Anyone heard the song First Date by Blink 182?

Iseesky

Well-known member
It basically describes how I'm feeling right now to a T...

In the car I just can't wait
to pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm too scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can't eat

When you smile, I melt inside
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I'm jealous of everybody in the room
Please don't look at me with those eyes
Please don't hint that you're capable of lies
I dread the thought of our very first kiss
A target that i'm probably gonna miss

...Yeah. I'm going on my 'first date' tonight. I made a post...yesterday? about the guy being my longtime crush and talking to him on the bus. He texted me yesterday asking if I wanted to go see 2012 at the theatre. I said yes, relieved that the first date would be a movie date. The perfect date for a socially anxious person! :D

I was fine yesterday. Excited...Now this morning I'm terrified! I have no idea what time we're going. I'm hoping we'll go later in the evening so I have time to calm myself down a bit. I don't know if he's picking me up, or if we're meeting at the theatre. As expected, I feel sick to my stomach right now. I have chills, I'm shaking. I feel like throwing up. This would be the point where I would text him saying that I don't feel good, and that I couldn't go. BUT, I'm not doing that. I have to get my first date over with. The more I go on, the more comfortable it'll be. But, until then, I'm going to be a nervous wreck! As you all know, it's not as easy as saying 'don't be nervous!' I need tips on how to calm myself down prior to and during the date. Because, if I'm anxious on the date, I'm likely going to make a fool out of myself somehow. Whether it be running to the bathroom to throw up, or just calling someone to pick me up. For those of you who have been on dates/a date, what do you do to keep your normal level of sanity? How do you keep your thinking positive.

I can't really say what I'm worried about. I'm confident in my looks, he's a big talker, so I'm not worried about awkward silences. To be honest, I think I might just be scared of being really anxious on the date and throwing up in front of him! ::(: Help!
 

agoraphobickatie

Well-known member
awww i have that exact same fear about EVERWHERE i go! haha

i love this quote: "whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right." - henry ford
try your damndest to KNOW that your anxiousness/bad feelings aren't logical, KNOW that you can do this, the only thing stopping you is anxiety, and it's not even logical.... it's a vicious cycle for me - i worry i'll be sick, i get anxiety, anxiety makes me feel sick, then since i FEEL sick, it convinces me more that i will be sick... i try to go through it and say to myself 'okay no.. i only feel sick because i THINK i'll be sick.. i don't feel sick because i really am...', you have to figure out that the way you feel is ALL stemmed from your head, not from anything that's truly wrong... know what i mean? i'm not explaining this very good =/ haha..
if you have to, go through the motions in your head.. if you're in the theater and you feel sick, you most likely WON'T be sick, but if you want - you could always just say you gotta pee, he has NO idea what you're doing in the bathroom.. and you probably won't just puke out of nowhere, how many times have you thrown up without feeling truly nauseous first? you could always have time to get to a bathroom.. but you won't have to anyway! because you only feel sick because of your anxiety, not because you really are! :) ..maybe try to sit up front, sit on the outside so you can get out easily if need be... i run these things through my head not because i think i'll need to do them, but just because it'll ease my mind to know i have a good escape if i need it, haha :)
another thing i notice is that the WORST i feel, is BEFORE when i'm not even doing anything yet... just know that this anxiousness will be the worst, and you can coast from here.. once you're in the situation, accept the way you feel, know that you really aren't sick, and cloud your head with other things - the way he looks, smells, the movie, people around you, etc.... i've had to get out and go somewhere in public everyday, and it never fails that i feel terrible, i get where i'm going, go in, freak a little, and then i calm down and it DOES get better.. anxiety/panic is not forever, it WILL end at some point, it can't keep ya down all night! don't let it!
one of my first 'dates' (really just hanging out) with one of my exs, i totally had a panic attack in some store and freaked, i just came out and told him "man, i feel like shit..." haha, he was such a sweetheart about it, i hadn't told him i had any panic attack/anxiety issues at all.. all he wanted was for me to feel better, i just told him i felt anxious and i needed him to get my mind off it, he started talking and joking around with me making me smile and within a few minutes i felt fine... you'll be just fine! if you have to, just tell him, "i'm actually kinda nervous! ::eek:: you'll have to keep me occupied" or something and just try to think about things he's talking about, things going on around you.. everyone gets nervous at times, that's for sure! even more mature/experienced people.. it's just fact! i'm sure he'll be great about it if you end up telling him how ya feel
i feel like i have so much more to say! but i don't even know how to put it all! :) you CAN go out and have fun! best wishes to you!! sorry this was just a really long jumble of words!! haha
 
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Iseesky

Well-known member
Giiirl...You are awesome! You explain things in a perfect way that I can understand them. You're right...I'm not actually sick. I just think I am. Gotta keep my mind occupied with something else. Thanks!
 

agoraphobickatie

Well-known member
aw yay! :) lol good!
just know that your negative thoughts really DO cause you to feel yucky, if you can replace them with positive thoughts, you'll be much better for it! tell yourself you'll be fine, you can do it, you'll push through it and know that it'll get better.. even if you don't believe it, just think positive! much better for ya than worrying!! hope you have a good time! and that movie should do a good job of keeping your attention, anyway! :)
 

Iseesky

Well-known member
It didn't go so well. :( Thanks to your's and some of the other peoples' nice comments I was feeling great about it and I was hardly nervous a few minutes before he came to pick me up. The car ride to the theatre was fine...Talked about random subjects. We got there, he held out his hand and I took it. It was nice...A normal thing to do on a date, I suppose. I didn't mind it. We go to buy the tickets to find that the one we wanted was sold out. We look for others playing, but most don't start for another hour or so. He suggests we go to his house to watch a movie instead. I anxiously agree. In the car to his house he holds my hand again. Stroking it this time, which weirded me out a little. We sat on a couch in the basement while the movie's playing. He has his arm around me while his hand prods my arm. The entire time I couldn't stop thinking about how uncomfortable it was. I showed no interest, but he didn't seem to mind. He kissed me, I pushed him away. For the amount of time I've been talking to him, I feel like it was too much. It just didn't feel right. I pretended I was tired (which I was/am) and he offered to take me home. I thought it'd be more casual. A friendly sort of thing. I could tell he wasn't watching or thinking about the movie at all. Bummer. =/ Definitely not something to get anxious/excited about. But, I'm just glad that I went through with it and can say I've been on my first 'date. '
 

Why

Well-known member
that sucks :/

hes like the opposite of me, i take things supppppppppper slow
 

agoraphobickatie

Well-known member
aw girl =/ i know it didn't seem to go picture perfect, but the important thing is that you DID it... you didn't freak or puke! you were the one turning him down anyway, lol.. you should be very proud of yourself!! dating/relationships don't always work out, it's trial and error, you have to meet the jerks and move past them so you can learn what it is that you don't want in someone! :) i'm really happy that you did it.. you are SO brave and strong to have gone through with the date, and whether or not it was bubbly and romantic, it was still a major success for you! don't get yourself down!
 

Iseesky

Well-known member
that sucks :/

hes like the opposite of me, i take things supppppppppper slow

I would absolutely love you! I like to take things slow as well. I mean, why not take your time and enjoy things as they come?

aw girl =/ i know it didn't seem to go picture perfect, but the important thing is that you DID it... you didn't freak or puke! you were the one turning him down anyway, lol.. you should be very proud of yourself!! dating/relationships don't always work out, it's trial and error, you have to meet the jerks and move past them so you can learn what it is that you don't want in someone! :) i'm really happy that you did it.. you are SO brave and strong to have gone through with the date, and whether or not it was bubbly and romantic, it was still a major success for you! don't get yourself down!

Thanks :) You're right it was a success. I am proud. Can't always get what you want!
 
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