18 and never had a relationship

littl3misstrange

littl3misstrange

Well-known member
I know there are a million posts on this forum having to do with that very issue, but I just have to get this out.

I'm an 18 year old girl with extreme SB & raging hormones. Which is a combination that many of you know can only lead to pain/frustration. I want the physical presense of a boyfriend so much, that my desire consumes me everyday, everywhere I go. I feel like breaking down or screaming whenever I see couples my age holding hands or kissing. I feel like, why them & not me? I can't even watch romantic movies/tv shows anymore without tumbling into a deep depression & crying until I can't cry anymore.

The only boy who has ever approached me, I had to turn down because he just wasn't my type. I wasn't physically or otherwise attracted to him. I'm so afraid that the only boys that will ever approach me will be unattractive. Because, it seems like every boy I find attractive, doesn't even know I exist, while every less-appealing guy out there seems to like me for whatever reason. I feel like if only the less-attractive guys think I'm pretty, than that means I'm not good enough to be considered beautiful by attractive guys, if that makes any sense to anyone. Either that, or guys just won't approach me at all.

I feel like I'm going to be alone the rest of my life. That I'll actually become a 40-year old virgin, than a 50-year old one, & so on. I simply can't take this anymore. I feel like I'm going to explode. I need love in my life to feel truly happy, & I can honestly say I've never been truly happy.

I'm such a sexual person, that sometimes I feel abnormal. I can't go a day without masturbating, or talking to someone on msn about sexual things...all of which, only fuel my desire more.

& it's not just the sex I crave, but the love. The love more than anything. If it was just sex without love, I wouldn't be happy at all.

People keep telling me to be patient. That it will happen. But they don't understand. I CAN'T wait any longer. I've been waiting all my life, & I've reached my breaking point.

& the worst part is, I don't know how to change my situation. I can't approach guys (or anyone, really), & even if a guy I liked approached me, I wouldn't know how to act or what to say at all. The only time my true self comes out is online, or when I'm around my dad. I've never been able to reveal myself completely, to someone. I just don't know how, & that fact is killing me.

I can't go on like this. I don't know what to do or where to turn. :cry:
 
Videotape

Videotape

Well-known member
i'm in the same boat as you...turned 19 today and have never had a relationship, turned down the most perfect girl this year cause my social anxiety is that bad...fuck i'm frustrated.
 
Ventrilo

Ventrilo

Well-known member
#1 you're only 18 so it's not like you're that old, or out of the norm. I'm just exiting the norm (being almost 20) without ever dating anyone. I obviously have no experience and like you am grim about my future but i want to give you hope. If there's one thing i've learned about courting is that males are supposed to be the hunters. You're not supposed to pursue guys, even though i know it's changed since 100 years ago it's still the case that guys pursue girls, if you can actually imagine being with a guy and not get too nervous i'm absolutely certain you'll find someone eventually. My only tip to you, is probably depressing to many and is offensive but i really don't see any girls who are actually unattractive unless they're quite a bit overweight. And losing weight is really not hard. Being sexual is another plus, not just cause guys love sex but guys love girls who love sex. Ironically guys also love the thought of a virgin...

I really can't stress that if you think it's possible it will happen in your case. I don't think it's possible in my case which is why it won't.
 
C

chris87

Well-known member
I'm 20, and I've never had a relationship. I'm kind of sad about the whole situation, but I try not to worry about it too much.
 
noblame4

noblame4

Well-known member
I've felt your pain girl, haha.

When I was 18 I eye-raped every peice of male that innocently wondered into my feild of vision. Oh, the horrible things I did to that clerk at books-a-million! Everywhere I went I left a trail of men feeling inexplicably dirty and violated. :lol:

As far as hot guy conundrum goes, you might try going on a date with a dude your not instantly lusting over, give average a try. It might sound silly but people grow on you. After you get to know them you start noticing things that appeal to you physically that you didnt notice before. Like "suddenly I feel like I want to bite that nose off..." It happens!
 
Ventrilotwo

Ventrilotwo

Well-known member
if you're as cute as your display pic i actually just don't even begin to comprehend how you girls have any trouble finding guys... it's mind boggling... especially being that sexual, man that doesn't make sense -_-
 
madeup

madeup

Active member
I remember being in your shoes.

Sounds like your attracted to what you can't have a little bit. In the sense that if there was two guys who were equally attractive and one showed interest in you and the other didn't, that you would be more attracted to the second guy.

I kind of have the same thing. If there's two girls and one isn't interested, I tend to feel like she has more value.

That's totally an illusion though. Try going out with a guy who shows interest in you... You don't have to marry the guy... Just try things out, start exploring.

If a guy shows interest in you... You don't have to do anything special, just be receptive and accepting and things will come together.
 
TAMPA-BAY

TAMPA-BAY

Well-known member
>

Thats an intresting coment by made up. Many times I turn down opurtunities because I feel like if I let the people I know hook me up on a blind date I will be stuck with them for life. This I know sounds silly but those are realy the kind of thoughs that go into my head.

Its hard for me to look at dating as just a date. I cant help my self from thinking that things has to be perfect but I am guessing its a form of perfectionist thinking.
 
7

70sgirl

Member
i so want to give you a hug! probably doesnt help much, i know. when i was your age i think i was the same way. my best advice, which me and my best friend always lived by and it never turned out wrong is to quit looking. be happy by yourself and boys will come to you. i swear it works. and ****, like the one guy said, guys like girls who like sex, so youre already ahead. and if not, youve accepted being alone for the time being so youll inevitably be happier (which translates to confident and/or mysterious, both of which boys love) good luck (and stop looking, im serious!)
 
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