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- Thread starter Spearmint
- Start date
Danfalc
Banned
Im dunno if im technicaly housebound... going out tho is like my worst nightmare .I live on my own so i have to pay bills and go shopping see the doctor get beds ect ect but i usualy have to be with my mum or social worker its rare i do it on my own.Frustrates me so much cos i cant stand the boredom!
Just wanna say to people who are like the same it can get better tho... ive been stuck in like this for years now.. which has caused me to be heavily depressed aswell .But i joined the gym before last christmas i think,didnt think i could do it but i can,i still turn into a gibbering mess pretty much everytime i go which does make it hard and i get scared in there cos i think people are staring ect and sometimes i cant do it and have to go back home.But after a good 1-2 hour workout... its like ive burnt off my anxiety and my depression lifts for the rest of the day.. it is so hard to do it but its so worth it so if ya can try its the first real break through ive made with getting out.
edit: get beds?? lol i ment get meds
Just wanna say to people who are like the same it can get better tho... ive been stuck in like this for years now.. which has caused me to be heavily depressed aswell .But i joined the gym before last christmas i think,didnt think i could do it but i can,i still turn into a gibbering mess pretty much everytime i go which does make it hard and i get scared in there cos i think people are staring ect and sometimes i cant do it and have to go back home.But after a good 1-2 hour workout... its like ive burnt off my anxiety and my depression lifts for the rest of the day.. it is so hard to do it but its so worth it so if ya can try its the first real break through ive made with getting out.
edit: get beds?? lol i ment get meds
fruitbat
Member
I am.
I was taking college courses but lost motivation half-way through, and the social anxiety got so bad that I'd get to the door of the classroom then the fear was so overwhelming I'd turn around and go home. So that didn't work out.
I'd like a job, but I know if I have to work with people I'll be on edge all day, and the usual motivation problems too. I'm afraid to get one and end up quitting and dissapointing my family...
It's not bad having the house to myself all day and being able to do whatever I want, but I know I'm avoiding life, and just sitting around all day just makes me more depressed. But as the weather gets nicer I've been trying to go outside more, going for walks and such.
I was taking college courses but lost motivation half-way through, and the social anxiety got so bad that I'd get to the door of the classroom then the fear was so overwhelming I'd turn around and go home. So that didn't work out.
I'd like a job, but I know if I have to work with people I'll be on edge all day, and the usual motivation problems too. I'm afraid to get one and end up quitting and dissapointing my family...
It's not bad having the house to myself all day and being able to do whatever I want, but I know I'm avoiding life, and just sitting around all day just makes me more depressed. But as the weather gets nicer I've been trying to go outside more, going for walks and such.
hermitdafrog
Member
Me too as well, not just a little bit but completely lost in it.
it's a pretty boring life but then again i dont have much reason for going out anymore anyway.
it's a pretty boring life but then again i dont have much reason for going out anymore anyway.
I'm not technically housebound, but in practice I do spend most of my time inside the house. The fact is, even though I could go outside without any special problem, I don't have much reason to do so. I have almost quit studying and consequently going to uni. I have no job and I find it extremely hard to even start looking for one. I have no friends to visit or to engage in activities with, except for some sport I practice on sundays with people who are by no means friends.
So days go by one after the other, identical and useless, and I see my self esteem and my very willingness to exist fading away as time passes. Almost every night I plan to start confronting the situation the day after, and almost every morning I wake up and I feel like I'm sinking into a pit of desperation mixed with anxiety, unable to do accomplish the smallest task. I drag myself out of bed very late (I'm ashamed by how late I have become used to get up) and as I have breakfast I typically decide to postpone whatever I had in mind to do. Only then, with some sugar entering the bloodstream and having given up on any plan of constructive activity, do I feel better. I feel relaxed, like if I had just met success after a struggle. I even feel slightly optimistic at times, and I think that yes, maybe I will manage tomorrow after all.
So days go by one after the other, identical and useless, and I see my self esteem and my very willingness to exist fading away as time passes. Almost every night I plan to start confronting the situation the day after, and almost every morning I wake up and I feel like I'm sinking into a pit of desperation mixed with anxiety, unable to do accomplish the smallest task. I drag myself out of bed very late (I'm ashamed by how late I have become used to get up) and as I have breakfast I typically decide to postpone whatever I had in mind to do. Only then, with some sugar entering the bloodstream and having given up on any plan of constructive activity, do I feel better. I feel relaxed, like if I had just met success after a struggle. I even feel slightly optimistic at times, and I think that yes, maybe I will manage tomorrow after all.
IceLad
Well-known member
When I was younger, the longest I spent without stepping outside the front door was a week. Nowadays, its a couple of days max.
Thankfully these days its my choice whether I step outside my front door, but apart from work and shopping, I don't have very many reasons to do so.
Thankfully these days its my choice whether I step outside my front door, but apart from work and shopping, I don't have very many reasons to do so.
Amiyumi
Well-known member
Ive always had really bad sp, so at school kids didn't think i could talk lol.
I stopped goin out when i had an accident when i was 7, exept for school. I can't remember anything from 7 to almost 10 cause of it, just bits. I started to get out at home again at 12, and left highschool at 15. thats when i could only go out once a week with family. i went to college at 17 and cause v sum bad experences i was completley housebound at 19.
Funny enough, i was that used to living like that that i never seen being like this comming...
My family had issues, so they just let me get on with it.. 8O
Reason im saying, im just wonderin if any of you get any help from family if you live with them, its kinda weird, if they were like this i'd help them. not that i blame them.
Are you all ok with people indoors?
I hid from everyone but my family, but over the years (3) i started to get self consious with them to, i dragged my hair in my face and wore a big house coat wif huge hood always up. They went 1 and a half years without ever seeing my face.
ahh, someone tell me you've got that bad at some point please!
I stopped goin out when i had an accident when i was 7, exept for school. I can't remember anything from 7 to almost 10 cause of it, just bits. I started to get out at home again at 12, and left highschool at 15. thats when i could only go out once a week with family. i went to college at 17 and cause v sum bad experences i was completley housebound at 19.
Funny enough, i was that used to living like that that i never seen being like this comming...
My family had issues, so they just let me get on with it.. 8O
Reason im saying, im just wonderin if any of you get any help from family if you live with them, its kinda weird, if they were like this i'd help them. not that i blame them.
Are you all ok with people indoors?
I hid from everyone but my family, but over the years (3) i started to get self consious with them to, i dragged my hair in my face and wore a big house coat wif huge hood always up. They went 1 and a half years without ever seeing my face.
ahh, someone tell me you've got that bad at some point please!
Starry
Well-known member
cutefluffykitten said:
I'm so like that. I try so hard not to cry in front of my family at TV programmes, or films, it actually physically hurts to try to stop your facial expression altering and to stop tears falling. I usually end up turning bright red and getting a tenssion headache... I also try not to swallow or breathe loudly when there is anything emotional on, because then I'd be seen to be reacting, and that's just awful - Though I know it's not really, it feels that way. 8O And even if nobody's actually looking at me, I still feel like everyone's staring at me and I feel incredibly hot and uncomfortable.
Sometimes though, if I see something like a kiss scene coming up, I will try to distract my family by saying something so they'll look at me, instead of the screen, because that's less embarrassing than my thoughts about them seeing that and seeing me trying not to react lol. Because if they're talking to me, then I'm not watching the scene, so I can't react to it, so they can't see me react... Strange reasoning, but it works for me lol.
cutefluffykitten said:
I was sometimes like that at school if the room was quiet. The library was tortur, though I liked being in there and reading. Or if I'd run up the stairs or something and was out of breath, it was torture trying to walk along a corridor, without being heard breathing 8O Because that's just awful, people can't be heard to be breathing, that's unthinkable isn't it? Strange things SP does to your brain. :roll: I'm not like that around my family though, unless, it's related to watching something as mentioned earlier in my post. lol
Amiyumi
Well-known member
cutefluffykitten said:Has anyone else been so aware of even having to swallow and be heard to breath that they would hold there spit in there mouth and hold it then till you could slowly swallow it without being seen to swallow or heard....Or kept as still as you could so noone heard you move or breath and stuff...flip....i used to be like that every day of my life around family and boyfriends and friends...
I just had that through school, when we'd all be quiet writin. It took up all my concentration some days, i'd hold my breath, and then my breating got more obvious and louder once i got my breath back. That kinda made my face go red or i'd start to sweat with nerves, the sweating wasn't obvious, but the more i focused on it, the worse it got. My mouth dried up alot to, thats how i couldnt talk as a kid, and no one could ever hear me.
...i opened up with one on one converstation tho, not like that happened alot. It stopped soon as i left school, i'm sorry to hear you had that with your family, it really gets in the way of your life.
"And to eat or drink...nooooooo way....i couldnt do that around friends or boyfriends only my mom and bro really
I only eat in front of my family and the one friend i have. Ive always avoided lunches etc since primary cause of it.
Spearmint, ive never really known "normal", but im starting to beat it, im scared though... i wonder how long its going to last.
I started to try to change about 8 month ago. Just a year ago, when i was badly isolated, i depended on my family for everything. I never thought of going out anymore, i gave up and spent all my time playin video games, watching anime, escaping reality. By now i hid in my huge housecoat, it was my lowest.
I met a guy -
But he was patient with me, even though he never saw my face for the first 2 half month :lol: we talked alot, and i shared everything with him, we were good friends and he took the isolation away, he made me feel sick of the way i was living, and made me intrested in life. I think you have to be ready to change, before when i got books for help, to be honest, i was just to lazy.
With sa, the worst thing you can do is do nothing. Even if your at home and you don't feel anxious you should try to find something to take up your time. When people suffer from depression, ive heard one of the best things they can do is learn something, make some kind of achievement. It takes your mind off what your feeling, so does videogames etc but do them in moderation, achievments build your self esteem.
I started to study. I chose something that i love, that's intergrated into all my other intrests anyway, it was tough at first but stick with it. I can really throw myself into things like that, since i have so much time.
Start an exersise routine too, i couldn't be bothered with this either, start of by turning up your fav music and dance around, it helps. I do pilates now so ive lost the hunch :lol: and im really flexable now yay ha.
Exersise does alot for your mood, and you'll look and feel better to.
Learn to love yourself. Every 3 r 4 days try looking at yourself in the mirrior naked 8O i hated my face and body but im learning to be comfortable with myself, with exersise, you'll see what a diffrence it's doing to you.
I started to go out at midnight - try supermarkets that r open 24, they're kinda empty that time. then i went to the shops when it rained, with brolly and hood up, no one can see you under it, so its great.
My latest feat was the dentist, i have to go back this fri for one filling eeek!
Now i'm looking at taking a course. Don't choose something full time, take it easy... that way if you can't deal with it, you only have one day a week and plan on recovery for next week.
...I have to go just now, hope i'm sum help and i'll post more if i think of anything else that can help.
oh, and try watching dramas and films on your own, they make me used to interaction (if that makes sense) and makes you feel relaxed with it, more emotional yourself... human.
Serge
Active member
Spearmint said:
I have been in the position - where going out was a major struggle and I basically left it as late as possible, not mixing with people, unable to talk with anyone, going to the shops only when it was dark and absolutely necessary for example.
I think the only way to get better is to realise and decide that you dont want to continue living that way anymore. That is the most important step - everything after that is based on it. And also to tell yourself that it will take hard work and a lot of it.
Whatever the minimum you can do is then you have to ensure you do that, if it means going 10 metres down the road then do it every single day. And also ask for help - yes its embarassing at first but doctors and counsellors will have heard far stranger things before. Sadly there is no magic pill, discovery or treatment other than that initial realisation that this cant continue.
It can be done - and there will be a few hiccups along the way, but dont let it discourage you. Setting goals and targets is important too - try and force yourself to get out every day even if its only for a few minutes. It can be done, but you have to realise just how much hard work it takes.