A crush i just can't seem to get over...any ideas?

[MS87]

Ok so i have this problem its actually driving me crazy. I'm a 22 year old female and up until now have never had any feelings towards other women. I really fancy my hetrosexual friend, shes stunning and always gets loads of attention from guys, she has three guys at the minitue who want to go out with her. I'm friends with all three of the guys and they keep asking me for advice about how to approach her and what they could do for valentines day, i just say i dont know, it hurts trying to help them out when i wanna be with her! valentines days gonna suck knowing that shes with them.

Whenever i see her with these other guys like kissing of hugging i get jealous and go into a mood, i hate being like this and i dont want anyone to know i like her so i try and hide it, but its killing me. I know its just a crush i need to get over but somehow i cant! We were out last month and we walked past these two guys holding hands, i didnt think much of it but her reaction was 'yuck!'...so its not like i can talk to her about it cause it wil ruin our friendship.

We've spent a lot of time together recently and i've stayed around hers and she's stayed around mine, although the majority of the times we've been drunk we always end up hugging in bed....altho its me who always innitates the hugs she never pushes my arm away. we even walked home holding hands the other week. Whenever we go out with a group of friends we're always by each others side, i started dancing with this guy the other week and she kept pulling me away from him.....am i reading too much into this?

I just dont know what to do, i know i need to get over this but i cant seem too, if i dont see her or hear from her i get in a mood. I've tried phasing her out, like not sms ing her for a couple of days but when i do i still like her just as much :s

I wouldnt classify myself as gay and i dont have these feeling towards anyone else but her. Any ideas how to get over her?....i think speaking to her would ruin our friendship.

Thanks for reading this, i know its a bit pathetic but i just dont know what to do anymore.

 

[TheNewZero]

That's a really hard place to be in. I would say that you should talk to her about it but from her reaction to the two gay guys I don't know...

I had a friend in high school who was a lesbian. We were really good friends for a long time, long before she came out as gay. Anyways, she told me that she had feelings for me and it wasn't a big deal. I'm straight, but I didn't mind at all when she told me and I'm sure it helped her a lot to talk about it even though the conversation made it clear that we could never have a sexual relationship.

Look at it this way, if you tell her and she freaks out, is that really the type of person that you want to be friends with? Even if you're not gay, the feelings that you have are a part of you, and if she can't accept that is she really a good friend to have?

 

[lettypagb]

I think she likes you ,

 

[Thelema]

Either tell her or stay away from her

If you have feelings for one girl, maybe you could find another girl

 

[Havocan]

As far as you've said your friend is obviously hetero and telling her this is almost guaranteed to ruin your friendship or at least make a deep cut in it. You need to find out if you're a lesbian or not; maybe you'll encounter another girl someday which you'll start to develop feelings for. Just "let it go", no matter how hard it is. Realise and accept the fact that it's not going to happen and move on^^.

 

[Danfalc]

Tell her maybe? If shes your friend she should accept it..It might take her a few days to get her head around but i think she would.You dont have to turn round and say you fancy her and want to be with her..Just your sorta atrracted to her and that you find it weird aswell because like you say you have never felt like this towards another girl before.

Being attracted to her definatley doesnt make you gay in my books,I think its different for girls in some ways because their more comfortable with their sexuality than most guys.

I guess its easy for me to sit hear and say this when it could be your friendship on the line,but i do think telling her might let you move on yknow?Generaly girls are pretty good at picking up at vibes...so maybe your not mis-reading things at all and your friend has simlar feelings to you,you will never know i guess unless your open.And the worst that could happen is you freak her out a bit..but i doubt very much she would end your friendship even then.

 

[Jay Cataldo]

I agree with Danfalc. If you phrase it the right way, I doubt it will ruin your friendship.

Don't come out and tell her you are infatuated, but when you guys are cuddling in bed (and preferably a little drunk lol) you can say something like, "You know... I'm so embarrassed to tell you this, but I think you're like the hottest girl in the whole. When I look at you, all I can think about it how gorgeous you are. Is that weird?" and she how she responds. If she gets freaked out, then just drop it. If she responds well, you can progress things a bit. Good luck.

 

[bi-curious]

you should try to find out whether she is attracted to girls or not. try talking about lesbians with her and see her reaction, and if she over reacts or freaks out, explain to her that actually it isn't a bad idea if people try being with a same sex person once. it is not dirty or filthy or anything. if you have stronger feelings for her and want to get more physical with her, its not like you're gonna take advantage of her and leave her feel disguisted or anything. it's actually really cute, and you are gonna make it really enjoying for her. (hopefully she does the same, ha!)

i have sorta of a same situation too. i have a crush on my best girlfriend . she's open-minded towards these stuff though! we would stay around each other's places and we would hug in bed, but on the new years we kissed and actually slept together. since then, its no big deal and we r open about it. although i feel like i'm attracted to girls in general, not just her!