always getting rejected by women

[Anonymous]

I am a woman, and I hate to say it, but I could NEVER date a man with social anxiety, or who was anxious about anything.

I need a man to be dependable, who I can sleep next to and feel safe -- knowing that he can take care of me and can take care of himself. I do NOT want another child, or someone who I will have to constantly reassure, love and mother. I want someone who doesn't need my love and won't constantly need be to be his therapist.

Masculinity is so hard to find these days, but it's something that all of you insecure men should seek -- at least if you want to de a dependable and confident husband or boyfriend.

 

[Anonymous]

it's almost as if dandi needs a daddy to take care or her. What ever happened to strong- open minded women?

 

[Anonymous]

Why do some women take men who are shy or who have SA like it is some personal rejection towards them? Maybe those women just expect everything to happen easily in life and except everyone else to confidently reaffirming thier feelings. Can a woman find strength in herself? emotionally?

 

[annie]

Dandelion

You are pathetic.
I agree with what worrydoll said.

With your attitude good luck in finding a MAN, little girl.

annie

 

[Anonymous]

In my experience, men with social anxiety are unreliable and do not make good husbands. My best friend's father has it, and he has been a worthless, selfish father to my friend throughout the marriage. The man was divorced by his wife three years ago, and during that time has hardly reached out to the family at all.

Now, he lives like a hermit and only goes out to pick up medication and go to therapy. He has lost his job, can't pay for the house payment, and is basically living a life that is a train wreck in slow motion. What woman wants to marry a man knowing that this is what the future holds?

I don't care if my man is poor, ugly, stupid, all I want is for my man to be confident, reliable, and dependable, not self-absorbed, insecure, and selfish.

 

[LilMissTragic]

Basing all your facts on ONE man, omg, you really are shallow. I think men with Sp actually come acorss as very caring and I know damn well most of them would make great husbands. I'm an independant type of woman that doesn't need 'Taking care of'. Whats wrong with you, are you the child that needs protecting?. We are living in the day and age where we are supposed to be equals. If you need looking after then your the one with the problem.

 

[lifesnotfair]

i honestly don't care anymore.. women are dead to me.. as far as i am concerned, is that all the experiences that i have had with them have been bad, not ONE good experience with them, so how many times do you have to try before you actually have a GOOD experience?

Screw it...

 

[Evicted]

Life is not fair, really. Im a guy from Spain and this is the first time i write something in a foreign forum. I beg your pardon for my limited use of the language.

In my short experience women have been cruel, so cruel. They dont need to be courteous and educated when they meet someone as me or you, a boy with serious vulnerabilities, insecure and afraid of them. If they can humiliate you they will do it without remorse.

I have been rejected, of course, many times. And my best weapon to clear all the pain and suffering is indifference and trying to forget all the bad moments. I know that im evolving into a more cold and dispassionate person, but this is what they want for people like me. Live your life, shut up and dont bother.

Lifeisnotfair, life is BS and you know that. Im sorry to seem desperate and depressed, but i`ll keep trying. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I only hope that it wouldnt be late for me to see it.

 

[Anonymous]

He has lost his job, can't pay for the house payment, and is basically living a life that is a train wreck in slow motion. What woman wants to marry a man knowing that this is what the future holds?

You can see the future? Interesting. Then you can be sure you won't be hit by a car and left disabled and laid off your job later this week? Because your existence would be similar.

I don't care if my man is poor, ugly, stupid, all I want is for my man to be confident, reliable, and dependable, not self-absorbed, insecure, and selfish.

Those things are not mutually exclusive. There are lots of confident, insecure, self-absorbed men, for instance. They're the ones girls like you complain about because you always fall for their flashy personality, and assume that such a personality automatically means that the man has depth of character.

I think you'll also find that the confident, reliable, dependable men are going to choose to marry women with much more kindness and sensitivity than you've displayed here.

 

[spacecadetglowuk]

Basing all your facts on ONE man, omg, you really are shallow. I think men with Sp actually come acorss as very caring and I know damn well most of them would make great husbands. I'm an independant type of woman that doesn't need 'Taking care of'. Whats wrong with you, are you the child that needs protecting?. We are living in the day and age where we are supposed to be equals. If you need looking after then your the one with the problem.

that is so true

guys this is SA talking, it destroys your confidence and self worth, get CBT, get therapy, get help, get sorted out.

You'll get strength from that, postive thinking and positive appeal is what makes you attractive to people, a defeatist attitude toward women will get you nowhere.

It cant be healthy to be so obsessed about it either

 

[Anonymous]

But why do you want expect this of him is it a catharsis for something that you can't give yourself.

As far as your best friend's father. It is ashame, but you really can't base every SA guy off of one person. And did your best friend's family and daughter try to help this man any? If they weren't selfish also, then maybe through their understanding, instead of accusations and blame, he would have gotten better and would have appeared less selfish.

 

[annie]

I agree whole heartedly with LilMissTragic.

Also did you read RonW's post?
If I only I could find a great sensitive, slightly social phobic like him. He seems to have came a long way with his social anxiety.
Obviously you are not prepared to give anyone a go, they have to be perfect, well guess what? no one is perfect.

RonW if you read this, why do you think I would hate your brother? :wink:

Cheers
annie

 

[Fredscars]

Dandelion:

my friends father has severe SA, he cannot leave the house, he hits his kids because he does not know how to act around them. Yes he is a social wreck yet my friend loves him. completely and utterly. One time her and I had won a school prize which was presented at prize giving. her father turned up. i am certain she nearly burst with pride.

His suffering means that she is encouraging me to seek help

men with SA need more encouragement, loving and help then your everyday guy. im not saying take pity on them, for i doubt they would appreciate pity. Treat them as though they were normal, but with more compassion. if your looking for a sex buddy then roam the streets and find one. if you are looking for a potential partner dont rule out guys with SA. theres nothing saying they are not reliable.

so many of us on here (the women and men) are happily married or in relationships. are you saying that we have no RIGHT to be in these relationships, because our 'condition' says that we are not dependable and suitable?

 

[dat cat nikko]

70% of all woman are complex and alot of times dumb creatures who dont regornize good men.a quiet,shy guy they reject who is mostly smart,intelligent and nice but dem talking mutha****ers whos blablabla all day like females dem self,they like dem because woman likes blabla alot,but there are some good,intelligent and sharp woman out there thats reqornize a good man but i think they only 30% so they be hard find.GOOD LUCK

 

[mrb]

try looking for a female freind .. not just looking at girls in a sexual way sorry just my view lol

 

[klytus]

Sounds like this is coming from someone who has had the experience. I've been trying to tell some people the same thing. I think men and women can be great friends once a person can get over thinking that the opposite sex is only good for sex.

Honestly, it depends on the individual girl what she is good for. As with male friends, female friends must be chosen with care - obviously. A few truly are only good for sex as it seems.

 

[klytus]

But you wouldn't have sex with those girls who are only good for sex?

Oh, I would. :: However, just because they aren't good for much more than sex it doesn't mean that they are no work. The effort to get to that point is clearly not worth it. Pure sexual attraction can't be made - it's either there or it isn't. So, spending time with girls I am only sexually interested in to eventually get into their pants is time wasted.

Oh, I'm sure that they made someone else completely happy, but I like my men smart. Not necessarily MIT smart, just good old fashion common sense smart. Maybe guys like you are too smart for me, though. ::

Rawr. Of course, they are certainly good enough for someone else, but they would never be able to make me happy - at least not in the long run. It's unrealistic to want a relationship with someone who is clearly too different to me for a relationship to ever work out.

Honestly, I am not that smart. I can be pretty irrational and inconsiderate at times.

 

[klytus]

You never know until you know. You'll never know until you try. Otherwise, what you say is fair.

True, to some extent, but taking into account what's on stake, I prefer not to try. The loss would eventually be bigger than the gain could ever be. A relationship with someone totally different to me would mean lots of work, and time. More than I can afford at this point. Later, when my academic achievements are more stable, I can free up more time for less thought-out activities.

Quit being modest. You are smart. Sometimes probably too smart for your own good because you can be too analytical when you should just go with the flow and let yourself feel instead of think.

I am smart, just not -that- smart. I already feel way too much for my own good. :: Sometimes it's hard to concentrate when you have "Rawr. Sex." in mind.

Damn, Klytus! Quit replying to my posts.

No way.

 

[Pookah]

I'd be interested to know if you are going after pretty/shallow girls and maybe that is why this is happening, you are basically doing what they are doing to you in a roundabout way by rejecting a type of girl.

 

[A_Void_Ant]

Damn... just be patient and don't ask so many girls out. Just wait for a girl to give YOU a sign that she is interested. People always act like the men have it harder, having to ask the girls out; that men are the initiators, but it's not true... Girls initiate with their body language! Learn how to read it and you wouldn't waste your time asking girls whom are not interested. Personally, I can just feel it in the girls' auras what they think of me, but I don't ask girls out. I don't want a girlfriend at this point, but they sure as hell are crazy about me even though I am unconfident, extremly skinny, shy, and just plain wierd. I'm just patiently waiting for that special someone. In fact, they ask ME out and I tell them NO. Why? Because I don't want a girlfriend. I know that doesn't make sense. It's not really advice unless you understand the body language I'm talking about, but to keep it simple, for someone like you who is actively pursuing girls: don't waste time and tears on the ones you know aren't interested. That's all the inane drivel I have to say on the matter for now. Good luck on the situation.