Really agoraphobia?

lunsa

New member
Hi.
Is it really agoraphobia when someone does go out daily? I seem to be suffering from this terrible disorder, but I do go out on a daily basis, since I have no other choice but to starve.
But most days, it is simply horrible. I`m not going to describe the feelings I experience, I am guessing everyone on this forum knows what I am talking about.
I should also mention that there was a time when I took the train and traveled to another city by myself. I was scared at first, but what kept me going was the fact that I kept thinking how much I hated the place where Iwas living at the time, and how being on that train was the only way to change that.
Also, last year, after many failed attempts, I did manage to go to the mall and enjoy a normal shopping session, like normal people. I had a few of those, then summer came and I got scared of going out again, because of the unglodly heat.
Now I kind of seesaw back and forth between days where it`s not that terrible to go to the supermarket, which is a couple of blocks over, and feeling like I`d rather cut off an arm than have to go through that panic again.
I don`t understand what happened to me. I used to enjoy going out, being outside. I even used to walk to the other side of the city to see my friends, and it`s a pretty big city.
Then life happened and I experienced disappointment after disappointment and I took to keeping to myself for the most part. I stopped going out and one day I realized I was scared of being outside. There were no physical symptoms, just a thought that Ishould head back home or else I might get a panic attack in public.
I forgot to mention I`ve been tortured by panic attacks,on and off, for almost a decade now.
I am scared to be outside, not necessarily because I`ll get a panic attack, I can handle those. What terrifies me is the idea that others will see me having one and I`ll embarras myself.
Another thing I`ve noticed is that I invite, as nuts as this sounds, the fear of being outside to come to me, even before I am outside, and that`s because at least this way, there`s no chance it will attack when I least expect it.
My mother says I simply do not want to get out of this situation. She says she experienced the same thing, but that she had no choice but to go to work, and that`s how she overcame it.
My former therapiest, when I told her about my problem, told me to "stop acting like a scared child and start acting like an adult." She also said I was keeping myself in prison and that it was up to me to overcome this.
I read recently that agoraphobia never goes away completely and this terrified me. I NEED to find a way to make it dissapear. I have wishes, dreams, things I want to accomplish.
 
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hoddesdon

Well-known member
Agoraphobia can go away completely. My mother was house-bound for 13 years due to agoraphobia. She was able to do that - she did not have to get a job. It did go away completely a long time ago now, and, in fact, it went away overnight.
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
I think the usual phase before Agoraphobia sets in is usually Panic Disorder. For some people it develops into Agoraphobia and they stop leaving their homes in fear of more panic attacks.

I say that I've been agoraphobic since my first year of highschool, but there were times it was worse (and I didn't leave my room for 2 whole years) and times it nearly went away (where I could function almost normally and even go to college and work full time)
It always seems to come back to me though.

I wouldn't worry so much about the label-- let doctors worry about that.
 
Hey I can relate, I have been agoraphobic for about 3 years. It started when I was 15 yrs old, i quit school, could not go to the supermarket, because I was terrified of getting a panic attack at the mall with the people around me, being afraid of them.I avoided many places as I could, suffered 3 years of being home bound.

Now in this year, I made a huge change, It's a mind change, I changed by just going and face my fears as much as I can, I'm so much willing to accomplish my dreams, like you want as well, and now I push myself into it.
I'm very strict to myself, cuz I need that, If I keep on telling myself I cannot do it because I'm agoraphobic, it won't get me anywhere.

Now I listen to my heart and think of the dreams I want to reach.
I may not be able to do everything like other people do without sa/agoraphobia,But I can still do more than I think, because I suprised a lot of people this year.I travel by bus and train again, my girlfriend helped me through this.
I go to the mall, supermarket, I go to restaurants with friends, I just want to do it!

I follow group therapy 3 hours per week, so I can talk about it.
I'm going to start school in september, so I have enough of time to make myself ready for it, and I'm going to participate in an activity center, for people who are at home, and have no thing to do at daytime.
So I have something to do, in a group too, btw, so I can practice before school starts, like how it feels like to be around people.

Still I have a huge fear of having panic attacks in public, and being around people or being in the center of attention, it really freaks me out.
But I just ignore the thought, and just go through all of this pain, even though it makes me so afraid of doing it, but I want it, I don't want to be homebound the rest of my life, till I grow old. This thought makes me even more afraid then being around people, because I don't want to reach nothing in my life, that makes me dissapointed and sad. So, I will prove the difference, I will fight even harder to get out of the house and just faace my fears.

Still I'm in the middle of it, I have no social life yet, I do have great friends which make me feel supported, but I really wish to go studying, I can't wait till September, wake me up , when september starts ;p j/k.
I've had enough of tiring days sitting at home, being depressed about sitting at home, I'm ready for a change.

I hope I'll encourage the people with agoraphobia, to just keep fighting, and I know at some point you just cannot see a way out, because you are too afraid of going outside, I've been there, I couldn't escape, and thought I'll be like this forever, but since i've came to realisation of ending up nowhere, I just needed to force myself, but I know for some people this is too hard.
But keep this in mind, and think of the things you want to do in your life, and try to think of your willing mind, and not your avoidance you want to do over and ove ragain, you even want things more than normal people do, because you need to fight for it, show them what you can, and i think people with agoraphobia, could do more than they ever thought, because they missed it, when you missed something in your life, you know how bad you want it, and this make you fight so har,d that you will achieve more than normal people, but it's just the way to get there, it's hard for us.

Keep fighting
 
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DespairSoul

Well-known member
Hello Lunsa,

I'm in very similar situation. I would rather also cut my hand off as go to shop behind corner yep. Well though i tried hard last week and i went twice. Treatment which i started not long time ago help me do so. Well i have hard times go only with trash or reach mail box. Also Saskia was on those point and look at her now how she is brave and do it hard very hard things. I think anyone have some chances to overcome it. Is of course individual. I wont lie if i would say we all here have the same chances. Also genetic disposition play role in the field of those mental illness. I fear if i go out people will judge me and i will make some awkward things. Like fall coz my legs don't want walk where i want go. Small chest and hard breading,sweating. Also shaking hands is my issue if i'm really very anxious they start do so and i think others see it and this make me feeling very bad about it. I have issues even open window(coming closer and look down from window is very hard for me because i don't want someone see me nerves looking weirdo there lol). I try go now at least go out 2 times per week. My advice for u try participate by some therapy and meet people on daily basis.
 
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Scooter

Well-known member
You sound textbook actually. Agoraphobia is not only the inability to go places but also enduring public places under intense anxiety/distress.
In saying that, you sound like you have a really good understanding of your conditions and that's a really good place to start.
I don't know if it ever goes away completely, but people learn when (and when not) to push themselves, and ways to cope and manage it.
It is up to you work at it, but it's rubbish that you can just overcome it when you decide to act like an adult. What a thoughtless thing to say to someone with Agoraphobia!
There are really therapies around, the major factor is finding a therapist that you trust.
Good luck :)
 
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