1 year on after uni

[Shinigami]

Hey folks, its been a while since ive posted anything at all here, perhaps about a year, cant believe i remembered my user name!

At first i'll admit I was terrified, living in halls with 19 strangers. A big part of me was saying (no screaming inside) what the hell have you done!! I knew no-one not a single soul in that uni, let alone the town, never mind not being able to speak welsh. So after I nervously carried all my things to my new room and home for the next 12 months with my parents leaving I felt that this was the worst decision I had made...ever.

However my next decision might have been the best, sure it was insignificant to leave my door proped open, and strictly speaking against fire safety regualtions. But from that I had a knock, it was my neighbour (nooo really? what are the chances of that?!) he unbelievably seemed about as nervous as I did, we chatted for 10 mins. where your from, what course you doing? etc. But from that another person heard us, and she came out of the kitchen to talk with us. From these humble beginings we went from door to door saying hi, and having the usual introduction chit-chat. Within the week, the majority of my floor were going out as a group to the student union, then bars, pubs and eventually clubs.

By the end of a fortnight I felt pretty good about myself, I had quite a few friends, and I had said and done things which I never saw myself doing. An example is being able to introduce myself to strangers, able to ask the barman to use the pool table despite it having the cover on, even dancing (a bit reluctant to join in at first but still)! Small things, but ones none the less I noticed a marked improvement. I would still say im definately one of the quieter ones, and often still feel shy, or bad about myself but if I had made the effort to try out sport and more societies I think I could say I have managed to beat my shyness.

There were times in the year I felt less than great, but the majority of these moments I have come to relize have not been failures which sparked feeling gloomy but failures to risk a failure. If that makes sense?

But wow did I get my fair share of akward/embarrasing moments, although it does help you feel less out of place in the future. I think this is the first and foremost important step to be in situations you'd rather not!

Summary: If your going to uni to live in halls, leave your door open.

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This forum looks very different from last time, loads of new features! Nice to see the place busy for a change.

 

[market.garden]

That's great Shinigami. I had a pretty similar experience early on at university, our floor was so friendly with one another - everyone chatted, cooked, drank and went out together. I don't think anyones door was ever shut.

Do you still speak to your uni friends?

I'd have to say university was, despite the first few weeks, the worst time of my life though. Deleted from my phone everyone I knew there even though we lived together for 3 years. I think I only went to get a degree, and never fell for any of the bull**** that its a crazy 3 year long party.

 

[Shinigami]

I speak to at least half of them regulary, and through some of my and their societies i know a few more pretty well. All in all, not a bad first year for me really. Found it difficult to connect with people in lectures though, they all formed tribes within a week. Kinda felt odd if I sat out of place, it did sorta feel like i was invading their territory.

Im sorry to hear you had a tough time there, at least you got your degree. But i think i want to enjoy the social opportunities along the way, if I can adapt back to uni life after summer that is...that may be tricky.

 

[market.garden]

Just take what you learned from your first year and apply the right amount of determination and I'm sure the second will be as good as, if not better than the first.

I misunderstood your original post, I thought from the title you had finished uni. Sounds like its going well though from what you've said about the first year.

 

[Scrabbl]

Sounds like you had an awesome year.

My first year, where I lived in a dorm was definitely a positive one. It was life-changing. I don't regret my decision at all. My floor wasn't nearly as social as yours. Maybe it's bcause we had 50 people on the floor. But Im pretty sure if we were, I wouldn't have been able to handle it; it would've been too overwhelming for me.

I did come out of the first year with 2 close friends though. I've never had real friends like that, in high school or elementary. So it was a huge step forward, for me.

And I know what you mean about the cliques in lectures. Our class was very racially diverse - there are europeans, east asians, indians, people from middle east, north america, etc.. And we did a pretty good job at segregating ourselves into racial cliques, which I guess is inevitable lol.

And guess what, I get to live in dorm this sept again. I'm not that excited.. The thing is,. I consider the introductions at the beginning of the term the easy part. I'm intimidated by most people I meet though. I just can't loosen up around them; no amount of acceptance and affection from their part will break the ice.

I should probably be more optimistic about it though.

 

[Shinigami]

Nope im far from finished, another two years to go. Only when I go back the work load will proberly be worse, and it looks like i'll have to give a presentation or two. I did do one last year in my tutorial group, and that was difficult, but in front of an audience a whole crowd, it makes me nervous just thinking about it. But I suppose thats nothing compared to been put on the spot to answer questions at the end of the talk, by not only your peers but by the lecturers themselves.

As for my old flatmates, well there were many arguments and grudges going on that year. Not with me, but amounst each other and usually it all kicked off just outside my door at 4 in the morning. But during the holidays the ones i know very well live far away, although there is facebook, msn etc. but that doesnt quite make up for it ya'know? My friends at home if anything are shyer than myself and the ones that were'nt have moved on, what with work, or their families moving.

I can relate to not opening up to people, I had and still have issues with that. There are a few though I can trust, but they tend to be few and far between. Ive often felt quite paranoid about what others think of me, yet i think im a bit better than I was in not giving anyone the chance of getting to know me.