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I feel a bit better now

And now I am blaming myself why I’m so sensitive. How come others can easily get along well with other people. Why am I born to be like this who can’t express myself well with people, who’s such an easy target for bullying and easily misunderstood. I know that team leader was wrong to do that...

My shift was crap today. And I felt like I’ve been blamed for some mistake that I made because I never knew about that ‘thing’. And my colleagues were nice to teach me about it but I was thinking so many things at once that I was giving them a blank expression still absorbing the new...

Finally I can have my off at the end of this day. Contrary to what I’ve mentioned before, I worked today because they offered me a shift. I can’t say no. That is still moolah for me. So I can tolerate 1 more work day and I’ll have my 2 days off starting tom. Today’s not too bad. I feel more...

I’m suspecting this is really hormonal. I’m being extra sensitive today. One of my nice colleague said she’ll be retiring soon. And now I’m here at my break drinking coffee and I suddenly remembered what she said and I felt seriously crying right now... which is silly because I’ve only met her...

Last night, the butterflies in my stomach kept on going. It’s been like this for 2 days, actually more than that but it’s been worse these past 2 days. I’ve been taking comfort from food which I hate because I had lost weight and now my previous effort had been wasted. I’ve been ordering Uber...

I have survived today. My anxiety hasn’t gone. I think it got worse because now my mind’s playing back how awkward I was at work this morning. I have work again tom. I am planning not to pick any shifts after that atleast for 3 days so I can recuperate. This must be some hormonal sht again.

Ugh I’m having an anxiety attack again. I can’t do what I am supposed to do when my brain is doing this. I have a shift to that other job tomorrow and because I haven’t worked there for a week, that anxious feeling is back. 😭 Nothing can relieve this feeling until tomorrow comes. My off day is...

Well well well... for a change I’m posting here not because I have to rant something but because I am bored. So let me share my thoughts at the moment. I realized that my anxiety these days have been more manageable. I figured out it has something to do with social distancing. I know it sucks...

So just an update about my previous post. Surprise suprise one of them actually apologized to me. That person heard me and a newbie sharing our experiences about unsupportive and bitchy staff. I think she recognized herself and asked that newbie whom we are talking about. I didn’t mention any...

Ahhh I dunno I still feel fake like she just posted and tagged us with an I love you quote and I could not even reply an I love you back like the others did. I just sent a 3 hearts emoticon so I’m not directly saying the words but I’m not ignoring her either. Anyway, thanks for the kind words.

I have a confession. I am a terrible person. I know one colleague who is suffering from CA. That person is a part of my HS clique but we are not really close. She’s struggling financially due to medical finances and I’ve always contributed for her funds. I also give her words of strength and...

I think people are getting more complacent now that we’re flattening the curve. However, I feel like this is a calm before the storm with the approaching winter.

I’m a homebody so it’s not a big deal for me. However, I still miss our family dine out or casual strolling during off days. Jobwise, my second job cancelled all my shifts for next week and would be informed till further notice. We are still in the initial phase of this covid situation so I’m...

So I’m back. Regarding my new work, I’m not as super anxious as before. I still spend like 15mins in the toilet before shift because of ‘nature’s calling’ (it became a morning habit lol) and also because I prefer the sanctuary of being alone instead of waiting in the staff room. The positive...

lol Pug thanks for the laugh. At first I thought it was a random ad. 😆

My confidence at my new job is getting a bit better. It helps that people here are very helpful and approachable. Having said that, my anxiety still kicks in every start of the shift and even the night before. It is still that bad. The positive thing is that I am getting more comfortable with...

Butterflies in my stomach again. Shift’s starting soon. Jeez when will days like this end?

I suddenly found the right word to describe this feeling. The feeling of Inadequacy I feel like an inadequate low life being in social situations.

My frequent posting says it all. I’m not ok. I thought I was fine yesterday at work. It was pretty busy. I did alright. But at the end of the day my social anxiety gave me that uncomfortable feeling again. I can’t explain it properly but I always have this pressure to ‘react’ or ‘make small...