agitated depression

[Earthcircle]

I have agitated depression, or at least I think that's what it is. I am also very isolated and deeply afraid of people. I think about how much people scare me even when there aren't any people around. I need some kind of solution to this, and I don't believe in therapy. I used to believe in it. In fact, when I was 15 I would sneak in to see a therapist even though my father forbade me to see one. But I'm 47 now, and the faith in therapy cannot be maintained. I am also taking 1500 mg of St. John's wort (Kira) which seems to be doing nothing. I am very frightened and uncomfortable and I want to know what works. Meditation and hypnotism make me feel better but only for very short periods of time, not even 24 hours.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Welcome to the forum, Earthcircle!

I am agoraphobic-- sounds similar to how you describe yourself.
I isolate myself and stay in my room because of my fear of people and severe anxiety.

 

[Earthcircle]

Welcome to the forum, Earthcircle!

I am agoraphobic-- sounds similar to how you describe yourself.
I isolate myself and stay in my room because of my fear of people and severe anxiety.

I literally have nightmares about people getting angry at me or ridiculing me or saying I'm dirty. It's like I can't escape people even in my sleep.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I dream about zombies coming after me and ripping me apart-- every single night.

I was diagnosed with PTSD (for the 3rd time) recently. The doctor who diagnosed me said that my anxiety and agoraphobia stem from that.
Do you maybe have reason to think you have post traumatic stress disorder?

Have you been diagnosed with anything in the past?

 

[Earthcircle]

I dream about zombies coming after me and ripping me apart-- every single night.

I was diagnosed with PTSD (for the 3rd time) recently. The doctor who diagnosed me said that my anxiety and agoraphobia stem from that.
Do you maybe have reason to think you have post traumatic stress disorder?

Have you been diagnosed with anything in the past?

No, but I have a long list of diagnoses and psychiatrists have often contradicted each other, e.g. one emphatically stating that I am not schizoid and another diagnosing me as schizoid, one emphatically stating that I am not Asperger and another saying that I am Asperger. Sometimes when I wake up I have these images of my head being crushed by a blunt object. But that's not PTSD, because that obviously never happened to me.

 

[Earthcircle]

I dream about zombies coming after me and ripping me apart-- every single night.

I was diagnosed with PTSD (for the 3rd time) recently. The doctor who diagnosed me said that my anxiety and agoraphobia stem from that.
Do you maybe have reason to think you have post traumatic stress disorder?

Have you been diagnosed with anything in the past?

It makes me sad that someone in Canada would suffer so much. I used to live there and it seemed that people were a lot happier than in the U.S. I mean, if Canadians suffer then I guess everyone does.

 

[laure15]

Exercise, yoga, and meditation make me feel better but only for short periods of time.
I also stay in a room a lot and do most of my tasks there.
I fear people too, and people are capable of being cruel. Sometimes I get called "coward" or "chicken" for being scared of people.

 

[Earthcircle]

I've changed my mind. Due to the timing of onset, I think the agitation is directly related to my using St. John's wort. I'm having a manic reaction to St. John's wort, and should lower my dose. What's odd though is that, when not having a manic reaction, I'm really depressed. And I'm using Kira which is supposed to be the really good brand of SJW.

 

[Earthcircle]

I wish I knew something that worked. I've started reading 10 Simple Solutions for Building Self-Esteem, but I really don't know.