Replaced by Close Friend

The Lost

Well-known member
How do you deal with it? I mean, if you're slowly being replaced, do you speed it up by cutting all ties with your friend before they do? or confront them and tell them how you feel?
 

SmartyPants

Active member
How do you deal with it? I mean, if you're slowly being replaced, do you speed it up by cutting all ties with your friend before they do? or confront them and tell them how you feel?

It's really painful isn't it. To think that the person you were really close to is moving closer towards someone else. Have they just met this person? Can you avoid cutting them off completely and just give them some space for as long as they need and then they'll come back to you? It would be a shame if you lost a friend that means a lot to you, I think.
 

The Lost

Well-known member
How do you know you are being replaced?

The friend I'm talking about is not very social, and like me has never had many friends. I was his only friend for about 8 years, and vice-versa. For the past few years we've chatted irl and online most days (when contact became easier). A few months back he made friends with some guy, which over time has been more obvious, and whenever I've met up with my friend, this new guy has been there. As a result, the time we've spent chatting has dramatically decreased. At first it was paranoia, but it's been a gut feeling I've had for ages, and during the past couple of weeks especially I've seen a change in my friend's behaviour towards me - now he's more distant than ever.
 

The Lost

Well-known member
It's really painful isn't it. To think that the person you were really close to is moving closer towards someone else. Have they just met this person? Can you avoid cutting them off completely and just give them some space for as long as they need and then they'll come back to you? It would be a shame if you lost a friend that means a lot to you, I think.

He met them a few months back, but already they've spent a lot of time together. Thing is, I've tired giving it a break, but I'm frequently on my own, so having him there is really important, more so than he thinks. No idea what to do.
 

truffleshuffle

Well-known member
I hope its not the case because It would be hard to lose a close friend like that but maybe he likes spending time with both of you guys. and you are just taking it hard having to split him with another friend?
 

JohnDee

Active member
The one thing I can say is that after knowing someone for years it gets a bit stale, bear through it, you wont lose him.
 

Hellhound

Super Moderator
I'd point it out first. If they deny it, apologize and then do it again, or BAWW about it, then it's time to tell them off.

It happened to me not too long ago. But I didn't feel anything because the friendship was dying out slowly, so it wasn't as painful as a sudden break up.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I've been replaced more than once, and it is really painful. :sad: Happened quite recently too, lost a best friend of over 10 years and a best guy friend of 6 years. I do understand it's hard to keep friendships once you all are a distance away from each other going to different schools, and I understand there will be some drifting. I tried to hang on though. I tried talking to them more, but they basically found new friends elsewhere. After so much trying, I basically accepted the fact that I had been replaced and I eventually cut ties completely.

I know that may have not been the best way to handle those situations, but what else could I do? It's not that I didn't try at all, but it just seems like no matter what I did, it was doomed. :sad:
 

1BlackSheep

Well-known member
How do you deal with it? I mean, if you're slowly being replaced, do you speed it up by cutting all ties with your friend before they do? or confront them and tell them how you feel?
I think talking about it sometimes works, but there are cases where you just need to let the friendship go because you've drifted too far apart and no longer have much in common. This happened to me with a friend I'd known for 30 years. It was hard because I missed the good times that we'd shared, but it was getting to the point where we both changed so much and were almost different people than before.
 
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