All I want is satisfaction.

[Quietguy11]

OK team, I have a problem, and I need serious advice as to what to do. This is kind of off-topic because I don't know what is wrong with me actually. All I know is that I have an issue, and by issue, I mean ISSUE! Let me cut to the chase. I woke up at 4:00pm today and was like, I know! I'll text my friend and see if he wants to watch The Girl Who Leapt Through Time with me at his place, so I went over, we watched it, he enjoyed it, not as much as I enjoyed it though, and then I went home around 10:00pm and felt, I don't know, Unfulfilled with myself. Like I am not seeing the light or something? It's really difficult to explain; sometimes I just feel like no matter what I do, it's not enough. That or I'm not doing enough, and I feel unsatisfied with my lack of productivity. Needless to say, I feel like I'm nonoperational by times, and that I can't function in society, hold a job, advance in school studies... I am confined to my anime, which I love, but it's all I got, and I feel like reality is too hum drum and disappointing to want to adventure in/through. All I want is satisfaction, which anime provides, but it wouldn't hurt to feel important either.

 

[spider04]

I understand what you're saying, I think this has to do with your self-esteem. It's good that you have a friend you can call and go watch a movie with, you should do this more often, try doing different activities too. Anime will not provide you satisfaction forever.

 

[tito_ramos]

Just write. Don't even think about not being important or operational because that's a waste of time (you'll get the feeling and even then it will not fulfill you). My only worry about you is that all you do is watch anime. So I suggest...you write. Unless you can draw. Or you got something else you can develop? This website has a forum place just for that so go ahead. Knock yourself out with it.

 

[Quietguy11]

I have become quite obsessed with anime over the course of just a year. But drawing is actually what got me hooked. I started drawing manga characters and then thought, why not start watching? But the good news is I have been developing my skills as an artist, and do spend a lot of time perfecting it. Today however I haven't been feeling top notch so I haven't been in the mood to watch any anime, which actually depresses me more. Tonight I have a night out with some friends, so we're probably going to watch anime tonight, hopefully. My obsession is worrisome, probably, but I would consider life quite mundane if it wasn't for it.

 

[tito_ramos]

Don't worry about obsessions. We all got one. Just don't let it get in the way of your life. Keep drawing; I think that's pretty cool that you can. Hell, you can probably start your own manga. They've got websites for those starting. I think you should go for it.

 

[Quietguy11]

I was actually thinking of aspiring to become a Manga-ka (Manga artist) in the future, but I'm not even close to being good enough for that yet. I love to write whenever I feel inspired, and think that I could come up with a pretty creative story for a manga if I put enough time and thought into it. For now I'm just going to keep drawing, and hone my skills until I'm ready and prepared to take it to the next level!

 

[tito_ramos]

At least you got a goal so keep it up!

 

[jaim38]

I think what you described had something to do with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs:

Maslow's Hierarchy - Online Leadership Training from MindTools.com

You already have the 3 lowest needs fulfilled (physiological, safety, and social). You have a place to live in, live in a relatively safe country (Canada), and have a friend to hang out with. But you still feel unfulfilled possibly because of the 2 unsatisfied needs: self esteem and self actualization needs. The next step up the ladder is self esteem which entails personal achievements, building confidence and earning respect. It's good that you are building up skills in drawing and have professional goals. Once you develop more confidence in your drawing skills and achieve your professional goals, you will have fulfilled your self esteem needs. Then, after that, it's not over yet becasue there's self actualization needs to fulfill.

 

[Quietguy11]

The heart of my unfulfilled feelings is when I go out, expecting to half enjoy myself, because it's an outing with people that I know personally, and end up at the end of the night feeling worse than I did before I went. Anime and drawing doesn't do that to me, those pleasures relax me, and make me laugh. But not when I am out with friends. And I hate to say that because it sounds like I am ungrateful. But because I can't hold up conversations very well, even if someone speaks to me first, I feel left out and as I've stated above, nonoperational. When I'm by myself, doing what I like to do, there are no unhappy moments, because I'm not setting myself up for any of them. What really discourages me the most about putting myself out there with my friends is how out of sync I feel. I hardly talk, because I struggle knowing what to say because of paralyzing anxiety, and I basically spend the whole night watching everyone else talk to each other while I feel left out and miserable. I am happy that I have anime and art, and I don't want to cut off my friendships, but they are seriously hard to measure up to on a social perspective.