Pigs are flying! I have a date! Maybe? Help!

Move along...nothing to see here.

I can understand your anxiety in this situation. But, if you don't give it a try, how will you find out the answers to all of your questions? Consider it a learning experience, and proceed with a little bit of caution.

Absolutely_Sweet_Marie said:

I can understand your anxiety in this situation. But, if you don't give it a try, how will you find out the answers to all of your questions? Consider it a learning experience, and proceed with a little bit of caution.

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Very true! I do intend on rolling with it despite my fear. Thanks!

There's a few things that concern me about his behaviours... firstly, the lack of anything on his Facecrap wall. Even myself, who is about as socially-dead as the best of them, still finds occasion to toss up a link to a news article or cute kitty meme. But absolutely nothing since 2011? That just spells suspicious to me. Either he went through and deleted everything, to be rid of reminders of a bad break-up or some such, fell so hard into the bottle that two years have flown by, or something else happened that meant he couldn't access the social-networks (ie jail/psychiatric incarceration)...

Secondly, however, an extrovert probably wouldn't allow so much time to pass by before texting/messaging, especially a contact on a dating site that was showing interest. It could be that he was being truthful about being dragged to clubs and winding up dead drunk to tolerate the atmosphere... but if he lives alone and is drinking, then that might hint to problems he's not being truthful about.

I wouldn't really suggest going so far out of your own area to meet this guy, though. If he was interested enough, then he'd travel to your location, and not the other way around. Play a little more hard-to-get; maybe even officially cancel the plans to see how bad his anger-response will be. If he's understanding, compassionate, and caring, then he'll let it slide and offer to re-schedule the date to a time that would better suit you.


And don't worry about the never-been-kissed thing. That kind of stuff comes later, when you're comfortable enough with your partner, and a decent level of trust has been established.

Take it slow, and try not to push yourself into a potentially dangerous situation. >.<

Not saying its the same as him,but I dread entering facebook,while I am there its no big deal,but after I log out its pretty hard to log in again,I too dont enter since around 2011,if you are curious just ask him why,if you are curious about the date just ask him too.

I'm probably wrong and I hope I am but it sounds to me like he is very indecisive and/or he says he don't like doing stuff but he does it anyway. Weird. And it sounds to me like he more-or-less stood you up for the date. Maybe I'm wrong. It sounds like you're insecure about your relationship/sexual experience BUT, while I can't speak for every man, I view that as a positive thing. A very positive thing. You sound like a great girl and I hope you find a great guy on that website. Maybe it's the one you speak of?

DepravedFurball said:

There's a few things that concern me about his behaviours... firstly, the lack of anything on his Facecrap wall. Even myself, who is about as socially-dead as the best of them, still finds occasion to toss up a link to a news article or cute kitty meme. But absolutely nothing since 2011? That just spells suspicious to me. Either he went through and deleted everything, to be rid of reminders of a bad break-up or some such, fell so hard into the bottle that two years have flown by, or something else happened that meant he couldn't access the social-networks (ie jail/psychiatric incarceration)...


Take it slow, and try not to push yourself into a potentially dangerous situation. >.<

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Very good points erfect:

In addition to not having any FB activity since 2011 and the potential danger of meeting someone so far away, I'm a little concerned about his drinking. Even though he says he's past the heavy drinking stage in his life, I have some doubts. He talks about needing to be drunk in order to deal with being at a pub then he texts an apology about how he was drunk when he talked to you about a date. Not to be pessimistic but there are some red flags there. Proceed with caution on this one. If you go out on a date with him, make sure your friends and/or family know where you are supposed to be.

If all is well with him (and I sincerely hope it is), don't worry about your inexperience. It would actually be refreshing for most guys his age to date someone who's attractive but hasn't been with a ton of other guys.

Please keep us posted if you feel up to it.

Don't know much in the area of dating. Good luck. Yeah I can agree with outsider on the red flags. Though I guess you can always give him a shot right? *shrug*

If time spent on Facebook is a sign of your worth as a person, I seriously don't want to live in this world anymore. Sometimes the only way to find out about people is to look at who they are and not judge them by their perceived faults. It's up to you whether you can accept them or not... there are no universal rules to this sort of thing.