Acting confidently...

[slicenrice]

I have a lot of trouble acting confidently, even with some of my close friends. I mean, my confidence is really low, and I don't really know how to act to make it seem like it is not, or I feel like a fraud. I usually end up with no respect from people because of this, and I mean this in so many areas. For instance, I am a very smart person (IQ around 130), but people don't respect or acknowledge this, as I have no means of conveying my intelligence to them in a confident manner. I hate the way this is, it makes me feel even less confident!! Does anyone else experience this?

 

[Psychedelicious]

Well, I don't act confident because for some reason it makes me feel selfish. I don't see myself being good at anything because there's always other people who are better. I feel like I shouldn't go out looking for respect while acting confident, but that people should give it to me on their own terms. Do you go around telling people you're a smart person, and what your IQ is and stuff?

 

[Yay4Cats]

I am a very smart person (IQ around 130), but people don't respect or acknowledge this, as I have no means of conveying my intelligence to them in a confident manner. I hate the way this is, it makes me feel even less confident!! Does anyone else experience this?

Wow 130 is pretty high. I'm not THAT smart. I'm pretty sure my IQ was something like 113, but people treat me like I'm a f**king idiot because of my problems. I'm 20 years old and I just got my license to drive. When people heard that I didn't have one they respected me less. They were always on me about it too. "Oh, you STILL didn't get it" They would treat me like a baby. I think when people see something like that they think you are dumb. People who talk clearly seem to be thought of as smart because their ideas seems to be flowing. My ideas never flow in conversation. I'm always pausing to try and find the right words to say. When someone talks slowly and pauses a lot of coarse they are going to look dumb. I don't think there are many chances to show off how smart you are. Most conversation seems very shallow when "normal" people are talking. Maybe bring up something you saw on the History Channel or something. Anyway I don't have the answer, but I can defintely relate.

 

[IWouldPreferNotTo]

I have a lot of trouble acting confidently, even with some of my close friends. I mean, my confidence is really low, and I don't really know how to act to make it seem like it is not, or I feel like a fraud. I usually end up with no respect from people because of this, and I mean this in so many areas. For instance, I am a very smart person (IQ around 130), but people don't respect or acknowledge this, as I have no means of conveying my intelligence to them in a confident manner. I hate the way this is, it makes me feel even less confident!! Does anyone else experience this?

If you expect people to respect or acknowledge that you (think) you're smart, then I probably know why people don't like you. Bragging about your IQ is pathetic. I'm not sure how to get confidence. Take chances, but that can hold you back as well, if you fail. When I'm confident I can be myself.. be funny and outgoing, but usually I'm so worried about what other people think that I can't be myself.

 

[recluse]

Even though i have decent intelligence for some reason my social phobia makes me feel retarded.

 

[slicenrice]

I have a lot of trouble acting confidently, even with some of my close friends. I mean, my confidence is really low, and I don't really know how to act to make it seem like it is not, or I feel like a fraud. I usually end up with no respect from people because of this, and I mean this in so many areas. For instance, I am a very smart person (IQ around 130), but people don't respect or acknowledge this, as I have no means of conveying my intelligence to them in a confident manner. I hate the way this is, it makes me feel even less confident!! Does anyone else experience this?

If you expect people to respect or acknowledge that you (think) you're smart, then I probably know why people don't like you. Bragging about your IQ is pathetic. I'm not sure how to get confidence. Take chances, but that can hold you back as well, if you fail. When I'm confident I can be myself.. be funny and outgoing, but usually I'm so worried about what other people think that I can't be myself.

I think you misunderstand. I never tell anyone about my intelligence or brag about anything that I have, in fact I am very humble. I am just using that to show that I am not stupid, but people treat me like I am sometimes.

 

[sketchy24]

Even though i have decent intelligence for some reason my social phobia makes me feel retarded.

Ditto... It doesn't help that everyone at work talks to me like I'm a little kid and all "fake nice". I wake up and I feel all good and confident and I get to work and it like my confidence fell out on the walk over. Oh well...

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

Most highly intelligent people are really prone to social problems...

One thing is: They are too intelligent that people become intimidated with them

Two: Some intelligent people have a kind of hobby or manners or actions that might look weird for other people, which they perceive as uncool or geeky

Three: They are too intelligent that they have difficulty in leveling with the minds of the average minded people

Four: They are so intelligent that they feel so superior from others and thus they become conceited, which people doesn't like

or

Five: They are so aware with their intelligence and they feel that it could become a hindrance to having social relationship so they become too humble... too humble that they gradually lack confidence and thus also results to lack of respect from other people


The reason why people don't respect you (as what you said it was)... might be because of either of those five reasons.. think about it

 

[Raveno]

thats a problem right there, you can't act confidence, from what i've been through, it just adds to the problem, appearing confident is being confident, not acting..don't know if I made sense, or if i'm right..but thats what I think

 

[IWouldPreferNotTo]

Even though i have decent intelligence for some reason my social phobia makes me feel retarded.

:lol: True that.

 

[IWouldPreferNotTo]

I have a lot of trouble acting confidently, even with some of my close friends. I mean, my confidence is really low, and I don't really know how to act to make it seem like it is not, or I feel like a fraud. I usually end up with no respect from people because of this, and I mean this in so many areas. For instance, I am a very smart person (IQ around 130), but people don't respect or acknowledge this, as I have no means of conveying my intelligence to them in a confident manner. I hate the way this is, it makes me feel even less confident!! Does anyone else experience this?

If you expect people to respect or acknowledge that you (think) you're smart, then I probably know why people don't like you. Bragging about your IQ is pathetic. I'm not sure how to get confidence. Take chances, but that can hold you back as well, if you fail. When I'm confident I can be myself.. be funny and outgoing, but usually I'm so worried about what other people think that I can't be myself.

I think you misunderstand. I never tell anyone about my intelligence or brag about anything that I have, in fact I am very humble. I am just using that to show that I am not stupid, but people treat me like I am sometimes.

Ok. Sorry, then.

 

[coriander1992]

I try to observe people who are confident and act as they do. Not arrogant people, but those who are quietly confident and happy with themselves.

You can learn a lot by casually people watching

If you have intelligence on your side, as you do, then you have to work out how to use it to your advantage. Being smart can intimiadate people, so you have to be clever about how you use your intelligence.
How you do this totally depends on who you are with and what situation you are in; again, observing other people would help with this.

Now I sound like a freak who just sits around spying on people all the time :lol:

 

[Nic_ohyes]

how about acting like you? rather than someone your not. you can be quitely confident ya know.

i think its easy for people to think being loud, cocky, eccentic is being confident, correct me if im wrong, but the true meaning of confidence is that you trust yourself in any situation, you trust the tools you have to get you where you wanna go.

people think i am confident because i am very open about what i think and i say the things that maybe shouldnt be said, but that doesnt mean if i say... see a job advertised that i like i wont think to myself 'oh ill never get that!' and thats me saying to myself i havent got the confidence to think i would have a chance, if ya get me. were all confident in different ways, may that be about our abilities or anything else! for example your confident in your intellegance.

i think, and correct me if im wrong, you mean you would like to be more open about who you and what your thinking to other people?

 

[Dave_McFadden]

I think you misunderstand. I never tell anyone about my intelligence....

Good. Don't start telling them. No one wants to hear how high your IQ is.

Sorry I don't have a better answer than this, but definitely DON'T mention your IQ to anyone you want to impress.

 

[CPA23]

There are times when I am confident, but I just don't want to come across as someone who is arrogant!! (Typical SA thinking). For example, I am a muscular man. When I go out in public, I sometimes wear my tank top. This might seem silly, but sometimes I feel like I'm being a show-off when I do this. I see many other people wearing tank-tops, but I still feel like I'm being a show-off. When I went to to gas station the other day this lady said, "You're gonna start a riot with those big guns of yours" For some reason I felt so undeserving of the "compliment" and actually kinda ashamed. I wish I could stop thinking like this!!

 

[Atlantis]

Man, if you are putting yourself so high only because an IQ test or tests, whatever, which said you had a 130 IQ.....


IQ means nothing... in fact it represents a complete misunterstand of what the word intelligence means. That is like those college teachers who think they know something because they have a major degree, but they get confused while answering basic questions about their own discipline.


If you want to deal with people, do not go on stating you are extremely intelligent. If you wanna them to see your qualities, don't tell them that, wait for them to see it.... just show how you are(what I know it is hard for who has SA) and let them take their conclusions without expecting compliments or feedback from them.