Am I just an idiot?

[GaEul]

So I guess I have this......thing I do that I do over really simple normal things that people at my school probably dont do. Ive been guessing its just Anxiety and have been looking for ways to 'get rid' of it. But I feel stupid looking it up and such so Im gonna write what happen last week to me thats an example to what happens to me but in differnet situations and I guess put your thoughts on wheather or not I do have an anxiety problem and should tell someone or im just an idiot who needs more self control
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During school I had accidently turned in my homework instead of my classwork and when I got home and figured out what happened I started panicing on what the teacher would say to me when I tell him I didn't have homework. So I just sat on the ground and started crying and then like always my first instict was to slit my throat and that the only way I could solve this was to kill myself. So I got up and walked to the kitchen and stared at the knifes and the whole time my mind was screaming YOU IDIOT This is really your sloution?! Why? And eventually I walk away and just cry without actually hurting myself but standing there for a long time debating.

And Ive also considered this as maybe teenager hormones but this has been going on since I was about 8. And now im kinda just put up with this act so Im wondering if maybe I should tell someone or be harder on myself to stop?

I'd really apperciate advice. Im sorry if its really hard to read, English is not my first language and I used Google to translate most of it

 

[Silatuyok]

You should definitely tell someone: parent, school counselor, someone who can help you. This is not the kind of thing you want to be trying to fight on your own. It's too hard.

 

[laure15]

Welcome to the forum! You are not an idiot. Having perfectionist tendencies can make you feel this way. I'm a perfectionist and I beat myself up over every little mistake that I make. If I don't make an A in a class, I get angry at myself. Now I realize that as human beings, we are not perfect and can never be perfect so we will make mistakes.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Definitely tell an adult (your parents, your counselor, etc) about this. It's ok to miss a classwork; it probably doesn't count as much as a test.

 

[Dreamseller]

It's school. Don't worry about stuff like that. Unless it's an important exam that dictates which university you get to go to (if that's your plan post highschool), it really doesn't matter that much if you miss a homework here and there.

I know that's easier said than done....

 

[GaEul]

Im kind of embaressed to tell someone though but I will try to confront a friend and see their reaction