Anyone feel like they've never grown up?

[CrazyGirl]

Still feel like I've never grown up. it sucks

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I've lived in a shroud of depression and escapism for so long that the normal functioning world sometimes seems alien to me and I can only enter it wearing a mask of confidence and normality. But people are onto me, and know I haven't got my $hit together and that makes me even more insecure.

This right here is so me. Like, I didn't think I was depressed because I have felt this way for so many years that it almost just feels normal. My life is one distraction after another. I often get the feeling like I am wasting it, and as a result am a waste of a human being. Not sure what it will take to make this stop once and for all. If that is even possible. These days I don't expect much, and maybe that is the problem. I used to be so confident it would turn around 'cause it just had to. My depression started at 15, and I still very much feel like that 15 year old at 29, only now I know it can go on forever...

I recently purchased this workbook on dialectical behavioral therapy techniques. It is almost like an instruction manual for people like me (?) on how to be deal with life. It makes more sense than anything else I have read. Not sure how successful I can be doing the exercises on my own without the help of a therapist, but it has been a good read so far. I recommend it.

Amazon.com: Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) (9781572245136): Matthew McKay, Jeffr

 

[9407]

Yes. I'm turning 19 in a month and I still laugh at the same stupid things that a 12 year old would laugh at.