a terrible party

[Falkor]

at old years eve i went to a party with a guy i know
i never go to parties so i was terribly anxious
at the party the people they said nothing to me
all night i was staring at the people and felt awful
so at a later time i just decided to run away and thought i'd commit suicide
but someone went looking for me
i cried and called my mom and she said ''YOU SHOULD JUST PARTY DON'T BE AFRAID OF PEOPLE'' i said that's the problem and i will never cure
i get so mad lately for sa and depression that the anger gets out of control
i tried 5 therapies and they all didn't help
i'm complex and i'm made to live a horror life

 

[Feathers]

Sorry to hear about the bad party

Maybe try to meet other people with whom you'd have more to say elsewhere - eg at a course or workshop or something? If you got to know them elsewhere it would be easier to have something to talk about at a party too?