Am I a whiner?

[Falkor]

Hello there,

I have got a question. I wonder why people say ''Just get over it''
I don't get it why people can say such a thing, I mean, it really hurts and it's a fact of mis-understanding of the problem and the pain that comes with it. Or am I just a whiner in fact?

I mean, I cry a lot, I am very sensetive, I say a lot that I'm vulnerable and in fact I am, I'm very upset about little things and sometimes people like me for that and special, sometimes they hate me for that. I mean, I haven't been chosing this and I feel stupid sometimes. I'm not a whining kid I just need a lot of affection and love. And I can say a lot about ''That I feel upset about my life having SA'' Is that not good to say? Should I just say, Yeah, My life can be tough, but I need to get on with it? I have to say it gets better but still I wonder why people say ''Get over it'' and ''You can whine''

Are there any tips how to stop whining, or how to understand why people hate whining? I always give dogs and cats hugs when they whine lol.. And kids too, I try to cheer them up.. Then. Because I know their pain actually.

 

[Falkor]

I try to understand it though, try to learn why people respond to that like that and I try to understand my own behaviour what I need and why I do that for (i think to heal ) and what i can do to change my own behaviour to be more positive and bring what I feel like bringing these days.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I can't answer you because I don't think you're whining, just telling your truth and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[ForeverTheWeirdKid]

I wonder why people say that to. There's no such thing as "just getting over it" It's not humanly possible lol.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Hmmmmmmmm..... I don't think it's humanly possible to "just get over it". It's a process, maybe it is more natural or quicker for others, but to just put it aside isn't to deal with it, it's to stuff it into the back corners of your mind so that you can function at a compromised level, which in turn takes up a lot of the space in your mind. It's like having clutter in your mind that isn't dealt with. Just because you ignore it, doesn't mean it's not still there... Clutter blocks you from ever reaching your full potential. It takes up your emotional energy so that you feel everything a little less than you could.

Most people do not deal with their issues. They are afraid of emotions or have very little emotional intelligence, so they mis-perceive repression as "dealing with it"... They mis-perceive repression as self-discipline and thus strength, when really they are taking away from their own energy by keeping tons of hurt things locked up in the denial part of their brain. Most people are professional repressers, I mean just think, there are so many out there using alcohol, drugs, and sex, and even socialization as more of an escape because of these little things that they don't want to sit with and feel out.

I think it is better to feel it. It's the first part of dealing with it, and IMO at least it puts one ahead of the person who just stuffs it back, in emotional intelligence. The problem becomes, how does one COMPLETE the process of dealing with emotions? That is something that may take some google research. I know though that feeling your emotions is the most important part of growing from them. Maybe what you have to do is really focus on the core of the feeling when you're completely alone and feel it to it's full extent. Cry about them, or write about them in a journal, and of course a counselor is good for this too because then you can talk about them in depth.

It's also really important to speak your truth.. The more authentic you are with everybody, the more your natural defense mechanism to hide fades, and the more truthful and deep you can feel your thoughts opinion and emotions with yourself, and thus release them naturally.
I could be totally off topic or just rambling I have no idea :/

One only becomes a whiner when one refuses to move on, they cry out in pain, ask for help, but don't want it.

 

[SilentBird]

I agree with lyricalliaisons. You are expressing how you feel and it needs to be done to move on. A lot of people aren't receptive to expressions of pain. There are people who are receptive such as on this site. I also hope you have people in your real life who are accepting and willing to listen without judgment. You are sensitive, to yourself and others, and there is great value in that. Yes, it can be painful but it can be rewarding too.

 

[da_illest101]

Well the less you care, the less you gonna whine about things. But that's who you are, don't change because some people hate that, stay the same because some like it