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Old 01-20-2018
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From my past experience normal guys without SA or avoidant personality disorder look down and think strange of girls like me..loners who dont have friends with no hobbies and someone who likes to be home all the time....this happens to be quite true when my family set me up on blind dates with random guys they know......i just get hurt and hurt...have any ofyou guys or girls been on blind dates with normal folks and got judged bc of your sa?
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Old 01-20-2018
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I wouldn't dislike a girl because she's a loner, but then again, I'm not normal - I'm a loner. I've only been on two dates. One was a blind date when I was younger and I couldn't think of anything to say. So I'm sure she judged me for that. And the other date I did talk more but I feel she probably thought I was boring.
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Old 01-21-2018
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I wouldn't say it's a matter of being a loner or not, but a matter of how emotionally stable you'd be in a relationship. Let's say you got in a relationship with a guy who was also a loner. That way you could balance each other out and push yourselves to meet new people and get into all sorts of activities (together or not). You'd either motivate each other or be constantly needy and no one would have any personal space.

Ask yourself how emotionally stable you'd be if you started dating a very outgoing guy with lots of friends and a lively social life. Would you feel jealous every time he'd hang out with other people or go to a dinner party once every few days instead of hanging out with you all the time? Or would you motivate him and insist he did the things he likes?

Relationships are great, but before you get into a relationship, you should not only consider these hypotheticals, but also making friends first, either through things you enjoy doing as hobbies, volunteer work, regular work, at the gym, at school, etc.
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Old 01-22-2018
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I'd be fine with a girl like that. Every girl I've ever been involved with has pretty much been outgoing/sociable so it never worked out since I'm the opposite. I rarely leave my house either, I have a few hobbies (but most would probably call them nerdy ones anyways) and I have one friend IRL who I don't hang out with nearly as much anymore so my situation is very similar to yours.
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Old 01-22-2018
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I'd be fine with a girl who was fairly anti-social.
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Old 01-22-2018
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A couple weeks ago I watched a biopic on Babe Ruth, and they documented his first marriage in the film. Babe was like someone who liked to go out all the time, whether it was to drink and dance or go to the movies and grab a bite to eat. He liked to be out an about with other people. His wife, on the other hand, liked to stay home and tend the farm. She liked quiet evenings sitting in her home curled up by the fire with a book. A "loner" you might say.

The relationship did not end up working, and they split up. It wasn't because Babe didn't like his wife, in fact the film showed him caring very deeply for her and liking her quite a bit. But the relationship didn't work out because they weren't a good match.

Now I know that film was a dramatization and should be taken with a grain of salt, but I think the idea that people with very different personalities may not be a great match can hold true. I don't think 'normal guys' look down on 'loners' (most of them at least) but they may recognize that s relationship may not work out between them. I know if I dated someone who wanted me to go out and party every night would not go well at all - I wouldn't want to.

I would say, if you're happy with your 'loner' status, I think there would be someone out there who shares the same mentality. I for one prefer being on my own most of the time, and I know I'm not the only guy in the world who feels that way. Whether or not guys like me are "normal", well, is anyone really normal?
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Old 01-22-2018
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You're a guy? I assumed you were the pretty girl in your picture.
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Old 01-23-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kuurt View Post
You're a guy? I assumed you were the pretty girl in your picture.
What picture?..if you mean the one i had up for a few secs yesterday...ya thats me...
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Old 01-23-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikazuki1590 View Post
I'd be fine with a girl like that. Every girl I've ever been involved with has pretty much been outgoing/sociable so it never worked out since I'm the opposite. I rarely leave my house either, I have a few hobbies (but most would probably call them nerdy ones anyways) and I have one friend IRL who I don't hang out with nearly as much anymore so my situation is very similar to yours.
You know...Im actually very afraid of meeting up with " normal" guys bc im always afraid of them asking what my hobbies are and i dont have any...and they always ask me what i do on the weekends etc etc..but i guess girls are more understanding bc it seems like they dont really care you never leave the house and such..
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Old 01-23-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kuurt View Post
You're a guy? I assumed you were the pretty girl in your picture.
While in real life my hair is as long as some pretty girls, a girl I am not. You're not the first person to think I was Fiona Apple though, and I don't think you'll be the last either. A great compliment to me that would be, but quite the insult to her
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Old 01-23-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oNecoOlazN View Post
From my past experience normal guys without SA or avoidant personality disorder look down and think strange of girls like me..loners who dont have friends with no hobbies and someone who likes to be home all the time....this happens to be quite true when my family set me up on blind dates with random guys they know......i just get hurt and hurt...have any ofyou guys or girls been on blind dates with normal folks and got judged bc of your sa?
If I may, I think maybe the fact that you have no hobbies have more to do with guys not being interested than the fact that you are a loner. I may be wrong, but your post makes it sound like you're not doing much. Which is fine if you're happy this way, but it doesn't give you much to say in a conversation, so it probably makes you a little boring in a blind date. So you could either try to develop some hobbies that would give you some conversation material, especially if you're actually bored in your life, or if you're happy without hobbies and don't want to change anything, you can hope to find someone more like you who doesn't need to be entertained during a blind date.
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Old 01-23-2018
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I'm gonna be completely honest right now. For the past 21 years, I have had no relationship with any guy in my life at all. Personally, I wouldn't care for one. I mean, sure, maybe there's a possibility of me changing my mind, but I really have felt no urge to seek out a relationship. In fact, I probably might sound harsh by saying this, but I don't even like half the guys who show interest in me. Some of them have a tendency of making me feel uncomfortable. I end up either turning the other way or respectfully let them down easy. I know...I'm a ****.... but I'd like to have every bit of my solitude. It's just the way I like to live my life.
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Old 01-24-2018
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i like your signature. dear Father God, i know oNecoOlazN would like to be in a relationship, i pray you help her in that. You know who would be right for her in jesus' name. Amen

Last edited by lily; 01-24-2018 at 02:43 AM.
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