A nasty letter my friend sent me

[Kathryn]

I posted a previous thread which is connected to this one...here it is:
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/my-only-friend-semi-rant-19878/#post188878


My friend and I are having a feud, I got angry at her yesterday, and I said I didn't want to be friends with her anymore because she's a bitch to me and she's jealous of me. This whole thing started when I asked her a simple question about my drivers test and she yelled at me, calling me stupid and unable to find things out on my own.

Here's what my friiend sent me yesterday, it makes me so upset because I really DON'T have any friends, and she treats me like crap, but yet she has the nerve to say that I wasn't a good enough friend to her ::



Edit: Julia is an old friend of hers who she couldn't maintain because they would call each other names
::::::::::
i dont apreciate u calling me a bitch and whore like u did,friends dont say that to eachother(u should no how it feels after julia did it to u),i dont care how mad u were when u said it,its not right,but i guess we rnt friends r we,atleast u dont see me as ur friend,u dont trust me and i no u sure as hell dont like me,u only hang out with me because u hav noone else,but u did say u like being alone,well now u got wat u want more than ever,have a nice life without me because im tired of u blaming me for all ur problems saying i briing u down,i judge u in a nasty way(like u suposedly dont after wat u said abotu clarissa in the car the other day)and that im jelous,believe me im not jelouse of someone who has to blame ppl to feel better,so have a good life without me because im through beign friends with someone that says those things about me,if u want a new friend maybe julia and u hav a lot in common now,i can kinda see it ^_^

 

[Kathryn]

I'm very upset because I know she was my only friend for 12 years, and now I've decided to break the connection.....I knew she would send me a nasty e-mail like this but I didn't think it was going to be this bad. I'm just so sensitive...I can't take it anymore!!

 

[thor01]

Sorry about that. But it seems like your better off without her. A proper friend I'm sure would not send an email like that! Unless she's prepared to forget all this and treat you properly, I think it would be best to try and forget her.

 

[Kathryn]

Sorry about that. But it seems like your better off without her. A proper friend I'm sure would not send an email like that! Unless she's prepared to forget all this and treat you properly, I think it would be best to try and forget her.

In my heart I know this is true, but it just hurts so bad!
Our friendship has always been off and on, because we're always fighting and I can't seem to get away from her....but this time I hope it's over for good.

 

[JCS008]

Hey Kathryn. I think since you too have been friends for so long, even though there have been a lot of rough points, you owe it to one another to talk it over one last time. Friendships end, that's a part of life, but I just don't think they should ever end in a fit or rage. Try to talk it over one last time. If things don't work, then it may be time to let it go. Ultimately, just do what you think is most healthy for yourself.

 

[Kathryn]

Hey Kathryn. I think since you too have been friends for so long, even though there have been a lot of rough points, you owe it to one another to talk it over one last time. Friendships end, that's a part of life, but I just don't think they should ever end in a fit or rage. Try to talk it over one last time. If things don't work, then it may be time to let it go. Ultimately, just do what you think is most healthy for yourself.

I thought the same thing, but eventuallly my anger took over when she started criticizing me again. I really don't want to leave this portion of my life with a negative note but most of my life has been negative so I don't think it will make much of a difference.
I'm also afraid of confronting her again because I know she's angry: I spoke the truth; she treats me like garbage and everyone in my life agrees that she's either jealous(I'm not as lazy as she is) or that she has some kind of grudge against me. When she fights, she NEVER loses an argument, even if she's disagreeing with you that the sky is blue. Sometimes I feel like I'm having a heart attack with her whenI fight with her; she's just that frustrating

 

[Kathryn]

Hell i guess me and my friends are just different. I have gotten into physical fights with almost everyone one of them at some point or another...usually alcohol was involved but the next day we just act like nothing ever happened. I consider these guys basically like brothers!

I guess girls are a little different...

 

[Kathryn]

yeah i agree i meant to put that in there....lol

yea girls fight to the death =o

 

[Kathryn]

yeah i agree i meant to put that in there....lol

yea girls fight to the death =z

 

[pufferfish]

i had a friend who was like this. she was overweight as well (which i think probably adds to their need to constantly nit-pick others, to try and distract from their low body image.)
she treated me like shit most of the time, always commenting on how bad i looked, how she thought i had bad clothes, etc. eventually she pushed it too far when she started to insult my mother too. i felt that if i lost her i would have no friends in the world, so i tried to just ignore her bad attitude. time passed and i decided i deserved better, and i would seek it out for myself somehow. we stopped talking and for a while, i was alone. i then started to expand my social attitudes and i let myself grow as a person; being away from her was actually better for my situation, as i could no longer lean on her as a crutch.

now i have a good relationship with a boy, and i have made new friends who actually appreciate me. i still talk to her sometimes on msn, but it's very light conversation. i've taken the power away from her to hurt me, by standing up to her when she does it. we don't really see eachother outside of the net though.

i dunno what i am trying to say exactly; but i think if you let go of her, it might be better for you than you think.

 

[Kathryn]

i had a friend who was like this. she was overweight as well (which i think probably adds to their need to constantly nit-pick others, to try and distract from their low body image.)
she treated me like shit most of the time, always commenting on how bad i looked, how she thought i had bad clothes, etc. eventually she pushed it too far when she started to insult my mother too. i felt that if i lost her i would have no friends in the world, so i tried to just ignore her bad attitude. time passed and i decided i deserved better, and i would seek it out for myself somehow. we stopped talking and for a while, i was alone. i then started to expand my social attitudes and i let myself grow as a person; being away from her was actually better for my situation, as i could no longer lean on her as a crutch.

now i have a good relationship with a boy, and i have made new friends who actually appreciate me. i still talk to her sometimes on msn, but it's very light conversation. i've taken the power away from her to hurt me, by standing up to her when she does it. we don't really see eachother outside of the net though.

i dunno what i am trying to say exactly; but i think if you let go of her, it might be better for you than you think.

I can relate to everything you just said. Are you in college?

 

[pufferfish]

yes i am

 

[NothingElseMatters]

i've answered your previous post and my opinion is that u should just move on with your life.Feeling bad and guilty is a very normal thing when you make a serious change.And from what i have read so far the only reason you are with her is because you have always been!Just move on.Many people out there.You are doing a favor to yourself.Be a little selfish

 

[Kathryn]

thanks for the advice guys...I think I should force myself to make other friends although Im sure it will be unsuccessful =/

 

[Lunarsoldier]

Don't have anything to do with this friend. Having no friends is better than having toxic ones. Don't see it as a bad thing, friendlessness but a stage where you're yet to meet new people.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I posted a previous thread which is connected to this one...here it is:
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/my-only-friend-semi-rant-19878/#post188878


My friend and I are having a feud, I got angry at her yesterday, and I said I didn't want to be friends with her anymore because she's a bitch to me and she's jealous of me. This whole thing started when I asked her a simple question about my drivers test and she yelled at me, calling me stupid and unable to find things out on my own.

Here's what my friiend sent me yesterday, it makes me so upset because I really DON'T have any friends, and she treats me like crap, but yet she has the nerve to say that I wasn't a good enough friend to her ::



Edit: Julia is an old friend of hers who she couldn't maintain because they would call each other names
::::::::::
i dont apreciate u calling me a bitch and whore like u did,friends dont say that to eachother(u should no how it feels after julia did it to u),i dont care how mad u were when u said it,its not right,but i guess we rnt friends r we,atleast u dont see me as ur friend,u dont trust me and i no u sure as hell dont like me,u only hang out with me because u hav noone else,but u did say u like being alone,well now u got wat u want more than ever,have a nice life without me because im tired of u blaming me for all ur problems saying i briing u down,i judge u in a nasty way(like u suposedly dont after wat u said abotu clarissa in the car the other day)and that im jelous,believe me im not jelouse of someone who has to blame ppl to feel better,so have a good life without me because im through beign friends with someone that says those things about me,if u want a new friend maybe julia and u hav a lot in common now,i can kinda see it ^_^

She does sound like a bitch and if she's this mean to you then she totally deserved being called a bitch. Sometimes we keep company with people who are bad for us because we do not want to be alone, but in the end we're far better off without them. I'm really sorry to hear this. I know what it's like to be around toxic friends. Consider yourself lucky that you're rid of her.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

thanks for the advice guys...I think I should force myself to make other friends although Im sure it will be unsuccessful =/

You should try to make other friends. You can't assume that you'll be unsuccessful because there is not sure way of knowing. Just go out there and if you're successful then it's great and if you're not then just dust yourself off and keep trying. Best of luck, sweetie.