Anyone else afraid to make the first move?

[planemo]

The thing is i've been friendless for years now, and my only real life friend or something to that extent was my psychologist, but i've had to stop seeing her since she wanted me to become more social and join group therapy, and since there are others on the waiting list to see her.

i have since joined group therapy and even though i feel a bond with the others there, i'm still afraid to talk to them once the session is over and perhaps keep in touch with them during the week.

i think this is a general fear and not just associated with the people of the group. i really wanna make a real life friend or friends, but i'm just too scared to make the first move.

anyone else find themselves dealing with something similar? have you been able to overcome and fear and try to initiate contact with others?

the thing is really terrified of trying to form a bond, and then the other person just ignores my attempts for seemingly no reason. its happened plenty of times in the past, and i'm really scared of it happening again.

 

[Hellhound]

Are the people in the group there for the same reasons as you? Because maybe they do have a really hard time as well.

I'm very afraid of making the first move too. I've done it anyway a few times, but it was rare, and in 90% of the cases, it lead to nothing.

 

[planemo]

Are the people in the group there for the same reasons as you? Because maybe they do have a really hard time as well.

I'm very afraid of making the first move too. I've done it anyway a few times, but it was rare, and in 90% of the cases, it lead to nothing.

It's not a social anxiety support group, no. The others do have depression and self esteem issues, and a lack of support from those closest to them, but as far as extreme anxiety and social withdrawal is concerned, i'm a bit on my own.

i really don't wanna come across as desperate, but in a way i kinda am. it's just so hard to make friends really. i know if i don't try to make any connections, none will happen. conversely making an effort doesn't seem to change things all that much. as you say 90% of the time it leads to nothing. so i'm a bit at a lost as what to do. at present the people in the group are my only real contact with people other than first degree relatives. so if i can't really connect with them, well, i guess i'm pretty much stuck.

 

[megalon]

Yeah, I can never make the first move. Probably not the second or third moves either. For me it's because I believe I'm not worthy of anyone's time. I think if I make any request to hang out, or do anything, or even text, it's just going to bother that person.

 

[Hellhound]

It's not a social anxiety support group, no. The others do have depression and self esteem issues, and a lack of support from those closest to them, but as far as extreme anxiety and social withdrawal is concerned, i'm a bit on my own.

I'm not sure you'd be on your own. I mean... they deal with mental health problems too. I am assuming they'd totally understand yours, even if they don't have the exact thing.