Anyone else unable to make small-talk?

[Geo]

(Hello by the way, first post here!)

K so I'm probably hands down one of the shyest guys in the whole grade (Going to grade 12 next week) I can talk and look people in the eye (Job interviews and the serious stuff are no problem) but when it comes to casual talk my mind goes completely blank. I usually end up avoiding people and if I do pass by someone I know I usually give a quick "Hey." and walk off, or pretend I don't see them. I haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years and even that didn't go far because I was way too shy to make a move. There were many opportunies for us to kiss, hug, hold hands and the like but I blew it all and then I lost her.

My coworker at work (He's in like his 40's) is a huge chatty-patty. He can literally talk and talk and talk till his mouth falls off and I envy that so much. When I do end up in a chit-chat all I ever do is ask questions rather than just talk myself and it's preventing me from making friends. I pretty much only have one year to get over this then I start University and I have to make good lasting impressions instead of the whole school deeming me shy, quiet, and boring (When in fact I actually love to talk but I just..can't y'know?).

Anybody been down this path and have solutions?

 

[kindred]

I've suffered from social phobia for 30 years and it's been hell. From my perspective I wouldn't exactly call you shy. The fact that you can attend interviews and make eye contact without any problems is proof of that. I'm so nervous, I'm basically terrified of any social contact whatsoever, unless I've had a drink, then I can talk to anyone. Brain chemistry is a funny thing. Not everyone has the gift of the gab and you simply have to accept it and it's nothing to be ashamed of. However, you're young and as you get older, your social skills will develop and you too will probably end up having the gift of the gab and then you'll look back and wonder why you were ever worried in the first place. Fear is the worst thing anyone can ever experience, so don't ever belittle yourself and think you're any less worthy than anyone else. You're as good as anyone, so don't dwell on your problems, instead just live your life to the fullest and be who ever you want to be and stop judging yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. Don't worry, be happy.

 

[gustavofring]

Not unable to, but it's hard for me to make an effort, especially when it's with people I don't have much in common with. It just feels forced a lot of the time.

I have no solution but I do feel like small talk can improve your relationships with people, especially if it's people you have to meet daily. Better a little friendly small talk then an awkward silence and passive agressive atmosphere. And small talk with a random stranger can brighten up your day as well I find. It depends on my mood if I am actually able to. Lately my mood for interacting with people has been at an all time low. I have 0 inspiration for talks with people.

 

[JuiceB]

I have very little interpersonal skills of any kind. I just don't know what to say.

I'm so nervous, I'm basically terrified of any social contact whatsoever, unless I've had a drink, then I can talk to anyone. Brain chemistry is a funny thing.

Same here. I wish there was a medical procedure on the brain which would allow me to feel permanently buzzed all day long, no alcohol.