I know everybody has their own talents so pls guys don't put that in r replies, if there will be replies.. for example this guy I know is very smart, funny, and knows the freakin MOON WALK xd....Ialways considered myself pretty smart and my parents aren't stupid, then I use to be very funny( but it's been such a long time, two and a half years), then I don't know how to dance, I can go through that... but I have this feeling that's killing me like there's something very wrong with me, like besides my SA and ocpd. like that I have no imagination or that I don't think outside the box... then I really thought about it and realized that when u have a low self esteem u can't do have the stuff u can with a high self esteem, but if I were cable when I was younger I would have that high self esteem which goes back to the question: am I incable?? I use to write very good essays... everything was ALMOST normal before my SA and ocpd kicked in...
am I incable???
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Jake123
Banned
Contrary to the popular cliche, not everyone has their own talents. Some people have none. A lot of people, in fact. There's over 6 billion people on the planet and not everyone is going to be particularly good at something. So don't worry about not being able to do the moonwalk or whatever. And honestly I think the whole "self-esteem" thing is taken too seriously. Not everyone who's talented and successful and amazing has high self-esteem, and not everyone who's a complete and total failure has low self-esteem.
There's so many variables.
There's so many variables.
Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
I think that questioning your capabilities and talents stem from your SA and OCPD. You don't lose your talents and capabilities overnight.
Harleyq
Well-known member
You are NOT incapable. Frightened and worried, yes. Incapable, absolutely not. If you could do all those things at one point in your life, you can do it again. SA and OCPD are treatable and curable, therefore you have every opportunity to work on becoming you to the fullest, positive extent.
I would suggest trying not to tackle a bunch of things at once to try to be more like the way you were before your esteem dropped. Try to concentrate on where you are now, what accomplishments you make (no matter how little they are), and take things one step at a time. I'm sure there are plenty of capable, interesting things about you the way you are right now that you're not seeing.
I would suggest trying not to tackle a bunch of things at once to try to be more like the way you were before your esteem dropped. Try to concentrate on where you are now, what accomplishments you make (no matter how little they are), and take things one step at a time. I'm sure there are plenty of capable, interesting things about you the way you are right now that you're not seeing.
that's what I thought.. that I could get them back but it's been two and a half years... I don't have any more patience to bare...and I'm really scared...
Harleyq
Well-known member
You've probably been spending more time worrying about it than relaxing. It's one of those situations where the more you worry about it, the less gets done. You're concentrating on how much time passed and how things used to be, instead of accepting who you are now and working to enhance your current personality.
Have you thought about/are you seeing a therapist?
Harleyq
Well-known member
Yeah, it's really hard. It' like you have to change the way you're wired to think. For me, it could take a few months or more just to give myself credit for a tiny bit of improvement. Sometimes I feel I'm never going to be really cured because there's always more and more stuff to "fix" or when I think I've gotten better, I relapse a little. Just gotta keep trying, though...
we have to keep trying.. somewhere on this forum I heard,, and thought of it myself that anger is good motivation... the anger of failing every time.. my doc isn't a real therapist, but she finished cbt.. so could u explain to me what u do with r therapist, how old r u... just the basics... pls.. 
I just think about being funny and saying whity stuff.. and that makes it even more impossible.. how long have u been trying???
I just think about being funny and saying whity stuff.. and that makes it even more impossible.. how long have u been trying???
yes, you are incapable of spelling incapable
hahahah, sorry, english is my second language!
Harleyq
Well-known member
we have to keep trying.. somewhere on this forum I heard,, and thought of it myself that anger is good motivation... the anger of failing every time.. my doc isn't a real therapist, but she finished cbt.. so could u explain to me what u do with r therapist, how old r u... just the basics... pls..
I'm 21, and have been working on my SA since I was 18, although I've had it since I was a little kid. Therapy helps me put things in perspective - I talk about daily struggles...what I think has gotten better, what's gotten worse, what's stayed the same, and possible things I could do about those situations. A lot of the time is spent just talking about the way these situations make them feel and we talk about how to cope with those feelings and not think so negatively. I think it's different for everyone, because it depends on what kind of psychology your therapist likes to use, and where your mindset is and what you want to talk about.
It's helped a lot. I used to absolutely refuse to answer phones, doors, message people online, walk down the same street as someone, drive in front of someone, speak up in class, eat in public, or interact with a cashier. Now I can do all of those things, although sometimes I still have to work myself up to it (I still spend 30 minutes talking to myself before I pick up a phone to call someone).
One thing I haven't conquered yet is the ability to form relationships and acquaintances. Somehow I managed to do it in highschool but now that I'm in college, I've found that I'm still running with my tail between my legs anytime I have the opportunity to talk to people or make friends. And when I do talk, I stammer and mix my words up a lot. And I also haven't gotten rid of my need to please EVERYBODY. I still get stomach aches and nausea over little things like choosing to skip a class because I overslept.
Reiji Moritsugu
Well-known member
As it has already been said, you are probably just questioning your talents because of SA and OCD. Those are not things you can lose overnight and even if you actually lost them, be glad that you at least had them at some point in your life !! since that means you have a shot at getting them back. If you ask me, it is far worse to have never had a talent than having one and losing it for you cannot recover what you never had inside you.
Contrary to the popular cliche though, some people just are born with no talents. Take me as an example; there is absolutely nothing that I can say I´m even remotely good at, so the most I can aim for is being mediocre by the way, my younger brother is good at everything he tries, leading to annoying comparisons in which I always lose. I would say this reinforces the fact that yes, some people are incapable indeed and that "everybody has their own talents" crap is not true by any means.
[I apologize for the pseudo rant, but aside from the fact that I really needed to get it out of my system, I do believe it reinforces the fact]
But if you ever had some talents they must still be there, yet you have lost the ability to notice them, and then you do not fall into this group I hope you can go to a therapist and sort these issues out. English is also my second language, by the way ^^
See you around
Contrary to the popular cliche though, some people just are born with no talents. Take me as an example; there is absolutely nothing that I can say I´m even remotely good at, so the most I can aim for is being mediocre
by the way, my younger brother is good at everything he tries, leading to annoying comparisons in which I always lose. I would say this reinforces the fact that yes, some people are incapable indeed and that "everybody has their own talents" crap is not true by any means.[I apologize for the pseudo rant, but aside from the fact that I really needed to get it out of my system, I do believe it reinforces the fact]
But if you ever had some talents they must still be there, yet you have lost the ability to notice them, and then you do not fall into this group
I hope you can go to a therapist and sort these issues out. English is also my second language, by the way ^^See you around
ahahhahahahahahahaaahahhahaahahhaahahah yup, it's been the family business for quite a while... since r an SA fellow I'll give u a discount.. u can watch bosnian movies... xD