It's quite interesting and surprising for me to learn that a fair number of people with social anxiety also have intimacy issues.
...Perhaps it is just plain intimacy issues overall.
But, this is not the first time that I've faced substantial emotional difficulties to do with relationships.
When I was in my early twenties -I had a lot of fear and conflict surrounding men and sex.
Now, I'm actually more confident and secure about such issues than the majority -easily. ...so, perhaps I could give some advice-? Maybe. You see,I was hoping that my previous ordeal would provide enough wisdom to deal with this current one; however, I don't seem to have gained enough wisdom to easily sail through my general social anxiety now.
Similar to this, I guess that whatever advice I could offer for this particular issue would not be of the best standard.
Ok, your question was what to do about having a fear of women...?
Actually, the best way might be to recognise this same fear in other people. By this I mean, if you could recontextualise your fear and look at situations from a completely different perception, then you would be less inclined to feel inadequate whenever you felt a bit vulnerable. For example, the ideal would be if you could believe that vanity is the mirror of insecurity -and instead of being persuaded by appearance, you could see into what others put forth for you to see, knowing what is behind it. This means that you aren't taken-in when others put a show of strength and you would not be afraid to appear weak in front of others.
And it also means that you would desire a relationship but would not depend upon one -noone could truly hurt you and few people could manage to trick you, and you would not be fooled into tricking others and have no need to display your power. ...Basically, it is like being a God, you are so sure of who you are that there is no need to prove it nor to 'show' it in anyway on the outside -the inside is your strength and it takes care of the outside.
This means basing your values on what can't be seen -and it is a difficult thing to achieve because you create it from scratch, from nothing.
Well, there really is too much to go into and it is difficult I think to tell you how to make your own journey when you are bound to approach it in a different way -because you will have had different experiences to me. And I'm not wise enough to know how to explain such things to someone who has not had my own individual experience.
But if you could base your sense of what matters not on how things appear and what a person has, but instead on the ability to not need such things -it is the same as recognising vanity and arrogance as insecurity. Then if someone were to reject you you would not feel inadequate or easily hurt -you would recognise the fear and insecurity in them.
