2 important questions...
- Thread starter chris11
- Start date
Gone
Well-known member
chris11 said:Hey,
1.How do you think that those who don't have an anxiety disorder think about those who have aanxiety disorder?
2. Do you think that people would actualy accept an individual, such as my self, who has 'mild' OCD and SAD, as a friend?
Thanks for answering.
1. No idea
2. I know for sure thats possible
eso
Well-known member
I have the perspective of being both without severe shyness and/or SA and with them, thanks to my peppered past of me trying hard to cure myself with various levels of success. From that I can tell you it depends on exactly how the anxiety sufferer acts. If they are reasonably sane but just quiet, people seem to just accept that person as a quiet person. If they do anything beyond that, like really avoid eye contact with everyone, speak mumbly or whatever, obviously avoids all social activity, seems 'strange' somehow because they don't act correctly in social situations... I'll be honest, you guys look completely bonkers and people are afraid of you. Even a person like me who knows exactly how you feel, I'm afraid too.
What's funny is we are so afraid of social stuff and looking bad and judgments and etc, but the way we act makes people judge us way more harshly than if we were to just be 'normal' like other people. If we did speak up and looked people in the eye and didn't act so alone we'd be even more invisible than we are now (which I personally would love). Because now we're 'the creepy guy' instead of just the normal dude.
as for your 2nd question, I have mild OCD AND tourette's syndrome. I also have tons of other stupid health problems. I have a girlfriend and 2 very close friends (both gorgeous women), as well as a few buddies I hang out with every other week, and co-workers who treat me like I'm part of their family. Oh yeah, and i'm really quiet and shy, can't talk on the phone, can't look people in the eye, etc etc etc...
What's funny is we are so afraid of social stuff and looking bad and judgments and etc, but the way we act makes people judge us way more harshly than if we were to just be 'normal' like other people. If we did speak up and looked people in the eye and didn't act so alone we'd be even more invisible than we are now (which I personally would love). Because now we're 'the creepy guy' instead of just the normal dude.
as for your 2nd question, I have mild OCD AND tourette's syndrome. I also have tons of other stupid health problems. I have a girlfriend and 2 very close friends (both gorgeous women), as well as a few buddies I hang out with every other week, and co-workers who treat me like I'm part of their family. Oh yeah, and i'm really quiet and shy, can't talk on the phone, can't look people in the eye, etc etc etc...
worrywort
Well-known member
I think everybody has bounderies. Bounderies to what they feel is socially acceptable and what isn't. In my experience I believe most people are kind people who have their bounderies pushed back pretty far. I think one boundery for a lot of people is when somebody does something that hurts another person. That would be something that they would object against or dislike you for. Other than that, anything overly strange might invoke some curiousity but I doubt there'd be any contempt. So as long as you're not hurting anybody else I think most people will let you be.
the problem is, often people with disorders, in their passivity or silence or personal behaviours, inadvertently hurt other people without meaning to. For example, just knowing that you are not happy, can cause some people discomfort. And sometimes I think people with disorders can behave in ways that others don't know how to deal with and they find this confusion uncomfortable. Just being different sometimes can cause others unease. [but that may not always be a bad thing!].
But I think it boils down to how accepting other people are and also how secure in themselves they are. If a person is not secure in themselves, when confronted with a disordered person they're more likely to choose reactions such as anger or hatred or superiority rather than compassion and empathy and concern. Because to choose the former you can protect your ego and hold on to the stance that you are right and they are wrong, whereas choosing the latter would mean letting some of their burden fall on your own shoulders. To have compassion, empathy and concern for another person means feeling their pain, which most people would rather avoid. But to have anger, hatred and superiority means that you can feel that you are right and they are wrong which will make you feel good about yourself, that you are in the moral right.[......i think?!!!...just my opinion!]
but anyway, in conclusion I think people without these disorders will find it very hard to understand people with these disorders, and I think, while most people will be happy to just let you be, I think it'd be rare to find people that have geniune empathy for us. I think most people will feel superior to us.
and in answer to your second question, I think anybody that has experienced any kind of humbling problem in life would likely accept you as a friend, regardless of what that problem may be, but they may not fully understand you. People who have been through what you've been through would both accept you and understand you. But as for those that don't know what it's like to be humbled to the same degree as you, if they're not secure people, may not accept you.
p.s. I just read back through my post and it seems a touch cold.....I've made lots of friends in the past that are totally different to me. I get on with my sisters better than anyone else in the world and they're still too young to have experienced anything of hugely humbling proportions. Plus, I know for me, if I ever met someone, even if they were really messed up, I really strongly like to believe that I would not only accept them but I would attempt to understand them and would have love and compassion for them too.....er....so in conclusion....well i'm not sure what the conclusion is?!?!?.....I'm just babbling again!
the problem is, often people with disorders, in their passivity or silence or personal behaviours, inadvertently hurt other people without meaning to. For example, just knowing that you are not happy, can cause some people discomfort. And sometimes I think people with disorders can behave in ways that others don't know how to deal with and they find this confusion uncomfortable. Just being different sometimes can cause others unease. [but that may not always be a bad thing!].
But I think it boils down to how accepting other people are and also how secure in themselves they are. If a person is not secure in themselves, when confronted with a disordered person they're more likely to choose reactions such as anger or hatred or superiority rather than compassion and empathy and concern. Because to choose the former you can protect your ego and hold on to the stance that you are right and they are wrong, whereas choosing the latter would mean letting some of their burden fall on your own shoulders. To have compassion, empathy and concern for another person means feeling their pain, which most people would rather avoid. But to have anger, hatred and superiority means that you can feel that you are right and they are wrong which will make you feel good about yourself, that you are in the moral right.[......i think?!!!...just my opinion!]
but anyway, in conclusion I think people without these disorders will find it very hard to understand people with these disorders, and I think, while most people will be happy to just let you be, I think it'd be rare to find people that have geniune empathy for us. I think most people will feel superior to us.
and in answer to your second question, I think anybody that has experienced any kind of humbling problem in life would likely accept you as a friend, regardless of what that problem may be, but they may not fully understand you. People who have been through what you've been through would both accept you and understand you. But as for those that don't know what it's like to be humbled to the same degree as you, if they're not secure people, may not accept you.
p.s. I just read back through my post and it seems a touch cold.....I've made lots of friends in the past that are totally different to me. I get on with my sisters better than anyone else in the world and they're still too young to have experienced anything of hugely humbling proportions. Plus, I know for me, if I ever met someone, even if they were really messed up, I really strongly like to believe that I would not only accept them but I would attempt to understand them and would have love and compassion for them too.....er....so in conclusion....well i'm not sure what the conclusion is?!?!?.....I'm just babbling again!
I do not have social phobia and I have come across an individual who does and I was never brought to the point of wanting to completely shut my door to this person despite their many apprehensions and distancing...It all depends on the people involved as every person is different and it may take a very understanding,strong,patient person to hang in there with someone of this nature as some of them can come across as cold and uninterested....However there is only such much time and effort one can put into trying to establish a friendship before they get tired of being pushed away...It can hurt the non phobic person very much to be in that position...We should all try putting the shoe on the other foot from time to time...
getbornagain
Well-known member
No one will hate you for having OCD. Look at some celebrities with OCD: Justin Timberlake, Alec Baldwin, Leo DiCaprio, David Beckham, Fred Durst, Cameron Diaz, Billy Bob Thornton.... We all have a shot at glory. Just have to find the fire within.
BashfulDoll
Well-known member
getbornagain said:
what are all those celebs compulsive about???
''
Havocan
Well-known member
1) The narrow-minded twits probably view them as weak while the rest accept that they've got some sort of issue which prevents them from doing certain things. Most likely they'll not always understand why it's hard for the person to do those things and therefore maybe see them as somewhat problematical.
2) Of course. These disorders don't make you contagious or in any way dangerous to others and should therefore not be a reason to ditch someone as a friend. I've got some myself who accept me they way I am.
2) Of course. These disorders don't make you contagious or in any way dangerous to others and should therefore not be a reason to ditch someone as a friend. I've got some myself who accept me they way I am.
Havocan
Well-known member
1) The narrow-minded twits probably view them as weak while the rest accept that they've got some sort of issue which prevents them from doing certain things. Most likely they'll not always understand why it's hard for the person to do those things and therefore maybe see them as somewhat problematical.
2) Of course. These disorders don't make you contagious or in any way dangerous to others and should therefore not be a reason to ditch someone as a friend. I've got some myself who accept me they way I am.
2) Of course. These disorders don't make you contagious or in any way dangerous to others and should therefore not be a reason to ditch someone as a friend. I've got some myself who accept me they way I am.
Nikki1988
Member
chris11 said:Hey,
1.How do you think that those who don't have an anxiety disorder think about those who have a
2. Do you think that people would actualy accept an individual, such as my self, who has 'mild' OCD and SAD, as a friend?
Thanks for answering.
1. depends. if the individual with an axiety disorder tries their best to get on with life then there is no problem, coz we all have problems we need to deal with. if the person however spends their whole time moaning about it and feeling sorry for themselves, you cant help but loose some respect for them, theres no problem in talking about it when it gets tough, but constant moaning, people dont want it.
2. depends on the above. with me, people can have any problem they like, its how they deal with it that makes the person, its not the problem. i cant be friends with people who wollow in self pitty, because im a deal with it kinda girl, or inless you placing steps to deal with it, why moan about something your not bothering to sort out? its a waste of my time.
its all in context.