Absolutely Terrified of attending college

lally

lally

Active member
Hi,
I'm only 16, but I've been fretting over college since I was 14 years old. I don't think I'll be prepared academically in a year, nor do I think I'll be prepared mentally to be away from my mom and brother. Also, the whole idea of college isn't that appealing to me, there are some parts of it I think would be great. There are so many things about that turn me off.

Just thinking about attending is the scariest thing I can think of. I get so fucking scared and anxious. My heart started beating faster and it skips, and my stomach starts hurting and I feel so overwhelmed. How do I stop this? How do I stop being so scared about every aspect of everything?

The only thing I got going for me is that I know what I want to major in. And what I'd like to do as a job in the future. And I have common sense (woo.)

I don't think a day goes by where I'm not worrying about it. I'd really like to do an online college, it seems less stressful. But I feel like if I do it online people will think less of me, I know my dad will. My friend is going to a University next year, and I feel like I should follow suit.

Why does this scare me so bad? While every other kid is just going with the motions. I'm so afraid that I may not like it and I'm going to regret going, and I'll probably regret not sticking with it if I drop out. I wish I could fast forward time to when I'm like 25. Get passed all this highschool and college BS.

I'm so afraid of the unknown, I don't know what to expect in college. I don't know what the expect when I'm living alone. I know I'm probably exacerbating things, but I can't stop it!

God I just hope there are others out there feeling the same way. I need some reassurance or advice, or just anything. My mom doesn't understand what I'm going through, no one in my family does. I feel like if I don't go to college I'll be throwing away my life. People say I have potential, but I lack the slightest bit of confidence in anything I do.

I don't know if I'm posting this in the right place. If I am, I am sorry.

Help.. please.
:cry:
 
Lewis

Lewis

Member
I don't think there's anything wrong with doing an online course...if you really don't feel up for doing the real thing, then maybe you're not ready yet....which is fine....everybody's different......challenges are good, but you don't wanna set the bar too high that you can't reach it.

On the other hand, if you feel like giving it a shot at attempting to reach this bar, then here's some tips;

I'd try breaking all your fears down into bitesize chunks. Try to write out and organise exactly everything you're worried about. Will you be leaving home? are you financially worried? Are you moving to a different town? is there anyone you know going with you? Are you worried what people will think of you? Does the course worry you at all?

write them all out then focus on one at a time and figure out if it's irrational or not. Figure out if there's anything you can do to ease the problem. If so....do it. If not, then let it go.

If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today. ~E. Joseph Cossman
 
I

IknowIhaveSP

Well-known member
Hi, you should attend to college. Please dont prefer online courses. You have to do it. You have to defeat that anxiety and it's good reason to start with. You're so young it's not time to fear. You'll be so regret when you get older and look back. Hope you'll give the best decision for yourself.
 
Caseums21

Caseums21

Well-known member
I agree with lally. Even if you don't want to move, you could go to a community college, take a few classes and then go to a major college. Don't hide from your fears.

I'm 23 and I had major anxiety for a few years. I was in the Air Force and now planning on going to college about 2 hours away from my home. Trust me, I'm scared but it's something I have to do. You are not the only college student to get anxiety and just keep telling yourself that.

Good luck with your future. I'm sure everything will work out for you. Just remember not to hide from your fears but to face them head on.
 
Depressed4life

Depressed4life

Banned
hey..

I am 16 as well and i will start college in august...i am scare!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i don't want to go out!! I won't be able to speak in class or act normal.
 
livingnsilence

livingnsilence

Well-known member
You should go to college. If you have a tech college other college near by you could live at home and still go. But I suggest you go to a college that is not to big or too small (between 3,000-8,000 students). Live on campus and try to join a sorority. It's going to be very stressfull the first month or so on campus but you'll adjust and it'll be well worth it. Rushing for a sorority will help to, even though going through recruitment will be like the most stressful week of your life it'll give you a lot to do and it's a great way to meet people and make friends. I have severe SA and though it's worse now than it was in high school, I don't regret at all going away to college. However without the sorority I probably would because my sisters are the only people I ever hang out with.
 
Barnum

Barnum

Well-known member
lally said:
Hi,
I'm only 16, but I've been fretting over college since I was 14 years old. I don't think I'll be prepared academically in a year, nor do I think I'll be prepared mentally to be away from my mom and brother. Also, the whole idea of college isn't that appealing to me, there are some parts of it I think would be great. There are so many things about that turn me off.

Just thinking about attending is the scariest thing I can think of. I get so fucking scared and anxious. My heart started beating faster and it skips, and my stomach starts hurting and I feel so overwhelmed. How do I stop this? How do I stop being so scared about every aspect of everything?

The only thing I got going for me is that I know what I want to major in. And what I'd like to do as a job in the future. And I have common sense (woo.)

I don't think a day goes by where I'm not worrying about it. I'd really like to do an online college, it seems less stressful. But I feel like if I do it online people will think less of me, I know my dad will. My friend is going to a University next year, and I feel like I should follow suit.

Why does this scare me so bad? While every other kid is just going with the motions. I'm so afraid that I may not like it and I'm going to regret going, and I'll probably regret not sticking with it if I drop out. I wish I could fast forward time to when I'm like 25. Get passed all this highschool and college BS.

I'm so afraid of the unknown, I don't know what to expect in college. I don't know what the expect when I'm living alone. I know I'm probably exacerbating things, but I can't stop it!

God I just hope there are others out there feeling the same way. I need some reassurance or advice, or just anything. My mom doesn't understand what I'm going through, no one in my family does. I feel like if I don't go to college I'll be throwing away my life. People say I have potential, but I lack the slightest bit of confidence in anything I do.

I don't know if I'm posting this in the right place. If I am, I am sorry.

Help.. please.
:cry:
Click to expand...
I can relate to all of that. My anxiety forced me out of college after a couple of months, and I'm looking at a third attempt to get back in the saddle next fall.

That said, I wouldn't be where I am today with regards to my anxiety if I weren't at least trying to go to college. It's a rocky path to a better future, but I know I'll come out at the other end much, much stronger than those lucky bastards who get everything right on the first attempt. :D
 
Blue_Scholar

Blue_Scholar

Member
I know what you mean about being terrified of college. I put off applying until the very last minute (I tend to procrastinate on every single thing I do anyway, until I realize how detrimental not doing something would be, then I do it...) Fortunately it was never an option for me to skip college, simply by how my parents raised me, expectations for myself, etc. So here is my two cents about going to college:

1. You need the degree to get good jobs, develop character, and learn things that high school doesn't teach. So don't psych yourself out about not going. :) Start looking for colleges that interest you now, at your own pace, so that it's not stressful and anxiety-inducing in your senior year.

2. Try living in the dorms your first year in order to meet people. The social aspects of dorm life were extremely uncomfortable for me, but I survived and did make a few very good friends out of it that are great supports for me to this day. Look for people who are friendly, respectful and non-judgmental. Sometimes I got teased for refusing to go to parties, but my friends let me know that was ok and invited me to do other things I was comfortable with instead. Also, find out where your classmates plan on going to college. Though none of my close high school friends went to my college, I actually met up with some acquaintances from high school that ended up becoming close friends, which made the transition much easier.

3. Choose a small liberal arts college. Everyone recommended I go to one, but I was terrified of being in small classes with professors and classmates. I thought it would be better to go to a large university where I could hide anonymously in a large lecture hall and hopefully meet like-minded people by being exposed to a greater population of students. Wrong! Though it was convenient to hide in large classes, I did not make the valuable connections with professors that I regret not developing, plus it very difficult to meet people when anonymous among thousands. I found that many people had their own social lives outside of school, so they were not as interested in getting to know the random person sitting next to them. PLUS, classes shrink from lecture sized to small seminar sized as you advance, so I eventually ended up getting the same exposure to small classes I would have at a small school anyway. Only I didn't have the added bonus of being friends with my classmates and professors at that point. I found that it was much easier to speak in front of a group of 15 people I felt comfortable with, rather than a lecture hall of 400 strangers, which was probably one of the most terrifying experiences of my entire life...So, hind sight being 20/20, I recommend that you go to a small liberal arts college where people will be friendly, welcoming and supportive. My friends who went to those colleges had the time of their life, traveling to Europe together, etc.

4. Don't worry about not knowing which major to pick or career path to take. Almost no one knows for sure during their freshman year, and there is a reason why colleges are now limiting how many years you can go without declaring a major... You can switch majors as many times as you like, as long as you have the money to keep taking classes. Some schools don't make you declare a major until your junior year, and by that time you will have taken a variety of classes that will help you decide what you enjoy studying. By just taking random classes I was interested in, I ended up satisfying the requirements for an interdisciplinary degree that I didn't even know existed until someone told me about it! They have counselors available to help you do things like that.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk about it some more. :)
 
Copache

Copache

Member
Hey, I'm 17 and I recently got accepted into a college that I wanted to go to (still waiting for other acceptances/rejections) anyways I have SA so bad that I only applied to colleges that didn't require interviews and teacher recommendations, forget about that. However, I am actually looking forward to going to college. I can't wait to get out of high school. Anyways good luck dude.
 
txjeepin

txjeepin

Member
LALLY i posted in your thread on depression forum.

I am in college right now (1st year) let me give you some advice

1. Always face your fear. I know it seems like a daunting task to go but later in life you will regret not experiencing college. Don't take online courses. Get a dorm mate. I know that may be scary, but that is one mistake i made. Right now i feel separate from most of my school mates because they share the commonality of living together. You don't want to be an outsider in college it will only progress your depression.

2. Always say hi to people in your classes and on campus. People are very receptive to a smile and a "hey". It will get you so far in the social world. When you are quiet or do not look at people they naturally don't recognize you. When you give someone eye contact and assure them that you are friendly/willing to talk they will almost always will come up to you and try to befriend you. College is waaaaay different than High School. 90% of the people there are mature and do not care how you look. I have found that people just want someone to talk to in college. they aren't even caring how you look/act.

3. What could possibly happen if you went to college? Social anxiety is shrouding your real character. Don't let it cover you up and hold you back. 100% of the time people with sa blow situations way out of proportion. I found that if you jump right in to horrible situations they don't seem so horrible anymore. Everyone gets used to repetition and you will get used to meeting people.

4. If you don't make friends in your first semester, big deal. You have 3.5 more semseters to go. Never let the negative overcome the positive. Keep telling yourself that things will get better. Don't get down on yourself just think of ow unproductive that will be.

5. Take your fear and throw it in the trash can. Things are not so bad. I used to be so afraid of high school, college. so much so that i became very self-conscious about how i looked/acted/talked. Thinking about your fear only makes it larger than it really is.

6. I may have said this b4 but if you feel like you don't know how to talk to others or make friends dont worry cause i have some advice. people love nice people. always offer help if you feel others need it. being quiet is not a bad thing. as long as you greet others, have simple conversations, friendships build over time. NEVER LET YOURSELF E ABSOLUTELY QUIET. SAY HELLLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
platinumct44

platinumct44

Member
im about to attend college too and the though of meeting new people is pretty scary. My brother went to college b4 me and he suffers from social anxiety disorder and he still says college is a blast. Even though it sucks thinking about it the time will come and it will be over with and u should feel a little more relaxed after college starts or atleast thats what im hoping will happen
 
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