eckoz
Active member
I have been in a rut for the last 3 years. I have done virtually nothing but play video games and smoke weed. Every day, for 16+ hours.
Im 19,
and dropped out of school at 16 ( not really dropped out, i actually started homeschooling immediately after i left public school) because i started getting anxiety from hanging out with friends, i didnt know why but im sure it was to do with smoking weed before school, at lunch and after school every day with my so called friends. Eventually the paranoid feeling that some people get while being stoned at school started to stick permenently. SO i left school to do homeschooling, which i did extremely half assed. Im talking about going months of doing nothing before i even do one assignment. I have been on one course for 9 months. Basically because all i wanna do is whats easy. and thats wake up, smoke a bit of weed to feel good, then play video games for the entire day, avoiding my true responsibilities..even now 3 years later, after quitting school i get anxiety in my stomache that i cannot control over certain situations. I never used to get this feeling before
Basically i have been getting really tired of sitting home doing nothing, and becoming a boring person with nothing to talk about to anyone. So i made a plan that i am absolutely determined to stick to , to get my life on track.
Disclaimer: This plan is highly personal, therefor you will not understand everything in it. The majority you will understand though. The reason i am posting it is to get some feedback on what people think of it and maybe some ways to improve it.
I am aware there is massive amounts of spelling/gramatical errors so please dont judge me on that.
i typed the entire thing in notepad, so there is no spell check, i am a lazy fast typer, and i like to shoot ideas off the top of my head really fast, i do however proofread to make sure it doesnt sound COMPLETELY retarded.
|-----------------------|
|My Absolute final plan | <Insert name here>. December 27th, 2008.
|-----------------------|
I obviously have no hope of gaining any type of confidence or assets to boost confidence(job, car, girlfriend, money, new friends)
before the winter break. (2 weeks from now)
So i have devised a plan that I will stick to for an entire month. I know If i stick to this plan for an entire month, doing it
every single day, even fridays and weekends, by the time winter break is over, I will be physically and mentally fit,
and also self confident enough to get a job, and start leaving the house every day and ultimately start rebuilding my life,
on the first of January.
On the flip side, if i cant stick to this plan, then i know i will never be able to have the self motivation to do anything i want.
Because i badly want to be able to follow this plan, and if i cant even at this desperate stage in my life.... then i dont know..
Another reason I wrote this plan is so my family is no longer in the dark about what i plan on doing with my life. So they
no longer have to see me doing nothing day in and day out , wondering if i will ever change.
I do intend to make something of myself, I do want to be a sociable, likeable person, and i don't want to sit home every day
anymore.
I am 19 now
it is not to late to turn things around though it feels like its getting damn near close to the point of no return. However,
I do not want to feel pity for myself, or depressed, so i will remain positive, but that has to do with the plan, so here it is.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
There are several main topics for my plan, each with various subtopics and details. Here are the main Topics.
There is no particular order.
1.Excersize
2.Intelligence
3.Anti drug habits
4.School
5.Proper diet
6.Social life/skills (The plan is designed so after a month this category will be much easier)
7.Video Games ( moderating how many hours per day, and not just playing endless hours)
8.Overall atitude / personality.
Now, i will break down each topic into every last detail of what I plan to do for that topic, every day.
=============================================================================================================================
Excersize
=============================================================================================================================
1. Two 30 minute running sessions every day on my treadmill or outside. For the first Week, i might have to make the sessions
20 minutes to start,due to being incredibly out of shape,but absolutely nothing less then 20 minutes, and must be doing 30 minute
sessions after 1 full week of my plan.
2. 150 pushups and situps every day. Pretty basic, simple, and easy. Reps of 25 to start, working on towards 30, then 40, as the
weeks go by. Make sure to do these properally and not half assed like i usually do. (only going half way up on a situp)
3.Do my Posture/spine/back stretches that i got from my physio therapist, every day. All of these are written on a sheet of paper,
and there is no point of explaining each one individually.
4. Other various stretching/ spine lengthening excersizes i have found online, in hopes to grow a slightly taller, if that is
at all possible.
5. 50 leg lifts on each leg. (The kind mom does LOL)
6. 25 pull ups, or large dunbell reps. (The 2hander in the garage)
7. Will possibly add more into routine , if I feel like doing steps 1-6 is becoming to easy.
=============================================================================================================================
Intelligence
=============================================================================================================================
From what ive heard, In order for your brain to function to the best of its ability properlly on a daily basis, you must have
had an adequate ammount of sleep the previous night. There for, the first part of this section has to do with my sleeping schedule
1. Will be in bed trying to fall asleep at 11:30. I will watch tv for a maximum of 1 hour, during this time i will not be focusing
on the tv program but concentrating on trying to get myself tired so i can fall asleep fast. I can no longer sleep without watching
Tv first to get tired, however that is also something i am willing to improve on. Though its not the most important thing in the
world. Everyone has their own methods for falling asleep and as long as i have one i think i am fine.
2. Will set alarm clock for 7:55am so i can be out of bed by 8 oclock every morning.
3.Will eat a nutritious type breakfast every day (This will be covered and much further detailed in the "proper diet" section)
4. Will spend AT LEAST 20 minutes per day reading the newspaper, ideally as i enjoy my breakfast. However, i would like to try and
read the entire newspaper every day (if time permits) excluding the extremely boring, irrelevant articles of course.Though i
really should just read it all, and make a goal of reading the entire paper every day, and time how long it takes me, then try to
improve that time. All these things are optional however the 20 minutes is MANDITORY. Absolutely nothing less.
5.Will actively read a novel (a very challenging one) for 30 minutes or more every day. Outside of all schoolwork,
or any such work-type reading, I will select my own personal novel and actively read for my own enjoyment for at least 30 minutes
a day. Like before, reading more then 30 minutes is fine, but absolutely nothing less then 30.
==============================================================================================================================
Anti drug habits
==============================================================================================================================
1. Will use every ounce of will I have to fight the urge to smoke weed or drink. These two drugs have really made me mentally
stupid, obviously weed has alot more , due to smoking every day... and only drinking ocasionally but still. Alchohol is no better.
2. Will go out with friends to do things other then smoke weed or drink. This will be hard at first, but i think after a few weeks
of not smoking it will become easier. Just need to find productive/ fun things to do that dont involve drugs. Casino is one option
though that could lead to another addiction in itself, not to mention i dont have any money of my own to gamble with so i would
basically be borrowing money from my friends. Another option is biking or swimming. or just anything productive.
3. Any time i feel like smoking or even think about doing it i will immediately do 25 pushups and 25 situps,
(on top of my regular routine)
4.Any time i get offered to go smoke with friends i will straight up tell them i've quit, no bullshit.
================================================================================================================================
School
================================================================================================================================
1.(GENERAL ROUTINE)
After my morning routine of eating,reading, and then showering, i will comence with my homeschooling no later then 9:30. I will
then work a solid 2 and a half hours with ZERO distractions or getting up. After this 2 and a half hour session, I will do my first
30 minute run at 12 oclock lunch time, followed by my lunch meal. after my 30 minute run and lunch, it should be close to 1:00
at which time I will commence into another 2 hour session of schoolwork with no distractions and no getting up. After this
Ill take a small 20 minute break in which time i will do some form of excerisize or stretching. After the 20 minute break,
i will commence the final 2 hour session of school work, which will take me to about 5:30-6:00 oclock. At which time parents
should be getting home.
2. The main goal here is to train myself into being able to sit and focus and do work when i need to. Not when i feel like it, which
is what i have been doing for the passed 2 years. Also another key component to this is when im in those 2 hour blocks of working,
to focus my absolute hardest on not getting distracted. I have to really focus hard on catching myself when my mind starts to
wander. I have to be very quick about catching the first thoughts of my mind wandering, in order to not waste time, and also to
train my brain to be more disciplined.
3.The overall goal here of following this school routine so strictly is to build discipline. I'll admit i have absolutely none
as it stands , but in order to get anyhwere in life, it is something that is required. So therefor i will work my hardest to build
my brains discipline for staying on task.
4. AS far as what Will be done when its tough to say. I have the rest of my english course to finish, then mathematics , then i
can graduate. Thats 1 and a half courses untill im fully graduated. (not alot at all) The english is half done thats why i say
one and a half. If i am actually doing 6 solid hours of school work per day, then I am sure i will be fully graduated no later
then the end of January. And english will DEFFINATELY be done before the end of december.
5. Will start to work on serious ideas for careers, and plans for college, in writing. As of right now i really can't say What i
would want to do for a career for the rest of my life, but i do want to start brain storming ideas of things i possibly want to
look into.
============================================================================================================================
Diet
============================================================================================================================
In order to start working towards getting physically healthy ( and mentally) I must start eating ONLY healthy and nutritous
meals and snacks. Absolutely no more terrible processed foods like microwave dinners and shit. That shit is terrible. No
more frozen convienent foods like pizza pops, or microwavable dorritos or just anything like that. From now on it all about
pure and healthy foods.
1. 6-8 Large glasses of water EVERY day.
2. 3-4 Decent sized snacks of vegatables such as carrots, apples, salads or anything similar to that. Eat plenty of fibre and
ruffage EVERY DAY, DO NOT MISS ONE DAY.
3. Drink plenty of fruit juices and other health type drinks like tomato juice or pommegranete juice or just other shit like that
4.Avoid any thing that is even close to resembling junkfood at all costs
5. For dinner, Try to eat lots of lean meats such as chicken and fish, while eating much less red meats like steak.
6. For breakfast and throughout the day make sure to eat LOTS of protein. Eggs for breakfast, yogurt,peanut butter, anything
healthy like that that has good protein value.
7. Try not to induldge in massive ammounts of carbohydrates all at once like eating a huge box of crackers or numerous slices of
bread. Of course eating carbs is a neccesity but my point is to not over induldge in them.
8.Read up more on diet online, and find out some solid healthy menus that i can use every day.This is just a starting guideline.
============================================================================================================================
Social Life/ Skills
============================================================================================================================
So basically I cannot hope to obtain any type of decent social life by sitting home. I understand i MUST leave the house just to
have basic social interaction every day in order to become a more social person, first starting with a job. I WILL NOT become
more social by sitting home by myself talking to no-one for 8 hours straight every day. However, this plan is designed to make
socializing alot easier in a months time from now. I know I will be at home for the next month,
but the point is to get myself looking
how i want through excersize, and also to become more intelligent and better at conversing through reading and other brain
chellenging methods.
Both of these things will make getting a job
and socializing with people a LOT easier in a months time. Part of the reason I hate going out and even holding conversations with
people is because i hate how i look ultimately. I used to be fit, in shape , decent looking, and now im just puffy faced and out
of shape completely. I know this sounds retarded but i dont like my face, not because of what it phsyically looks like, or the
facial features i was given,
but because of how i remember what i used to look like 3 years ago, and i remember being satisfied with how i looked.
for the last 2 years
i have been far less then satisfied with how i look.I pray that if i excersize strictly for a months time,i will look how i used
to before, and ultimately to just be satisfied with walking out into the world every day with a decent looking face that i can
be proud of, not a hideous fat face that i want to hide.
============================================================================================================================
Video Games
============================================================================================================================
Yes I will be drastically cutting down the ammount of hours which i waste away gaming. I had a sort of epiphinany and that was
I realised
I am not building any type of social skills when im by myself playing video games. As fun as it is, ( and yea video games are
fucking awsome, especially when high), i would much rather spend my time building up social skills and interacting with others,
to become overall a more interesting person.I dont want to be a boring person with nothing to say, and i fear this will be the
case if i continue to spend 10 hours a day playing video games.
I will limit my gaming to after a full day of school work or on weekends.
And even after a full day of school work i will no longer Play games from 6pm-1am like i used to. I will play a maximum of 3 hours.
That means from 6-12 i spend half the time gaming, and the other half doing something else like excersize , more school work, or
interacting with the family.
So to recap.
1. 3 hours of video games on workdays maximum.
2. Weekend should be free to do what i want , though as i have stated, i dont want to be spending my entire day gaming, when i
could be out trying to get a life.
=============================================================================================================================
Overall Attitude
=============================================================================================================================
Not much to say here other then i want to try my best to remain in a positive happy state of mind. i will try hard to
Not be a dick to anyone in the family, ever, and just try my best to not lose my temper, and remain in a good mood, despite
any negative things that come my way. (from others in the family, or friends)
This plan will go into effect on the 29th of december. It is massive and completely not like anything i have ever done (if i
follow through for longer then 1 day) Therefor i need 2 days to prepare myself, and that will leave the plan to start right near
the start of december. And continue on till the very end. A full month. Like i said in the beggining.
The End
Im 19,
and dropped out of school at 16 ( not really dropped out, i actually started homeschooling immediately after i left public school) because i started getting anxiety from hanging out with friends, i didnt know why but im sure it was to do with smoking weed before school, at lunch and after school every day with my so called friends. Eventually the paranoid feeling that some people get while being stoned at school started to stick permenently. SO i left school to do homeschooling, which i did extremely half assed. Im talking about going months of doing nothing before i even do one assignment. I have been on one course for 9 months. Basically because all i wanna do is whats easy. and thats wake up, smoke a bit of weed to feel good, then play video games for the entire day, avoiding my true responsibilities..even now 3 years later, after quitting school i get anxiety in my stomache that i cannot control over certain situations. I never used to get this feeling before
Basically i have been getting really tired of sitting home doing nothing, and becoming a boring person with nothing to talk about to anyone. So i made a plan that i am absolutely determined to stick to , to get my life on track.
Disclaimer: This plan is highly personal, therefor you will not understand everything in it. The majority you will understand though. The reason i am posting it is to get some feedback on what people think of it and maybe some ways to improve it.
I am aware there is massive amounts of spelling/gramatical errors so please dont judge me on that.
i typed the entire thing in notepad, so there is no spell check, i am a lazy fast typer, and i like to shoot ideas off the top of my head really fast, i do however proofread to make sure it doesnt sound COMPLETELY retarded.
|-----------------------|
|My Absolute final plan | <Insert name here>. December 27th, 2008.
|-----------------------|
I obviously have no hope of gaining any type of confidence or assets to boost confidence(job, car, girlfriend, money, new friends)
before the winter break. (2 weeks from now)
So i have devised a plan that I will stick to for an entire month. I know If i stick to this plan for an entire month, doing it
every single day, even fridays and weekends, by the time winter break is over, I will be physically and mentally fit,
and also self confident enough to get a job, and start leaving the house every day and ultimately start rebuilding my life,
on the first of January.
On the flip side, if i cant stick to this plan, then i know i will never be able to have the self motivation to do anything i want.
Because i badly want to be able to follow this plan, and if i cant even at this desperate stage in my life.... then i dont know..
Another reason I wrote this plan is so my family is no longer in the dark about what i plan on doing with my life. So they
no longer have to see me doing nothing day in and day out , wondering if i will ever change.
I do intend to make something of myself, I do want to be a sociable, likeable person, and i don't want to sit home every day
anymore.
I am 19 now
it is not to late to turn things around though it feels like its getting damn near close to the point of no return. However,
I do not want to feel pity for myself, or depressed, so i will remain positive, but that has to do with the plan, so here it is.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
There are several main topics for my plan, each with various subtopics and details. Here are the main Topics.
There is no particular order.
1.Excersize
2.Intelligence
3.Anti drug habits
4.School
5.Proper diet
6.Social life/skills (The plan is designed so after a month this category will be much easier)
7.Video Games ( moderating how many hours per day, and not just playing endless hours)
8.Overall atitude / personality.
Now, i will break down each topic into every last detail of what I plan to do for that topic, every day.
=============================================================================================================================
Excersize
=============================================================================================================================
1. Two 30 minute running sessions every day on my treadmill or outside. For the first Week, i might have to make the sessions
20 minutes to start,due to being incredibly out of shape,but absolutely nothing less then 20 minutes, and must be doing 30 minute
sessions after 1 full week of my plan.
2. 150 pushups and situps every day. Pretty basic, simple, and easy. Reps of 25 to start, working on towards 30, then 40, as the
weeks go by. Make sure to do these properally and not half assed like i usually do. (only going half way up on a situp)
3.Do my Posture/spine/back stretches that i got from my physio therapist, every day. All of these are written on a sheet of paper,
and there is no point of explaining each one individually.
4. Other various stretching/ spine lengthening excersizes i have found online, in hopes to grow a slightly taller, if that is
at all possible.
5. 50 leg lifts on each leg. (The kind mom does LOL)
6. 25 pull ups, or large dunbell reps. (The 2hander in the garage)
7. Will possibly add more into routine , if I feel like doing steps 1-6 is becoming to easy.
=============================================================================================================================
Intelligence
=============================================================================================================================
From what ive heard, In order for your brain to function to the best of its ability properlly on a daily basis, you must have
had an adequate ammount of sleep the previous night. There for, the first part of this section has to do with my sleeping schedule
1. Will be in bed trying to fall asleep at 11:30. I will watch tv for a maximum of 1 hour, during this time i will not be focusing
on the tv program but concentrating on trying to get myself tired so i can fall asleep fast. I can no longer sleep without watching
Tv first to get tired, however that is also something i am willing to improve on. Though its not the most important thing in the
world. Everyone has their own methods for falling asleep and as long as i have one i think i am fine.
2. Will set alarm clock for 7:55am so i can be out of bed by 8 oclock every morning.
3.Will eat a nutritious type breakfast every day (This will be covered and much further detailed in the "proper diet" section)
4. Will spend AT LEAST 20 minutes per day reading the newspaper, ideally as i enjoy my breakfast. However, i would like to try and
read the entire newspaper every day (if time permits) excluding the extremely boring, irrelevant articles of course.Though i
really should just read it all, and make a goal of reading the entire paper every day, and time how long it takes me, then try to
improve that time. All these things are optional however the 20 minutes is MANDITORY. Absolutely nothing less.
5.Will actively read a novel (a very challenging one) for 30 minutes or more every day. Outside of all schoolwork,
or any such work-type reading, I will select my own personal novel and actively read for my own enjoyment for at least 30 minutes
a day. Like before, reading more then 30 minutes is fine, but absolutely nothing less then 30.
==============================================================================================================================
Anti drug habits
==============================================================================================================================
1. Will use every ounce of will I have to fight the urge to smoke weed or drink. These two drugs have really made me mentally
stupid, obviously weed has alot more , due to smoking every day... and only drinking ocasionally but still. Alchohol is no better.
2. Will go out with friends to do things other then smoke weed or drink. This will be hard at first, but i think after a few weeks
of not smoking it will become easier. Just need to find productive/ fun things to do that dont involve drugs. Casino is one option
though that could lead to another addiction in itself, not to mention i dont have any money of my own to gamble with so i would
basically be borrowing money from my friends. Another option is biking or swimming. or just anything productive.
3. Any time i feel like smoking or even think about doing it i will immediately do 25 pushups and 25 situps,
(on top of my regular routine)
4.Any time i get offered to go smoke with friends i will straight up tell them i've quit, no bullshit.
================================================================================================================================
School
================================================================================================================================
1.(GENERAL ROUTINE)
After my morning routine of eating,reading, and then showering, i will comence with my homeschooling no later then 9:30. I will
then work a solid 2 and a half hours with ZERO distractions or getting up. After this 2 and a half hour session, I will do my first
30 minute run at 12 oclock lunch time, followed by my lunch meal. after my 30 minute run and lunch, it should be close to 1:00
at which time I will commence into another 2 hour session of schoolwork with no distractions and no getting up. After this
Ill take a small 20 minute break in which time i will do some form of excerisize or stretching. After the 20 minute break,
i will commence the final 2 hour session of school work, which will take me to about 5:30-6:00 oclock. At which time parents
should be getting home.
2. The main goal here is to train myself into being able to sit and focus and do work when i need to. Not when i feel like it, which
is what i have been doing for the passed 2 years. Also another key component to this is when im in those 2 hour blocks of working,
to focus my absolute hardest on not getting distracted. I have to really focus hard on catching myself when my mind starts to
wander. I have to be very quick about catching the first thoughts of my mind wandering, in order to not waste time, and also to
train my brain to be more disciplined.
3.The overall goal here of following this school routine so strictly is to build discipline. I'll admit i have absolutely none
as it stands , but in order to get anyhwere in life, it is something that is required. So therefor i will work my hardest to build
my brains discipline for staying on task.
4. AS far as what Will be done when its tough to say. I have the rest of my english course to finish, then mathematics , then i
can graduate. Thats 1 and a half courses untill im fully graduated. (not alot at all) The english is half done thats why i say
one and a half. If i am actually doing 6 solid hours of school work per day, then I am sure i will be fully graduated no later
then the end of January. And english will DEFFINATELY be done before the end of december.
5. Will start to work on serious ideas for careers, and plans for college, in writing. As of right now i really can't say What i
would want to do for a career for the rest of my life, but i do want to start brain storming ideas of things i possibly want to
look into.
============================================================================================================================
Diet
============================================================================================================================
In order to start working towards getting physically healthy ( and mentally) I must start eating ONLY healthy and nutritous
meals and snacks. Absolutely no more terrible processed foods like microwave dinners and shit. That shit is terrible. No
more frozen convienent foods like pizza pops, or microwavable dorritos or just anything like that. From now on it all about
pure and healthy foods.
1. 6-8 Large glasses of water EVERY day.
2. 3-4 Decent sized snacks of vegatables such as carrots, apples, salads or anything similar to that. Eat plenty of fibre and
ruffage EVERY DAY, DO NOT MISS ONE DAY.
3. Drink plenty of fruit juices and other health type drinks like tomato juice or pommegranete juice or just other shit like that
4.Avoid any thing that is even close to resembling junkfood at all costs
5. For dinner, Try to eat lots of lean meats such as chicken and fish, while eating much less red meats like steak.
6. For breakfast and throughout the day make sure to eat LOTS of protein. Eggs for breakfast, yogurt,peanut butter, anything
healthy like that that has good protein value.
7. Try not to induldge in massive ammounts of carbohydrates all at once like eating a huge box of crackers or numerous slices of
bread. Of course eating carbs is a neccesity but my point is to not over induldge in them.
8.Read up more on diet online, and find out some solid healthy menus that i can use every day.This is just a starting guideline.
============================================================================================================================
Social Life/ Skills
============================================================================================================================
So basically I cannot hope to obtain any type of decent social life by sitting home. I understand i MUST leave the house just to
have basic social interaction every day in order to become a more social person, first starting with a job. I WILL NOT become
more social by sitting home by myself talking to no-one for 8 hours straight every day. However, this plan is designed to make
socializing alot easier in a months time from now. I know I will be at home for the next month,
but the point is to get myself looking
how i want through excersize, and also to become more intelligent and better at conversing through reading and other brain
chellenging methods.
Both of these things will make getting a job
and socializing with people a LOT easier in a months time. Part of the reason I hate going out and even holding conversations with
people is because i hate how i look ultimately. I used to be fit, in shape , decent looking, and now im just puffy faced and out
of shape completely. I know this sounds retarded but i dont like my face, not because of what it phsyically looks like, or the
facial features i was given,
but because of how i remember what i used to look like 3 years ago, and i remember being satisfied with how i looked.
for the last 2 years
i have been far less then satisfied with how i look.I pray that if i excersize strictly for a months time,i will look how i used
to before, and ultimately to just be satisfied with walking out into the world every day with a decent looking face that i can
be proud of, not a hideous fat face that i want to hide.
============================================================================================================================
Video Games
============================================================================================================================
Yes I will be drastically cutting down the ammount of hours which i waste away gaming. I had a sort of epiphinany and that was
I realised
I am not building any type of social skills when im by myself playing video games. As fun as it is, ( and yea video games are
fucking awsome, especially when high), i would much rather spend my time building up social skills and interacting with others,
to become overall a more interesting person.I dont want to be a boring person with nothing to say, and i fear this will be the
case if i continue to spend 10 hours a day playing video games.
I will limit my gaming to after a full day of school work or on weekends.
And even after a full day of school work i will no longer Play games from 6pm-1am like i used to. I will play a maximum of 3 hours.
That means from 6-12 i spend half the time gaming, and the other half doing something else like excersize , more school work, or
interacting with the family.
So to recap.
1. 3 hours of video games on workdays maximum.
2. Weekend should be free to do what i want , though as i have stated, i dont want to be spending my entire day gaming, when i
could be out trying to get a life.
=============================================================================================================================
Overall Attitude
=============================================================================================================================
Not much to say here other then i want to try my best to remain in a positive happy state of mind. i will try hard to
Not be a dick to anyone in the family, ever, and just try my best to not lose my temper, and remain in a good mood, despite
any negative things that come my way. (from others in the family, or friends)
This plan will go into effect on the 29th of december. It is massive and completely not like anything i have ever done (if i
follow through for longer then 1 day) Therefor i need 2 days to prepare myself, and that will leave the plan to start right near
the start of december. And continue on till the very end. A full month. Like i said in the beggining.
The End
