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Old 06-18-2009
newguy1985's Avatar
Newbie User

My coworker asked me to staple a big pile of papers today and i was like "Noooooooooo"....I was just being sarcastic, im a overly nice shy person and I do most things for most people just to get acceptance. I was gonna smile and do it.

Then I looked over and saw that she had her own stapler so I was like "you have your own stapler". I only said it to find out why she wanted me to staple her papers but in the middle of my sentence, my tone changed and got kidna rude because the truth was, I was tired and feelign like crap and didnt feel like stapling anyone elses papers.

Turns out her stapler wasnt as big as mine to handle the thick stack of papers so she said "fine ok dont worry about it".

We talked throughout the day like usual and it was obvious that she got offeneded becasue she wasnt as open or friendly as usual. And she woudl joke about how I had offended her......but she wasnt mad enough that I should apologize.

anyway, i really wish i could just let it go. the situation is not serious enough to apologize but i'm EXTREMELY sensitive to things like these and it ruins my entire day. I keep thinking about how horrible it is for her to tell my other coworkers and have them all form negative opinions of me. I spent 2 hours worrying about this and am unable to do anything else I enjoy.

I just wanted to vent to let myself feel better.
newguy1985 is offline  
Old 06-19-2009

I usually experience this kind of obsession after a social event. I'll drink too much beforehand, then once I show up, I'll inevitably have some sort of forced, jocular interaction with someone which leads to me saying something that I feel is inappropriate, irrelevant, or downright stupid. Then I'll agonize over it for hours afterwards as I sober up, oftentimes in the days following as well, thinking what a dickhead I must've sounded like.

The truth is that nobody really cares about what you said. It's rarely a big deal to the recipient - they mostly don't even remember the interaction at all. So I think it's important to try to separate yourself from that obsession by recognizing that it's happening and then trying to let go once you're aware that you're doing it.
Kinetik is offline  
Old 06-19-2009
recluse's Avatar
Elite User

I've snapped on workmates on a few occasions. It's just that the workplace is stressed enviroment and it makes people prone to do it.
recluse is offline  
Old 06-19-2009
newguy1985's Avatar
Newbie User

well i do have ocd and sa. and usually i would think about stuff like "omg was that offensive" but in my mind i KNOW it is a ridicious thought.

this situation was a little different. it was offensive. while it is true that i may have exgrraated the level of rudeness it was rude. I really wish i coudl let it go. this happened over 24 hrs ago and i still think about it every 10mins or so, re inacting every moment and tone of voice to identify the degree of rudeness.

I also feel really really bad guilt about all this.
newguy1985 is offline  
Old 06-20-2009

That sounds exactly like something I'd do, I'll try to be Mr. Sarcasm but just end up sounding genuinely ****-ish. The other person gets over it easily enough but I, the perceived "aggressor" am still punishing myself for it long after they've forgotten the incident. This is even worse on the internet where there's no tone of voice to tell you you're reading sarcasm.

Also, now there are stapler ads on the site.
Riptor is offline  
Old 06-21-2009
RND_CHR's Avatar
Newbie User

Dude, you should apologize if you're feeling bad. When you apologize, and talk to her about it in a direct way, you'll realize that it really wasn't a big deal and then you'll feel so much better. You could be like, "hey, things have seemed different between us since I was rude to you about the stapler, I just wanted to appologize for what I said to you. I hope I wasn't being rude to you." Just do it and see what happens. And dont' worry about saying that to a coworker.
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