Looking into the eyes

i ofter hear thigs about looking into someone eyes... i recall that when started to read about SA, i readed a article that said: "some people described that is very hard to look into someones eyes"...

from that day i'm realising several things that are very hard to do, going to strange places, buying clothes, talking to strange people, making exercices in public - things i easily avoid and should not i know.

I've ralised too that i never look people in the eyes, but what is worst: its very very very hard to me (one of the hardest things to me)...

these days my sister complained that i never look to her when we are talking, and i have a very nice relationship with my young sister...

I triyed to talk looking at her and she said: why are you looking to me this way?
I said: i don't know... it's too hard to me to look people in the eyes while.

i can't look to people naturally in the eyes... even someone dear to me, that i trust so much like my sister.

Generally, when people look to me, i feel unconfortable... but when people look direct to my eyes, i feel very strange and i have the urge to turn my face away.

someone here have the same problem, or had?

Exactly, me to. I hate it when people do that, all I can do is look away, hope there is somthing to look at, im talking about with my family. Its so annoying, makes it all so much harder.

Yeah, I have the same problem. Whenever someone looks me in they eyes, I get nervous and feel weird. So a few months ago I decided to fight my urge to look away and hold eye contact when people were talking to me. I'm a little better, but I still overthink eye contact too much. I'm always wondering how I look to them. I just want it to come naturally, but it seems so freaky to me. I hope I get used to it though, because I think alot of people think I'm ignoring them cause I'm not looking into their eyes.

It reallly bothers me because a lot of people try to look me in the eyes. I don't know why they want to but it's annoying. I do NOT like people just looking at me like that. I will always look in every which direction in order to avoid any eye contacts. I can't look in their eyes because I can't imagine someone looking into my eyes, as weird as it sounds.

I don't know why they would want to. Well it's not really a problem because people never talk to me anymore, but on one of those rare days I go outside people always seem to try to make eye contact with me.

It's weird, when I'm at a mall and walking down the store, people sitting on the benches will look at my eyes and I never know what to do. I usually look away, but maybe I should look at their eyes. It's sooooo confusing

froghat said:

It's weird, when I'm at a mall and walking down the store, people sitting on the benches will look at my eyes and I never know what to do. I usually look away, but maybe I should look at their eyes. It's sooooo confusing

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Im pretty sure random people that you are NOT talking to are suppose to look at your eyes. Isn't making eye contact only for when you in a conversation? They are probably just looking at you, like everybody does. Don't stare in a persons eye like that, just like a dog. =)

I dislike eye contact, too. But it is said eyes are the door to the soul. They are the only part of the body which never changes, just as the soul. People can tell you by your eyes decades of years later after they have seen you. Eyes can tell you about the person. We avoid eye contact due to our social anxiety, but people may interpret it as insincerity.

i used to have this problem, well i think i still but not that badly... because a few years ago i used to pretend i was busy reading or seeing something hahaha just to avoid eye contact, even once someone told me "you know i feel like im not getting your attention" and i was like "you know what i can still hear you" hahaha but anyway the people who were my friends at the time understand...

JonnyD said:

i ofter hear thigs about looking into someone eyes... i recall that when started to read about SA, i readed a article that said: "some people described that is very hard to look into someones eyes"...

from that day i'm realising several things that are very hard to do, going to strange places, buying clothes, talking to strange people, making exercices in public - things i easily avoid and should not i know.

I've ralised too that i never look people in the eyes, but what is worst: its very very very hard to me (one of the hardest things to me)...

these days my sister complained that i never look to her when we are talking, and i have a very nice relationship with my young sister...

I triyed to talk looking at her and she said: why are you looking to me this way?
I said: i don't know... it's too hard to me to look people in the eyes while.

i can't look to people naturally in the eyes... even someone dear to me, that i trust so much like my sister.

Generally, when people look to me, i feel unconfortable... but when people look direct to my eyes, i feel very strange and i have the urge to turn my face away.

someone here have the same problem, or had?

Click to expand...

I actually like looking at people's eyes.....as long as they arent looking at me.

The eyes are always the first thing I recognize when I see a person but its too uncomfortable for me to look at them if they are looking at me. I have to turn my head away or act like im doing something else. Often times, I feel quite rude for not making eye contact. I hate giving the impression that I dont care or im not listening.

I can't stand looking into people's eyes. I don't even like to look into my parents eye's. I never look at people directly in the face. I feel guilty for some reason; like I have no business looking into their eyes. I feel like they might get mad at me. It's something about their pupils that scare me. When I see their pupils and I know that they can see mine it makes me extremely uncomfortable.

I posted this monday, and i "experimented" with it this week: i posted something about here ...

Here is what i'm doing, I'm trying to look in peoples faces when i'm talking with them, it really helps because looks like it manage to got more attention... I still not standing someone looking direct to my face, but i'm trying. i also can't keep eye contact, but i tried a couple of times and it is get easier!

Someone asked me to talk to a client, normally i would refuse - i can do it because it's not my call - but i breath deeply and went to the meeting, it was at home and i was not alone so it helped a lot.
In this meeting i managed to make one thing i'm totally proud of my self: i told him no, these were my words: "Sorry , it can't be done, because...".
He accepted it , you know why? because i was just looking at him - in a funny way, because he was staring at me like someone wanting to bite me - i think it passed the message "i'm not telling that i don't want, i'm telling because i can't".

i didn't belived that, but people get more attractive if they look at you. I've noticed it myself.

You should at least try, in the begging it will be really hard , but at least give it a try.[/u]

I used to have a major problem with looking at people in the eyes especially since I used to be a little cross eyed as a kid and wore glasses.

Now that the problem is barely noticeable, I still think it makes me self conscious when looking at people in the eyes in addition to the sa. I try to look at people in the forehead instead or right between they eyes hoping they won't notice Anyway I think it's important to try to keep doing it even if it's difficult to keep staring at someone in the eyes while talking to them.

JonnyD said:

I posted this monday, and i "experimented" with it this week: i posted something about here ...

Here is what i'm doing, I'm trying to look in peoples faces when i'm talking with them, it really helps because looks like it manage to got more attention... I still not standing someone looking direct to my face, but i'm trying. i also can't keep eye contact, but i tried a couple of times and it is get easier!

Someone asked me to talk to a client, normally i would refuse - i can do it because it's not my call - but i breath deeply and went to the meeting, it was at home and i was not alone so it helped a lot.
In this meeting i managed to make one thing i'm totally proud of my self: i told him no, these were my words: "Sorry , it can't be done, because...".
He accepted it , you know why? because i was just looking at him - in a funny way, because he was staring at me like someone wanting to bite me - i think it passed the message "i'm not telling that i don't want, i'm telling because i can't".


You should at least try, in the begging it will be really hard , but at least give it a try.[/u]

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Yes it does get easier if you work on it.
I'm finding that out myself also. I had a good week with making contact.
It'd been tough for the past few months but now my facial muscles are starting to relax a lot more and I'm able to look less tense and less like a freak when I'm looking at someone lol. I can also hold actual eye contact for much longer then before and that's a nice thing to be able to do.