husband is able to work and pay the bills. I am very lucky in the way that I do not have to work because I don't think that at my level of functioning I would be able to mentally hold down a job. I worked through college before my condition worsened and I was so insecure and self critical thinking that bosses and co/workers disliked me or thought that I was a slacker that it was very hard. I also would get suspecious that they were talking about me behind my back. Too much internalization can cause such havick in the brain that it begins to warp reality. Just interested if anyone else struggles holding down a job or is able to get disability for their ocd.

 

[Fitchy]

I am and do.. I had to jump through hoops and also have PTSD but I get an insignificant amount of money a month, and free medical and prescriptions.

 

[theslowesthand]

Yep, i get "disability". I was on "sickness benefit" for several years, until i told my doctor that i think i should be on sickness, as i was never getting any better, year in year out, yet had to fill in elligibility forms every 6 months (about whether i was fit for work). And the extra bonus not long after this, was that the government dept realised that i should have been on sickess a few years before - so i got a BIG lump-sum payout!!! (a few $1000's; of which of have basically "maintained" in my bank acounts).
I know i cant handle wrok, as it began to send me downwards into major stress & depression, causing me to for instance to drink while driving to work (& arriving "sozzled"), get really bored at work, verbally attack people at work, etc. Maybe i might have gotten over most of that now, i dont know, but i'm in a kind of "habitual lifestyle" now of not working (for over 10 years), which could be very difficult to overcome.

 

[kilojoule]

Yes-for an immune disease. I am desperate to go back. The longer out the harder it gets to go back. It is so stressful trying to make ends meet, obsessing over which bills to pay on time. Its disempowering -theres nothing to be done to resolve the problem. All the worries and stresses remain they are just a differenr variety. Its no longer heart in my mouth over a meeting, its heart in my mouth over whether or not I can manage to keep a roof over my head. I preferred the anxiety and stress I had while working because I had some control through CBT whereas now no amount of CBT is going to pay my bills. Its very hard to juggle, I hate being home, I want to get out there and do something. Alas I am not allowed to work until my immune problem resolves.

 

[noelliesmommy]

Thanks for sharing everyone. Nobody should ever be ashamed of not being able to work. I know that there are so many ignorant people out there that judge situations like this but those of us who suffer with this illness understand how impossible just "being" sometimes is! My brother has add, ocd, depression, anxiety and has a hard time working. He gets paid very little. He has a family of four to feed and I worry so much about him. He is on medicaid and gov assistance because he makes so little yet has a college degree and wonderful intellegence. It all can be so disabiling.

 

[theslowesthand]

and has a wonderful intellegence. It all can be so disabiling.

A "wonderful intellegence" is like a double-edged sword

 

[Waybuloo]

I am not on disability. I have worked in the past but cannot hold a job down for long because of my problems. I think I'm stuck in the middle because i'm not so bad that I can qualify for disability payments or sickness benefit but i'm not well enough to function properly.

 

[kilojoule]

I'm thinking about trying to find a way to to go back part -time or at least go study part-time. My doctors are very against it, I get tired out very easily and that coupled with stress and anxiety triggers my immune disease into over drive and lands me back in the hospital...it's a really frustrating position. I so badly want to live my life and try and get on with achieving my goals. I'm nearly 27 and there's so much I want to do. I am determined to find a way around it. Yet I find myself in this loop time and time again. Do more-> stress more->hospital->can't do anything->do more->stress more->hospital

And yet being home doesn't help me with my problems. For me I need to face them and tackle them and the only way I ever get any better with my issues is by facing them up....yet doing that can make me very sick.

I hope to try and find a balance that I can manage, certainly being off work is not a solution for me, I don't find it fulfilling or restful. I only stress about my bills and about how my life is passing me by.