Advice on how to feel at ease

[Shyguest]

Hi,

It doesn't matter how much I try to feel at ease with people, I can't seem to prevent getting nervous and unable to contribute to a conversation in a group. I literally can't go with the flow of the conversation because I am thinking too hard about what I should be saying. This always happens when there is a group.

I can't face people when they come to the house and go and stay in the bedroom until they have left. I feel so guilty and useless.
It doesn't help that I feel depressed and very lonely. I consider myself to be quite different in my interests and things which makes it difficult to for me to be able to feel at ease with people and make friends with them.

Any advice?

 

[Shyguest]

Hi,

How do you do that though? I'm way to insecure to do that and the fear of not been accepted is too great. I start feeling angry with myself when I can't relax and it gets to the point where I literally want to run and hide.

This OCD makes things worse too.

 

[rua2j]

Hi Shyquest

I am a newbie too, and also have had to deal with being extremely shy (don't you love it when people call us "backward") When I was in school I refused to do oral book reports, when I was forced to my face would turn red, my eyes watered, my voice quivered I am a little bit better after years of struggling. what has helped? Not trying to be preachy, but coming to know Jesus, and knowing He accepts me just as I am has helped me alot. Even if other people think I am weird, I know He still loves me and cares about me.

 

[rado31]

I m too shy to think of Jesus

 

[recluse]

I think i give the impression that i am bored when in company, because i worry so much about what i'm going to talk about o'r how i am going to respond to the convo, that my body language and facial expression makes me look pained and bored. I actually have had people asking ''are you bored?''

 

[doogiebklyn]

I think i give the impression that i am bored when in company, because i worry so much about what i'm going to talk about o'r how i am going to respond to the convo, that my body language and facial expression makes me look pained and bored. I actually have had people asking ''are you bored?''

Yeah, I can relate. I am fairly comfortable one on one, but in groups I become very passive. I have gotten in trouble at work as they think I have a bad attitude and body language. So I tried to at least work on that even if I don't say all that much.

I have come to accept that I'm not a natural group person and seek out smaller companies whenever possible. Learning to accept yourself as being different is the real challenge.

Douglas