A Thought About Moving Ahead

[Honda]

Now I believe I see the big picture.. I am writing this, maybe some of you might find it something worth thinking of..
I reached a conclusion that I am the one keeping myself behind and not letting myself go.. I have lived almost all my life, knowing I have a huge fear, anxiety, lack of confidence and low self esteem.. The fact I have these symptoms and giving up to them is the reason I am here now and the fact I used to pretend I am a different person..
I feel lonely, depressed, scared, confused, angry about it and am not taking the right initiative to do something about it.. I always find it easy to make myself feel worthless and hard to drive myself forward.. I got to understand things much much much better than ever earlier this year because for the 1st time in my life I took the right steps probably or at least the right baby steps to move against the tide and do something about it.. Yet still find It hard to believe in myself whatsoever as if the feeling of incompetence is fused deep inside my head.. In the end of the day, the thing I should be fighting is my negative emotions more than anything else, im tired of pushing myself downwards while I want to go up..
As soon as I get a job and get a steady pay I will start using this money to transform my life to a whole new phase.. No more bull**** and no more bitching... I am reading alot of informative books to help me in my career and life that could get me on a straight track for now and I want to start trying to have some discipline in my life which i dont have..

 

[EscapeArtist]

Now I believe I see the big picture.. I am writing this, maybe some of you might find it something worth thinking of..
I reached a conclusion that I am the one keeping myself behind and not letting myself go.. I have lived almost all my life, knowing I have a huge fear, anxiety, lack of confidence and low self esteem.. The fact I have these symptoms and giving up to them is the reason I am here now and the fact I used to pretend I am a different person..
I feel lonely, depressed, scared, confused, angry about it and am not taking the right initiative to do something about it.. I always find it easy to make myself feel worthless and hard to drive myself forward.. I got to understand things much much much better than ever earlier this year because for the 1st time in my life I took the right steps probably or at least the right baby steps to move against the tide and do something about it.. Yet still find It hard to believe in myself whatsoever as if the feeling of incompetence is fused deep inside my head.. In the end of the day, the thing I should be fighting is my negative emotions more than anything else, im tired of pushing myself downwards while I want to go up..
As soon as I get a job and get a steady pay I will start using this money to transform my life to a whole new phase.. No more bull**** and no more bitching... I am reading alot of informative books to help me in my career and life that could get me on a straight track for now and I want to start trying to have some discipline in my life which i dont have..

Good for you! This is a grand realization. If you want it enough, you shall have it. It's all about learning to feel the want, and then learning to trust yourself enough to reach it.

 

[coyote]

awesome!

it doesn't do us any good to stay where we are

keep doing the next right thing

even if they're baby steps, at least we're moving forward

 

[Honda]

I remember when my phobia and fear of people was much greater back in the days, i used to find it hard to hang out with more confident guys and females. I used to sometimes go to the bathroom and sit there to take a breath cuz I feel so anxious and nervous while hanging out with them... I came to a conclusion, to the fact that no matter what you do, you will get nervous among other people because you feel they are better than you in something.. There's no shame in that i believe but It means you have to be inspired to become better than them..
Ive been reading self help books and I found out that they wont help you at all unless you start feeling confident about yourself & experiencing is more useful that studying about things..
I believe that whenever i feel anxious, i should walk away take a breath think about it for a while and then walk back in..
I noticed that no matter how much you experience a situation if you dont have the confidence to venture into it with more guts, the less likely it would change you..