ALL SHY MEN PLEASE ANSWER

[TooShyShy]

Ok after reading some of these posts i have decided...

That what you very shy and anxious men are saying is EVEN IF YOU LIKED THE GIRL ALOT, WANTED TO BE WITH HER MORE THAN ANYTHING, WERE CRAZY..MADLY..GOO-GOO EYED IN LOVE WITH HER YOU COULD NEVER EVER TELL HER OR SHOW HER, SO INTURN YOU COULD NEVER PHYSICALLY BE WITH HER!!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even if she approached you and told you she liked you more than anything and really wanted to be with you--wanted to date and be in a relationship with you AS A GIRLFRIEND you still couldn't do anything about it..like say yes to her!!!!!

So in all honesty should we women who like shy guys just give it up and go for someone else???


Be honest. Is there really any hope?

 

[Gone]

That what you very shy and anxious men are saying is EVEN IF YOU LIKED THE GIRL ALOT, WANTED TO BE WITH HER MORE THAN ANYTHING, WERE CRAZY..MADLY..GOO-GOO EYED IN LOVE WITH HER YOU COULD NEVER EVER TELL HER OR SHOW HER, SO INTURN YOU COULD NEVER PHYSICALLY BE WITH HER!!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even if she approached you and told you she liked you more than anything and really wanted to be with you--wanted to date and be in a relationship with you AS A GIRLFRIEND you still couldn't do anything about it..like say yes to her!!!!!

I think your right, thats how i think anyway. Even if the girl of my dreams felt just remotely the same as i did about her, i don't think i could be with her, really.

But, even if thats how your man feels, and who knows, you shouldn't stop trying, you could still change his mind, nothing is a 100% in this world. If you really love him you MAKE him believe you and see how things really are.

Just my thoughts on it....i think there is hope, deep inside i wish someone cared for me like that more then anything.

 

[Ubersonic]

Even if she approached you and told you she liked you more than anything and really wanted to be with you--wanted to date and be in a relationship with you AS A GIRLFRIEND you still couldn't do anything about it..like say yes to her!!!!!

I would say "YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!" if a girl I liked said this to me.

 

[fearlessvenom]

i would be hesitant, i would think she was joking or making fun of me. at this moment there is no way i would sincerely believe any girl saying that they like me.
but if she asked, i would say yes.

 

[ventriloone]

i wouldn't believe her either but if i liked her but ... well i guess in your case you already know he's shy so if she had some hinting like ever said "i know you're shy" then i would come right out and say "yea i'm shy and worse have social anxiety and thus i have a lot of difficulty doing the things you like... If you realize this and still want to date me i will but i'm probably going to look as if i don't like you because i'm going to be so terribly nervous around you."

or something. I think i would date if i found a girl understanding that i liked but i know i certainly won't however if i did my point remains.

 

[Carlsbad]

Yeah, like what skins said: everyone is different. Back in the day, if this happened, I would probably run away liked a scared horse! Nowadays I would be really skeptical because it seems to good to be true; so I would ask: "What did you just say?" I doubt it would happen to me, but if it did, my response would be the same.

 

[recluse]

If girl would actually tell me that she wan't to be with me i would take that as a green light. I wish girls would make the first move.

 

[anxiousguy83]

I would blush, but I would never be hesitant if I find her good looking and all.
Girls who do this are usually very confident and outgoing I guess, and that would put my anxiety to a high level.

 

[JonnyD]

so, you're looking for an answer or for a confirmation?

first of all your in social phobia world, most guys here have some experience where they turned out something they wanted because they where afraid... and that's sissy, it's so absolutelly stupid and idiotic, i don't belive a did it before!


and you will got a major range of anseres from guys who would actually turn out a girl they wanted , people often tell it to reafirm their visions on their own sociofobida (which i call self pitty squared) and or they're sharing some past remembrances...

and man, it irritates me so much when i hear "i'm not only shy , i'm sociophobic" , that's the 100th time i hear it around here, suck it up, stop self pitting and go make something to change this fucking state!



What you fail to notice is that you won't find out anything until you do something, it's just how this universe works, you can make a handfull of possibilities and yet you don't know what's going own in his mind...


the thing is, if he called you right now, and told you how much he loves you, are you absolutelly sure how would you answer, you know each letter of each word of what you'll say?

i can say that, i probably know that my answer to someone telling that loves me, would be yes, but i don't know if i would grab her and give a holliwood stile kiss, or if i would say yes and run away, i can only find out if it happens! and if it happens twice it would not probably happen the same way...

it's just our uncertain universe of possibilities...

 

[Danfalc]

Be honest. Is there really any hope?

I think there is always hope aslong as you think there is yourself.Every person is different...I think if i had a girl I didnt know flirt with me out of the blue id struggle to handle it.But given time to get to knew her at my own space id totaly get comfy and if i cared for her the same id be prepared to take that risk,even if i had to make contact back or make the move.Thats just me personaly tho

Maybe its a sign that your right for each other aswell if he does find it easier to be himself around you because he knows you accept his anxiety.And i think the key to it is maybe patience and some reasurance at first to build up the trust and confidence.

 

[slimjim119]

There is always hope. As others mentioned there is varying degrees of how people suffer with SA. In my experience, If a girl showed any interest in me and I knew about it. I would have no problem at all approaching her. In my mind the fear of rejection and embarrassment would be eliminated.

The only time that happened to me was when I was in the 8th grade and a friend told me about this girl that liked me. So I asked her out, and she was the first girlfriend I had. From reading all your posts, It baffles me why this guy you have been writing about has not asked you out yet.

 

[TooShyShy]

"From reading all your posts, It baffles me why this guy you have been writing about has not asked you out yet."




It baffles me as well. I am not consceded or stuck up at all..i am actually shy, especially around him I AM GETTING AS BAD AS HIM NOW but i know he likes me i can tell..he wouldn't act so differently around me if he didn't..and look at me the way he does all the time.

I am the only one he is this way with. To the rest of the staff, men and women he is out going, funny, talkative, etc. around me he is quiet, ploite and can't seem to fully relax!!!!

So its very obvious to me and others i am differnt to him..or 'special" in some way but its also obvious that he has major anxiety around me amd i feel thats why he won't do anthing!!!!! Bcuz he knows he couldm't handle a date..i honestly don't think he has ever dated!!!! I know people have tried to set him up in the past and he wouln't even consider it..it was always a NO and thats that!!!


What other reason could there be for his behavior towards me..especially when he is all relaxed and funny with everyone else???

 

[Dave_McFadden]

Ok after reading some of these posts i have decided...

That what you very shy and anxious men are saying is EVEN IF YOU LIKED THE GIRL ALOT, WANTED TO BE WITH HER MORE THAN ANYTHING, WERE CRAZY..MADLY..GOO-GOO EYED IN LOVE WITH HER YOU COULD NEVER EVER TELL HER OR SHOW HER, SO INTURN YOU COULD NEVER PHYSICALLY BE WITH HER!!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even if she approached you and told you she liked you more than anything and really wanted to be with you--wanted to date and be in a relationship with you AS A GIRLFRIEND you still couldn't do anything about it..like say yes to her!!!!!

So in all honesty should we women who like shy guys just give it up and go for someone else???


Be honest. Is there really any hope?

Many people, in spite of their shyness, have a few people that they can be reasonably comfortable ("themselves") around, so just because he's shy doesn't mean he could NEVER ever get comfortable around you as a girlfriend, ever. However...


We all appreciate the fact that you're giving this shy guy a chance, but that doesn't mean you should keep chasing him forever. After all, there a lot of guys out there, even sweet shy ones, who don't require this much coaxing. Even many of the guys on this forum would have "gone for it" if a woman was giving us the signs and hints that you're giving him.

I think that it's great that you like him in spite of his difficulties, but at some point, you need to know once and for all how he feels, for your own mental health. If he says no, then accept his answer and move on. If, deep down, he actually really likes you, but turns you down anyway, because of social whatever, then that's his problem, it doesn't have to stay yours.

I'm starting to get the impression this has been going on a lot longer than I thought. So, before you give up completely, you should start gearing yourself up to ask him out and get his answer once and for all.

 

[JonnyD]

well, i guess that if it's baffling someone , it's because you people don't get the meaning of phobia.

anyway, if his shyness haven't scared you already i don't think you'll be able to shake up it so soon, , and if you accept the fact so readly, well we're in the 21 century , use your last option...

 

[sketchy24]

Depends on their body language. I'm very good at reading people. I can tell if its sincere or not. And if its not or I'm not sure, I would just play along like its a joke and just say yes and just joke and smile about it.

 

[getbornagain]

There is always hope. You just need to make the motherfucker feel like he doesn't have to be "on" or impressive all the time. Very hard to do and easier said than done but there has to be light at the end of the tunnel. Has to.

 

[bleach]

TSS,

>>>
Ok after reading some of these posts i have decided...

That what you very shy and anxious men are saying is EVEN IF YOU LIKED THE GIRL ALOT, WANTED TO BE WITH HER MORE THAN ANYTHING, WERE CRAZY..MADLY..GOO-GOO EYED IN LOVE WITH HER YOU COULD NEVER EVER TELL HER OR SHOW HER, SO INTURN YOU COULD NEVER PHYSICALLY BE WITH HER!!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>>

Like I said in another thread, it is far, far harder to risk rejection with a woman if I care about her for that exact reason. If I care about her, then her rejection would be devastating and I probably wouldn't chance it. A woman i don't care about is much easier.

>>>
Even if she approached you and told you she liked you more than anything and really wanted to be with you--wanted to date and be in a relationship with you AS A GIRLFRIEND you still couldn't do anything about it..like say yes to her!!!!!
>>>

I would say yes. It doesn't take much balls to say yes at that point, after the woman has already put herself out there. I doubt many others would say no in that situation unless they were REALLY bad off with SA.

>>>
So in all honesty should we women who like shy guys just give it up and go for someone else???
>>>


I hope not. I hope you pursue whoever you are attracted to and feel you could be happy with. It's not as if no shy man has ever been in a relationship.

Maybe you try asking him out instead of debating the issue with people on the internet? Otherwise you cannot know and will never know.

 

[eso]

Ok after reading some of these posts i have decided...

So in all honesty should we women who like shy guys just give it up and go for someone else???

Be honest. Is there really any hope?

Dang, well even in my shyest state I would have reacted positively to this kind of thing. But it never happened. I always dreamed that it would, and I always knew that if a girl came up to me and said she liked me was the ONLY way I knew I had any sort of chance at having a relationship.

It baffles me too how lots of guys say they would still run off, but this IS what they call a "phobia". And even if you were safe and sound in an airplane but you were afraid of flying, you'd still be afraid as heck.

So I dunno... if you found a shy guy but he's still shy even after you say you like him.. well if he's going to make it hard there's not much else you can do about it. I mean, you'll never find out if the feeling is mutual, you know? Even if it is, you're powerless unless he pulls out of his phobias.

But obviously if you found a shy guy and did this I'm sure some of them would react positively, so it's not like a thing that ALL shy men have. LIke me when I was in school, I didn't have a full blown phobia, I just had no confidence whatsoever and was super shy. All I needed was a boost in confidence. A girl telling me I was handsome and loved me would be all the confidence I'd need. I probably would have messed it all up back then but it still would have been a positive reaction.

If a girl came up to me NOW, that's a different story. I honestly would flirt right back. I wouldn't even think if it was a joke or not. I would make the conversation as funny and fun as possible because confidence is the only way of getting out of a joke with any face.. and if it wasn't a joke I at least had a positive reaction and a girl who'd want to come back to me.

 

[faithnomore]

Even if she approached you and told you she liked you more than anything and really wanted to be with you--wanted to date and be in a relationship with you AS A GIRLFRIEND you still couldn't do anything about it..like say yes to her!!!!!

I would say "YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!" if a girl I liked said this to me.

ah damn, I would freeze up and be unable to speak. I get embarrased because i feel like they dont really want me. Even if they blatantly do..

 

[Thundra]

shyness?

If he is that shy but you know he likes you i suggest kissing him when you two are alone and see his reaction, seems like you would have to take charge.