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Old 09-17-2013
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I guess I've had a lot to worry about lately and I've been dealing with some depression but I can't say I've experienced panic attacks before, this is totally new for me.

I've had some minor health issues and I've slowly been recovering, but every time I start feeling a possible symptom or discomfort....I just freak the hell out and think that something is wrong with me. The first time this happened, my eye started twitching bad and it lasted for several days and caused me to feel very dizzy and off balanced. I didn't eat much and felt afraid of moving, causing me to barely leave the house. I saw a doctor twice and I was told it was probably just a viral ear infection or labyrinthitis. I had some relief after that, and after 3 weeks I started feeling good again....didn't have dizziness and regained my appetite.

Last night I was watching TV with my boyfriend, and I must've been thinking about something (I don't remember what) and I suddenly started feeling so panicky. My heart was racing and I burst out crying. I was totally shaky, tense and felt sick to my stomach. The feeling was so scary to me. In the moment I knew that I was okay, but I felt like I was dying. It took several hours for me to calm down. I just felt so awful because I was crying so much and telling him that I felt like I was never going to be happy again. I just felt totally crazy and couldn't understand why it was happening.

Today I feel a bit better but I started having slight panicky feelings again. This might be a TMI, but I feel like the past few times this has happened....it occurred right before my period. I've had crappy PMS feelings before but never this bad. I guess I might go see a doctor again but I'm worried I won't be able to explain myself well or I will just get brushed off. I just can't tell if I might still possible have a virus thing going on or some type of hormonal thing. It's just so confusing to me and I wasn't really like this before the ear thing started.

I keep trying to work towards bettering myself (becoming more independent, finding a good job, making more friends) but I feel like this is a major road block and it's hard to picture achieving any of that in my current mental state.

I'm not sure what I'm asking here but I just wanted to vent a bit, I've talked to several friends and my boyfriend but I don't think they understand well and aren't sure what to say to me. Sorry if my typing is bad but my thoughts are kind of scattered.
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Old 09-18-2013
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Yeah, I also realize my mood swings a lot especially before my period. I can cry for no apparent reason, get really grumpy, and just act very moody in general. I think PMS makes SA and other problems 10X worse.
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Old 09-18-2013
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I had panic attacks for seven years. I know how intensely scary they can be. The most frightening thing I have ever experienced. The panic lost its power when I knew it couldn't kill me, I wasn't dieing.
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