D
deleted #89
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common assumptions and their corrections :
" 1. I cannot be in public because I am not perfect: Actually, nobody is perfect. And you may be a victim of being in your own way with this assumption. Self-perception is often distorted, so it perpetuates the problem to isolate.
2. People will notice my imperfections: People may notice them, but most people are so much more interested in their own projections, that they are far more interested in themselves than in your imperfections. The reality is that it is not “people” who are always looking at your imperfections; it is you. So ease up on yourself.
3. People will be able to tell how nervous I am socially: Sure, they may be able to tell this, but so what? Are they really worth your altering your life in such a dramatic way that it is so disruptive? Besides, there are medications available that can take the edge of and help you feel les anxious.
4. I have nothing to say to people and they will sense my disinterest: Many, many people have nothing to say to start with. You will be surprised how simply saying this may actually start a good conversation. You can start a conversation by saying that you had reservations coming to an event but decided to not be presumptuous and come anyway.
5. Social anxiety often stems from a belief that you are not “enough” in some way: the sensation of not being enough often comes from the anxiety that disrupts your sense of self. This anxiety fragments your self-concept. The reality is that “enough” does not exist and that you are likely at least as “enough” as anybody else.
So what can you do to deal with this?
1. Stop isolating. Instead, consult with a psychiatrist or your primary care physician to see if medication may help take the edge off.
2. If you are opposed to medication, know that there are many therapies out there that can be very effective. Ask your psychiatrist about CBT and metacognitive therapy as a start. A longer-term psychodynamic therapy is usually also helpful.
3. Once you’ve addressed extreme anxiety with one of the above, reconfigure your self-concept and reflect on the points above. This will help you direct your attention away from yourself toward other people.
4. Do not expect that the fears will go away immediately. Recognize that many of them are unconscious and will take time to “find”.
5. Overcoming your fears is definitely possible and has been achieved by many people. But this is not an overnight process.
" 1. I cannot be in public because I am not perfect: Actually, nobody is perfect. And you may be a victim of being in your own way with this assumption. Self-perception is often distorted, so it perpetuates the problem to isolate.
2. People will notice my imperfections: People may notice them, but most people are so much more interested in their own projections, that they are far more interested in themselves than in your imperfections. The reality is that it is not “people” who are always looking at your imperfections; it is you. So ease up on yourself.
3. People will be able to tell how nervous I am socially: Sure, they may be able to tell this, but so what? Are they really worth your altering your life in such a dramatic way that it is so disruptive? Besides, there are medications available that can take the edge of and help you feel les anxious.
4. I have nothing to say to people and they will sense my disinterest: Many, many people have nothing to say to start with. You will be surprised how simply saying this may actually start a good conversation. You can start a conversation by saying that you had reservations coming to an event but decided to not be presumptuous and come anyway.
5. Social anxiety often stems from a belief that you are not “enough” in some way: the sensation of not being enough often comes from the anxiety that disrupts your sense of self. This anxiety fragments your self-concept. The reality is that “enough” does not exist and that you are likely at least as “enough” as anybody else.
So what can you do to deal with this?
1. Stop isolating. Instead, consult with a psychiatrist or your primary care physician to see if medication may help take the edge off.
2. If you are opposed to medication, know that there are many therapies out there that can be very effective. Ask your psychiatrist about CBT and metacognitive therapy as a start. A longer-term psychodynamic therapy is usually also helpful.
3. Once you’ve addressed extreme anxiety with one of the above, reconfigure your self-concept and reflect on the points above. This will help you direct your attention away from yourself toward other people.
4. Do not expect that the fears will go away immediately. Recognize that many of them are unconscious and will take time to “find”.
5. Overcoming your fears is definitely possible and has been achieved by many people. But this is not an overnight process.
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