jcoffeecat
New member
WARNING....THIS IS LONG LOL.
I can't make friends, of course it's probably partly due to I'm a homemaker and barely go anywhere. However, I do have a friend, my best friend, besides my husband. She and I have been friends for 20 years now, but she lives in North Carolina. I have moved closer to her, here in Tennessee, but we are still 4 hours away.
My husband has made a friend of a b@%$#, and that is partly my fault for "allowing" it. You may think that sounds crazy, me saying "allow" like I run him, but you'd have to know the whole story.
Part of that story goes back years, to when he made me tell another one of my best friends(of whom was a guy) that he didn't want me to be friends with him anymore. I knew Junior way before I met my husband, infact, he had literally saved my life on my 17th birthday, when my boyfriend(and first son's biological) had left me in a ditch to die after beating me to a pulp. He picked me up and drove me to a mutual friends apt. and iced my bruises, and set with me that whole night. Well, out of respect, I guess you'd say, and love for my husband, I went to Junior, in front of his wife, and crying, told him I could no longer be friends with him. Even his wife cried, not understanding why. She knew how close Junior and I were.
Anyways, he tried to get me to be friends with her, but when all I see is them saying things that a married man and a single b@#$% shouldn't be saying to eachother, whether in fun or not, my mind races. And, yes, he has cheated one time 8 years ago, never again. So, he says I'm crazy(which is true, lol), but they don't respect me enough to chill out, of course I sit here all day, and I guess you could say I "hallucinate" or whatever, that they are laughing at me, and doing things. I want to get her!! But, I have kids, so of course I won't chance going to jail. She says things like "well, I'll always be in your life no matter what" and **** like that to him. And I am not saying it's all her fault, my husband doesn't love me anymore, I guess. They work together, and then he gets home and he gets online with her, sometimes till bedtime. I have told them both how I feel. And, even before he met her, I had told him I feel my manic depression, and other problems I have, have been getting worse and I'm scared. Yet, I'm scared of going to a doctor over it, go figure, lol. He thinks everything is in my head(my problems, diagnoses). They are not. Does he not think I want to be somewhat normal? Of course I do(only a lil ;-)). I tried to be friends with her, but like I told my husband, I can't have a friend someone else picks, and one I don't trust. I rarely trust anyone as it is. Am I wrong for feeling this way??? When I confront him about it, he just gets defensive, even defends her actions at times. Like I said, it may be innocent, but when the wife asks you to chill, you should. It's like they patronize me and ****. I'm sorry I know this was sooo long. Thanks to the ones who took the time to listen to me cry. Am I wrong for being so ticked off and hurt? Am I crazy????
I can't make friends, of course it's probably partly due to I'm a homemaker and barely go anywhere. However, I do have a friend, my best friend, besides my husband. She and I have been friends for 20 years now, but she lives in North Carolina. I have moved closer to her, here in Tennessee, but we are still 4 hours away.
My husband has made a friend of a b@%$#, and that is partly my fault for "allowing" it. You may think that sounds crazy, me saying "allow" like I run him, but you'd have to know the whole story.
Part of that story goes back years, to when he made me tell another one of my best friends(of whom was a guy) that he didn't want me to be friends with him anymore. I knew Junior way before I met my husband, infact, he had literally saved my life on my 17th birthday, when my boyfriend(and first son's biological) had left me in a ditch to die after beating me to a pulp. He picked me up and drove me to a mutual friends apt. and iced my bruises, and set with me that whole night. Well, out of respect, I guess you'd say, and love for my husband, I went to Junior, in front of his wife, and crying, told him I could no longer be friends with him. Even his wife cried, not understanding why. She knew how close Junior and I were.
Anyways, he tried to get me to be friends with her, but when all I see is them saying things that a married man and a single b@#$% shouldn't be saying to eachother, whether in fun or not, my mind races. And, yes, he has cheated one time 8 years ago, never again. So, he says I'm crazy(which is true, lol), but they don't respect me enough to chill out, of course I sit here all day, and I guess you could say I "hallucinate" or whatever, that they are laughing at me, and doing things. I want to get her!! But, I have kids, so of course I won't chance going to jail. She says things like "well, I'll always be in your life no matter what" and **** like that to him. And I am not saying it's all her fault, my husband doesn't love me anymore, I guess. They work together, and then he gets home and he gets online with her, sometimes till bedtime. I have told them both how I feel. And, even before he met her, I had told him I feel my manic depression, and other problems I have, have been getting worse and I'm scared. Yet, I'm scared of going to a doctor over it, go figure, lol. He thinks everything is in my head(my problems, diagnoses). They are not. Does he not think I want to be somewhat normal? Of course I do(only a lil ;-)). I tried to be friends with her, but like I told my husband, I can't have a friend someone else picks, and one I don't trust. I rarely trust anyone as it is. Am I wrong for feeling this way??? When I confront him about it, he just gets defensive, even defends her actions at times. Like I said, it may be innocent, but when the wife asks you to chill, you should. It's like they patronize me and ****. I'm sorry I know this was sooo long. Thanks to the ones who took the time to listen to me cry. Am I wrong for being so ticked off and hurt? Am I crazy????