Also venting

[aj]

If it's this hard to organise something then I'm surprised that anyone goes out at all. I've been trying to go out with this girl as a friend for weeks. It's not one sided, she says she wants to get together with me and "we so need to catch up" after we stopped working together a while ago. Every single week it starts fine but when it gets closer to actually deciding on something, she seems to disappear off the face of the planet, not answering any kind of message. She occasionally says "hi" at the start of the evening and I answer her, but I never get a reply because she's just disappeared again.

This week I think it's reached its climax... she had a couple of days holiday yesterday and today (Thursday and Friday) and she said that we should get together. So I booked these same two days off. I had to take some time off anyway so it doesn't really affect anything but I took those two for her, thinking something might happen over the four days, even if it was just lunch for an hour. On Tuesday she said we should go for lunch today, Friday. Did anything get organised? Of course it didn't.

To be honest I'm completely f*cked off because she says she like me and she's there "as my friend" - so why am I now wasting my second day off doing absolutely nothing? As well as the usual evenings and weekends that are the same? I'm sick of being taken for an idiot with the carrot being dangled in front of me then taken away, week after week after week after week.

Also, she has never started a conversation with me through Facebook or text messages. It's always been me starting it with her. She has my phone number and she's never called me. I wouldn't be able to answer it but she really doesn't know that and it would be nice if she tried. Does that sound like a friend to you? It's beginning to stink of bullsh*t.

Maybe she just doesn't like me but what else is "I really like you" supposed to mean?

Yesterday I asked her if everything was okay because she wasn't answering anything, and I just got a question mark as an answer!

I'm trying my hardest not to send a sh*tty message to her because I'd like to think that there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for it all, which is partly why I'm venting here and not at her.

I'm just pissed off because she was so nice to me, seemed to actually like me, keeps saying we should do something, only for it to fall at the last hurdle every time.

I might have been a bit needy and pestered her too much, but I really don't think I have and I've been trying hard to keep it to the minimum. And it's only because she keeps saying again and again that we should get together.

 

[bulldog21083]

I've been in similar situations. I think it's probably that she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you she doesn't want to hang out. She might be hoping you will just give up.

I know it sucks, I've gone through it before. When you said you always contact her first, to me that's a pretty big sign that SHE isn't interested.

 

[aj]

I can see that. I'm always thinking that anyway but I just try to ignore it.

I just find it odd because surely if you are doing that then you don't say, "fancy a beer tomorrow lunch time? or we can do lunch friday?" do you? Because we still work in the same place and I walk past her every morning (no I can't talk to her, she's always either with people of on the phone). Anyway she'll get what she wants soon because I can't do it any more.

 

[dan_e]

Same thing happens to me AJ, only in a friendship kind of way. Whenever I work up the courage to ask someone to hang out they say no, or they'll leave me hanging for an answer. Then I have to flat out ask yes or no.....of course the answer ends up being no.