Hornetboy
Active member
Hello, everyone.
I am afflicted with social phobia/social anxiety disorder (SAD). I stay inside my small one-bedroom apartment 99% of the time because of the crippling effects of my SAD. I have to literally force myself to do simple things which involve social interaction that most people take for granted such as going to the grocery store, talking on the phone, etc... My home is both my refuge and my prison.
I want to be around people because I desperately need that support and human contact. Yet, at the same time, I shun people because of my SAD. It is a "catch 22" for me. I am damned if I do and damned if I don't! The thing I need the most (social contact) is also the thing that causes me the most anxiety! This is waaaaay beyond mere shyness for me. This is living hell that I would not wish upon my worst enemy! My SAD gets in my way and causes me to isolate myself. It has screwed up my life because it has negatively impacted every single part of it. I HATE IT!!!
I don't really have any friends in real life. The contact which I have with my boyfriend (who lives with me) is the main real life human contact that I have... besides going to the grocery store. Everyone else who I care about (family and friends) live in different states. I keep in touch with them through emails. Also, I make the effort to call my dad on the phone once per month. I have an active social life online, but not in real life. Communicating with people online is where I feel the most comfortable. It is where I can be myself because I am behind a computer screen and not in front of a person. My SAD kicks my butt when I am around people (I am fine as long as I am not dealing with people!). I have good days and bad days with my SAD. My apartment and my computer are both my safety zones.
As a result of my SAD, I am just merely existing... NOT living! Being afflicted with SAD is no way to live! It is sad to say, but I might as well be dead. The reason why I am still alive is because I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would not take my own life and that I would never give up. This is a glimpse into my life living with SAD.
Despite the fact that I am isolated, have no real life friends and also suffering tremendously as my SAD is gradually getting worse and worse... I want to do something useful with it by letting other people who are afflicted with this hideous disorder know that they are NOT alone and I know exactly what they are going through.
I recently made a video which I am talking about my life with SAD and how it affects me. This video was VERY DIFFICULT for me to make! Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIQVHc7ylng
I am here to give support, understanding and compassion to those who need it. Please feel free to contact me.
Take care,
Terry
I am afflicted with social phobia/social anxiety disorder (SAD). I stay inside my small one-bedroom apartment 99% of the time because of the crippling effects of my SAD. I have to literally force myself to do simple things which involve social interaction that most people take for granted such as going to the grocery store, talking on the phone, etc... My home is both my refuge and my prison.
I want to be around people because I desperately need that support and human contact. Yet, at the same time, I shun people because of my SAD. It is a "catch 22" for me. I am damned if I do and damned if I don't! The thing I need the most (social contact) is also the thing that causes me the most anxiety! This is waaaaay beyond mere shyness for me. This is living hell that I would not wish upon my worst enemy! My SAD gets in my way and causes me to isolate myself. It has screwed up my life because it has negatively impacted every single part of it. I HATE IT!!!
I don't really have any friends in real life. The contact which I have with my boyfriend (who lives with me) is the main real life human contact that I have... besides going to the grocery store. Everyone else who I care about (family and friends) live in different states. I keep in touch with them through emails. Also, I make the effort to call my dad on the phone once per month. I have an active social life online, but not in real life. Communicating with people online is where I feel the most comfortable. It is where I can be myself because I am behind a computer screen and not in front of a person. My SAD kicks my butt when I am around people (I am fine as long as I am not dealing with people!). I have good days and bad days with my SAD. My apartment and my computer are both my safety zones.
As a result of my SAD, I am just merely existing... NOT living! Being afflicted with SAD is no way to live! It is sad to say, but I might as well be dead. The reason why I am still alive is because I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would not take my own life and that I would never give up. This is a glimpse into my life living with SAD.
Despite the fact that I am isolated, have no real life friends and also suffering tremendously as my SAD is gradually getting worse and worse... I want to do something useful with it by letting other people who are afflicted with this hideous disorder know that they are NOT alone and I know exactly what they are going through.
I recently made a video which I am talking about my life with SAD and how it affects me. This video was VERY DIFFICULT for me to make! Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIQVHc7ylng
I am here to give support, understanding and compassion to those who need it. Please feel free to contact me.
Take care,
Terry
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