Am I the only one?

[TucanSam]

I have been diagnosed with depression, which probably doesn't help me, but a few months ago I began to really look at life and people. What they do and why, who they are and why they are like that. My upbringing was so different from other peoples that I began not to feel like I even belonged on this planet. I began to dislike society and the people who live in it to an extreme point.

A few weeks later, I began to have emotional/mental breaks. i'd start crying at the thought of how the world is. People act certain ways to fit in, chase certain goals because they are supposed to. The world seems full of shallow people living shallow lives with shallow relationships. They follow the pack, and don't seem to think deeply often, if ever at all.

I enjoy thinking. I do it all the time. I have been called a deep person by my therapist, and I just don't see how people can live such... meaningless lives. They are happy forging relationships that mean nothing, working jobs that accomplish nothing. They live for being social, for smal laccomplishments and going out on the weekend. Their lives just seem so... shallow is the only word I can think of, and Society approves all of this.

Am I the only one thinking along these lines? Am I the only one that feels like society is completely broken, that there should be something more than this?

 

[Blabla..]

That is how i feel also , and have always felt since i was born . That i believe is a sign , that it is time for you to look for answers . You are very fortunate to have this feeling , let it guide you , there is indeed nothing good to this system , just a system led by ignorant minds , it does not lead anywhere.

 

[MrJones]

I will never understand people, but I don't care. I just let them be and I want them to let me be too.

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

I relate 100% to all the things you said.

I believe most people just wear a blidfold, that blinds them to the true nature of our lives and allows the to find happiness in such shallow and meaningless ways.

Whether we should feel envy or pity for them... Now, that's a good question.

 

[starimmanuel]

Its easy and tempting to be greedy and selfish but it takes effort to be kind and considerate
Don't be depressed by other people actions just be proud that you are a strong enough person to rise above that.

 

[TucanSam]

This is how it feels to me, Im not sure if it rings true for you or not:

It feels like, as we were growing up, we were lied to. Life was portrayed as this great, amazing thing that you can't wait to get out and experience, but if everybody is doing the same thing at the same times for the same reasons, what is so great about it? I can't understand why people aren't heartbroken over what life really is.

People aren't extraordinary, and if they are even close to something like that they go to extreme measures to hide it. Like a Diamond that is smudged, but instead of polishing it to a shine they smudge themselves even more so others think they are just ordinary, like everybody else.

I don't know what I expected life to be like, but this is not it. This is not beautiful, this life is ugly, the people are ugly, the goals are ugly. I don't want this kind of life, this isn't what I have longed for all my life.

Life and society is about us, just us and what we want and what we think others should want as well.It's about having as much fun as fast as possible, with no regards to anything larger in life. Instant gratification without having to think about why or how we do what we do, and if it is right or wrong. Life is ordinary, and it breaks my heart to realize this.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

There are so many people who exist in the world- it's impossible to think that you're the 'only one' who values the things you do.

There will always be other people who share your feelings; even if they're not in your town or on the internet.

Life is about the journey and if you feel that you don't fit where you are; perhaps you should think about traveling to find more?

 

[TucanSam]

The problem is I dont feel like i would fit anywhere at this point.

 

[ChrystaR]

I feel the same way a lot of the time.

I see people have all these meaningless relationships and I think 'why do they even bother?' They are never going to be together forever... and lo and behold, they break up and find someone else to 'fall in love with' and the same things happens over and over. Why should I bother dating or finding people if I know nothing good or permanent will come of it?

But on the other side of that coin is 'if I don't ever put myself out there, I will throw away whatever chance of finding someone good that there is'. But I'm at a point that I can't do anything about it even if I wanted to. I don't have a license, or a job. I don't have friends, my anxiety is still tying me down and I don't see how any of that is going to change.

So many people are just what you said. Shallow. They don't go very deep and they probably couldn't be deep if they even wanted to try, which they don't. People don't think about anything, they just do. I tried to have a friendship with a childhood friend and she never said anything, never shared emotions. It's like they don't even exist. If they do, they aren't very complex.

I don't know how to stop thinking. And I can't understand how most of the world doesn't even think at all.

But other people don't know how shallow they are. They don't know or want or expect anything more from the world. And it's very hard on the people that do.

Is there a way around this somehow? I have no idea. Do we just get used to the idea of being surrounded by people who don't care? In my opinion, the internet is the best place to find someone because you can express feelings like this and put them out for people to see and it draws similar people towards you (hopefully). In the real world you have to sift through all the layers and fake faces people present themselves with. But on the other hand, what stops people being fake on the internet, too. Nothing.

I agree it's hard and sometimes you just want to give up. I don't really know what to do to fix this problem either. I don't think therapy can change how you feel about other people and the feeling that they offer nothing. But I suppose it could help in making you more at peace with the realization that it may take a long time (if ever) before you find someone that truly means something. Therapy may help you become happier being alone.

I suppose I could talk about this forever. So many different aspects to this, so many different words.

Every single one of my friendships has ended by the other person abandoning me. And that is usually because that person isn't deep enough and doesn't care enough to keep our friendship alive. People give you pain, but they can give you love, too.

*sigh* It's a painful double edged sword.

I want to have relationships... friends... a boyfriend. I daydream about it often.... but if it will happen or when it will happen? I don't know.

Ugh, ok, I'm done.