train_in_vain
New member
Hi there everybody. So I'm here because I'm trying to deal with myself and how I am, and hopefully gain some support.
About me: I've always been a shy little boy since forever, I was one of those kids that held on to mommy all day. At puberty I found that I had hyperhidrosis on my hands, which has since really very greatly messed up my sense of self-esteem. Throughout high school I was a nervous wreck. I had some friends, but people had to usually approach me first, or else I would've stayed quiet all day. College was worse, because I went to a very large state school with a million billion people everywhere, and I just felt like such a tiny insignificant thing. You could count on me sitting in the very back of a classroom. I never went to parties, I always found them to be more painfully awkward than fun. I tried so desperately hard to be social, I joined groups and activities, but I always quit after a meeting or two because all the people overwhelmed me. After four years, I never really made any meaningful friendships.
Then I met a girl and moved in with her in New York. She had plenty of friends, so I pretty much depended on her exclusively for any and all social interactions. After about a year she left me, and I suddenly found myself back to square one with so few friends. So here I am in a tiny apartment, alone, in the one of the biggest cities on the planet with all these people around me, and all I can feel is loneliness.
About me: I've always been a shy little boy since forever, I was one of those kids that held on to mommy all day. At puberty I found that I had hyperhidrosis on my hands, which has since really very greatly messed up my sense of self-esteem. Throughout high school I was a nervous wreck. I had some friends, but people had to usually approach me first, or else I would've stayed quiet all day. College was worse, because I went to a very large state school with a million billion people everywhere, and I just felt like such a tiny insignificant thing. You could count on me sitting in the very back of a classroom. I never went to parties, I always found them to be more painfully awkward than fun. I tried so desperately hard to be social, I joined groups and activities, but I always quit after a meeting or two because all the people overwhelmed me. After four years, I never really made any meaningful friendships.
Then I met a girl and moved in with her in New York. She had plenty of friends, so I pretty much depended on her exclusively for any and all social interactions. After about a year she left me, and I suddenly found myself back to square one with so few friends. So here I am in a tiny apartment, alone, in the one of the biggest cities on the planet with all these people around me, and all I can feel is loneliness.
