Falkor
1
Hey, I get really weird thoughts about the world sometimes. Like being afraid if all people ''just think i'm a freak, ugly person who is not worth anything''.
it's because people bullied me about being ugly and being stupid because of my struggles, people laughed at me really hard when i failed doing a speech once and people told me even to die cuz im not normal
. those guys have been beating me up... also. So this keeps on my mind like every day.
I lost trust in ppl. Here some examples;
I think my whole town is looking down at me, like wow what a pathetic soul.
Or that my neighbours think like ''Oh she's in the house every day, she has no life at all, she's just being lazy and doing nothing'. I get most weird thoughts
I hope this all isnt true. but i'm having thoughts about everyone thinking these stuff about me. It makes me feel anxious of people all the time. But I know people have told me hurtful stuff so now I doubt if people are trustworthy.
And most of all... I feel uncertain and insecure everywhere, where i stand.
This is a huge pain, I just can't feel happy with myself. But now i want to change my life, but everything is still the same struggle. I'm facing my fears a lot more, but still i have these insane thoughts. and my emotions of hurt are breaking me down.
And i just want to have a social life like every body else. i dont have college, but college will start in september. I wish it could start earlier. but still i would be frightened of people in school bullying me. but i hope those people will be very nice to me. im glad people are nice to me i do have truly nice friends, they like me for the person who i am inside. not outside, not my struggles, not my whatever it is.
it's because people bullied me about being ugly and being stupid because of my struggles, people laughed at me really hard when i failed doing a speech once and people told me even to die cuz im not normal
. those guys have been beating me up... also. So this keeps on my mind like every day.I lost trust in ppl. Here some examples;
I think my whole town is looking down at me, like wow what a pathetic soul.
Or that my neighbours think like ''Oh she's in the house every day, she has no life at all, she's just being lazy and doing nothing'. I get most weird thoughts
I hope this all isnt true. but i'm having thoughts about everyone thinking these stuff about me. It makes me feel anxious of people all the time. But I know people have told me hurtful stuff so now I doubt if people are trustworthy.
And most of all... I feel uncertain and insecure everywhere, where i stand.
This is a huge pain, I just can't feel happy with myself. But now i want to change my life, but everything is still the same struggle. I'm facing my fears a lot more, but still i have these insane thoughts. and my emotions of hurt are breaking me down.
And i just want to have a social life like every body else. i dont have college, but college will start in september. I wish it could start earlier. but still i would be frightened of people in school bullying me. but i hope those people will be very nice to me. im glad people are nice to me i do have truly nice friends, they like me for the person who i am inside. not outside, not my struggles, not my whatever it is.
