Liesha27
Member
It all started in fifth grade. Since then, I been bullied verbally, psychologically and even physically. I wasn't strong enough to stand up for myself. I never looked right, I have extreme ance, I never had the right clothes. I had a few friends but they didn't know how to relate to me because they wasn't being bullied like I was. They treated me like I was lower than they are. I was always crying. People would call me ulgy names and I was always pushed aside. People would even throw paper or pencils at me.
In sixth grade, it followed me because most of the people from elementary went to my middle school and high school. Anyways I was always getting taunted and talked about at the bus stop and at school. So many people kept saying that I was retarded because I guess it was because I wasn't like everyone else. Later that year, I started pulling my hair out. I didn't know why I was pulling out my hair. I didn't realized until seventh grade that I have a biological condition. Then after a while, I started having large bald spots and people starting noticing. That gave more information about myself for people to talk about me and bring me down even more. I kept having hair extensions to cover up what I have done. No one knew that I pulled my hair, not even my parents until last year. I managed to keep the fact that I have trichotillomania to myself.
Seventh grade was the worst year of my life. I had to wear a wig because I pulled mostly like an estimate of ninety percent of my hair. People belittled me about my hair and guys started called me demeaning names. When I make a mistake, people want to fight me or bring me down even worst but when other people that are the "cool" ones made a mistake, its like they never done it. No one liked me or be around me. Its like people can do and say anything they want to me and I can't do nothing or I didn't know what to do. Its like when someone is in the wrong to me and I tried to tell them off, they want to use my hair to put me down or to shut me up. I felt like I was in a black hole where no one wanted to be friends with me or be around me because of all the negative attention I have unintentionally gotten. And then 8th grade, it got alittle bit better but I was still being bullied. Then the summer before going into eighth grade, everything was going against me, I thought that I would be better off dead. I tried to kill myself with koolaid mixed with bleach. I fell asleep hoping that I didn't wake up but instead I woke up nauseated and I was vomiting like every minute for an hour or so. I got sick that day. I never told anyone. No one knew. I gotten angry that I didn't die and have to lie another day dealing with misery at school.
In high school, ninth grade through the eleventh grade, its the same routine. Bullying calmed down alittle but it didn't calm down enough. I became invisible but not all that disexistant. I became a loner. I was always so sad and depressed all the time, I separated myself from people because people would highly talk about me and judge me and which is why I started talking about people because I feel like I can't do wrong but other people can do wrong. I wanted to feel the thrill of doing to people what they did to me. I learned my lesson. When I do something wrong, things will always come back to me rather quickly. Maybe thats why my heart is so good and I tend to have a compassionate personality.
I also became angry because all that anger I had from middle school, I never acted on my anger but then in high school I did. I kept having a bad attitude with people and with my parents becuase I was so angry but then like always people always use my hair or my weakness to bring me down further or to shut me up. Twelveth grade year comes around, which was last year, I begged my mom to put me in another school because I didn't want to be miserable at that horrible, ghetto school. Then I went to a new school high school and everything was great but inside, I was a loner and I was still in a state of depression because of what happened to me in school all these years. I am still am today. I am still extremely reserved, I have social anxiety, I don't like to be around groups of people that much.
My story proves that bullying is a very serious matter and its not just "kids being kids".
Bullying can also affect your adulthood partially also. But I would never take back what I went through because I wouldn't be a very compassionate person yearning to help others.
In sixth grade, it followed me because most of the people from elementary went to my middle school and high school. Anyways I was always getting taunted and talked about at the bus stop and at school. So many people kept saying that I was retarded because I guess it was because I wasn't like everyone else. Later that year, I started pulling my hair out. I didn't know why I was pulling out my hair. I didn't realized until seventh grade that I have a biological condition. Then after a while, I started having large bald spots and people starting noticing. That gave more information about myself for people to talk about me and bring me down even more. I kept having hair extensions to cover up what I have done. No one knew that I pulled my hair, not even my parents until last year. I managed to keep the fact that I have trichotillomania to myself.
Seventh grade was the worst year of my life. I had to wear a wig because I pulled mostly like an estimate of ninety percent of my hair. People belittled me about my hair and guys started called me demeaning names. When I make a mistake, people want to fight me or bring me down even worst but when other people that are the "cool" ones made a mistake, its like they never done it. No one liked me or be around me. Its like people can do and say anything they want to me and I can't do nothing or I didn't know what to do. Its like when someone is in the wrong to me and I tried to tell them off, they want to use my hair to put me down or to shut me up. I felt like I was in a black hole where no one wanted to be friends with me or be around me because of all the negative attention I have unintentionally gotten. And then 8th grade, it got alittle bit better but I was still being bullied. Then the summer before going into eighth grade, everything was going against me, I thought that I would be better off dead. I tried to kill myself with koolaid mixed with bleach. I fell asleep hoping that I didn't wake up but instead I woke up nauseated and I was vomiting like every minute for an hour or so. I got sick that day. I never told anyone. No one knew. I gotten angry that I didn't die and have to lie another day dealing with misery at school.
In high school, ninth grade through the eleventh grade, its the same routine. Bullying calmed down alittle but it didn't calm down enough. I became invisible but not all that disexistant. I became a loner. I was always so sad and depressed all the time, I separated myself from people because people would highly talk about me and judge me and which is why I started talking about people because I feel like I can't do wrong but other people can do wrong. I wanted to feel the thrill of doing to people what they did to me. I learned my lesson. When I do something wrong, things will always come back to me rather quickly. Maybe thats why my heart is so good and I tend to have a compassionate personality.
I also became angry because all that anger I had from middle school, I never acted on my anger but then in high school I did. I kept having a bad attitude with people and with my parents becuase I was so angry but then like always people always use my hair or my weakness to bring me down further or to shut me up. Twelveth grade year comes around, which was last year, I begged my mom to put me in another school because I didn't want to be miserable at that horrible, ghetto school. Then I went to a new school high school and everything was great but inside, I was a loner and I was still in a state of depression because of what happened to me in school all these years. I am still am today. I am still extremely reserved, I have social anxiety, I don't like to be around groups of people that much.
My story proves that bullying is a very serious matter and its not just "kids being kids".
Bullying can also affect your adulthood partially also. But I would never take back what I went through because I wouldn't be a very compassionate person yearning to help others.
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