Life, soccer metaphors, deadend thinking, and one crazy vj.
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Pacific_Loner
Pirate from the North Pole
What I'm going to say probably won't be very helpful but I think you're bound for complications when you expect to find a meaning. If there is a meaning to life good luck finding it, though it's always interesting to wonder about it. The meaning could be different for each and everyone. But if you think "there's no meaning so what's the point?" you are going to stay stuck. Forget the meaning, forget the rules (but not the laws of course) and do what you want (while respecting other living beings).
Doesn't help you much heh?
Anyway I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone getting stuck in these kind of thoughts.
Doesn't help you much heh?
Anyway I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone getting stuck in these kind of thoughts.
SoScared
Well-known member
playing rugby whilst everybody else is playing soccer.
Something-Vague
Well-known member
Maybe it would help to see life not as a field, with everyone having specific, fixed positions, goals; nor you, merely an agent alone left to either be bound by fate and a lack of luck or the opposite, having all this power and ability for naught. What if life is an ocean? And you are a wave? Experiencing the ups and downs and in betweens. Sure, there are other waves making their own tides, ripples, and you are connected to them in some way no doubt. There is beauty in that. All one, and thus, all to be cared for and understanding of. The ocean needs no reason- it just is. Other variables are involved, boats, mother nature, sea creatures and so forth. But how beautiful to know that if there is no meaning there can be any meaning, even if it is just to sit and watch the ocean. Goals are admirable, intentions can be respectable. If we have choice, then great, we can make meaning and meaningful changes, progress. If we don't, well, what a journey to flow along the sea of life. And who is to say we can't do both? Hope this helps
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Something-Vague
Well-known member
I get you. Many people want something important to work towards, a passion, a cause. These can be good things. I guess what I was trying to get at is this: one can only plan and take action so much. The other part is just being patient and letting things run their course a bit. Are you struggling to find a goal or aspiration that you are passionate about? And/or is that you worry that there is such a short time here and you don't want to waste?
Part of living a meaningful life, I think, is just living in the moment and understanding the beauty and wisdom, even in the mundane things. One doesn't have to consciously set out to make every good decision. Sometimes, letting ourselves indulge or be a bit lazy, can actually be beneficial. Also, sometimes negative instances happen because good things are about to happen. A process of learning. No one has it all figured out. Not one person.
I do apologize if I sound like a broken record or preaching to the choir as I assure you that is not my intent. I have been where you are and it's terrifying. Have you done meditation at all? One of my favorite sites as an adjunct is calm.com I feel that helps me clear myself a bit and put things in more perspective.
Also, what is your stance on activism? Would that potentially be something you are interested in?
Something to think about: people want freedom to choose and make important decisions; but trying to enact too much control or power things is the opposite - a trap.
Part of living a meaningful life, I think, is just living in the moment and understanding the beauty and wisdom, even in the mundane things. One doesn't have to consciously set out to make every good decision. Sometimes, letting ourselves indulge or be a bit lazy, can actually be beneficial. Also, sometimes negative instances happen because good things are about to happen. A process of learning. No one has it all figured out. Not one person.
I do apologize if I sound like a broken record or preaching to the choir as I assure you that is not my intent. I have been where you are and it's terrifying. Have you done meditation at all? One of my favorite sites as an adjunct is calm.com I feel that helps me clear myself a bit and put things in more perspective.
Also, what is your stance on activism? Would that potentially be something you are interested in?
Something to think about: people want freedom to choose and make important decisions; but trying to enact too much control or power things is the opposite - a trap.
The meaning of life is to enjoy it. For me, I know which things bring me joy, and I try to fashion my life in such a way that I get to do those things. It's easy to over-complicate things by mentally focusing on what's imperfect in your life. turning it over and over in your mind, until all the happiness is crowded out. It's easy because life does have a lot of shitty things to throw at you, and sometimes several shitty things will hit at the same time. That is inevitable and it needs to be accepted.
My life certainly isn't perfect. In fact there is a case to be made that I'm at my lowest point ever in certain respects, particularly material things. Rather than thinking about that, I try to focus on what I need to do today, or even in the next hour. Am I doing what I need to do to make tomorrow better than today, even just by 1%? If I am, then by the end of the year I'll be 360% better, and that's all I can ask for. I've had to adjust my expectations in life, because I used to have unreasonably high expectations. When I was a kid I had a list of things that I was going to do or be or have accomplished by the time I was 20. Now I'm 26 and I have none of them. I actually have less than I did back then. Some of the things I lost can never come back, no matter what I do. I have to let those go.
I'll start comparing what I have to what other people have. It's easy to forget that their lives are not mine. People like to cherry-pick which parts of their lives they display. Comparing yourself to that is comparing yourself to a false image. The expectations you'll get from that are wrong.
Coming back to the meaning of life - it's to enjoy it. To read and observe things that fascinate me, to play video games, play music, smoke weed, go to furry conventions, eat nice food, come home to sleep in a bed instead of in the dirt. And go to work every day so that I can put more of those things in my life. That's what it is to me. There is no deeper meaning to life that I can find. Trying to conjure up something more complex than that is just going to get me frustrated. It's going to make me lose focus on what I actually like doing.
You might think of life as one singular thing, like you only have one life and it's going to be a dead end. But... a dead end to what? Where did you think you were going, and would it really have made you happy? Life is really just a sequence of days, one after another, thousands of them. Days and hours and minutes for you to fill with very small things. If you don't know how to enjoy the small things moment to moment, you're not going to enjoy anything else... because no matter what you do in life, it's all going to be made up of small moments. Obviously you can't be happy 100% of the time, but you can persevere in the knowledge that you will have something to look forward later to in the day, or later in the week. Even something as simple as arriving back home or going for a walk in the park.
Last but not least. sitting around for an extended period has never helped me. If I'm sitting around bored and my thoughts start going negative, I'll MAKE something for myself to do. It doesn't even have to be anything fun, just something to occupy my brain so I don't go into the spiral of thinking about stuff I don't need to think about.
all the
small theeengs!
My life certainly isn't perfect. In fact there is a case to be made that I'm at my lowest point ever in certain respects, particularly material things. Rather than thinking about that, I try to focus on what I need to do today, or even in the next hour. Am I doing what I need to do to make tomorrow better than today, even just by 1%? If I am, then by the end of the year I'll be 360% better, and that's all I can ask for. I've had to adjust my expectations in life, because I used to have unreasonably high expectations. When I was a kid I had a list of things that I was going to do or be or have accomplished by the time I was 20. Now I'm 26 and I have none of them. I actually have less than I did back then. Some of the things I lost can never come back, no matter what I do. I have to let those go.
I'll start comparing what I have to what other people have. It's easy to forget that their lives are not mine. People like to cherry-pick which parts of their lives they display. Comparing yourself to that is comparing yourself to a false image. The expectations you'll get from that are wrong.
Coming back to the meaning of life - it's to enjoy it. To read and observe things that fascinate me, to play video games, play music, smoke weed, go to furry conventions, eat nice food, come home to sleep in a bed instead of in the dirt. And go to work every day so that I can put more of those things in my life. That's what it is to me. There is no deeper meaning to life that I can find. Trying to conjure up something more complex than that is just going to get me frustrated. It's going to make me lose focus on what I actually like doing.
You might think of life as one singular thing, like you only have one life and it's going to be a dead end. But... a dead end to what? Where did you think you were going, and would it really have made you happy? Life is really just a sequence of days, one after another, thousands of them. Days and hours and minutes for you to fill with very small things. If you don't know how to enjoy the small things moment to moment, you're not going to enjoy anything else... because no matter what you do in life, it's all going to be made up of small moments. Obviously you can't be happy 100% of the time, but you can persevere in the knowledge that you will have something to look forward later to in the day, or later in the week. Even something as simple as arriving back home or going for a walk in the park.
Last but not least. sitting around for an extended period has never helped me. If I'm sitting around bored and my thoughts start going negative, I'll MAKE something for myself to do. It doesn't even have to be anything fun, just something to occupy my brain so I don't go into the spiral of thinking about stuff I don't need to think about.
all the
small theeengs!
Opaline
1
I think this is an excellent way to look at things - it's a lot like mindfulness, being present in the moment here and now and being grateful for it and enjoying it as much as possible for what it is.
I think it's a good way to live and to avoid obsessing over what you don't have. However, I don't think it would work with someone who is moderately to severely depressed (not sure if you are vj, but the point stands anyway) because depression by its very nature causes you to ruminate involuntarily and to fret over the past/future, in addition to other complicating factors.
I also think that if you are very lonely this mindset can only help so much, because after a while your own companionship will no longer be enough no matter how hard you try to occupy yourself. Apart from a small percentage of people, humans need other humans to share life with in order for it to feel meaningful. Prolonged loneliness inevitably saps your joy.
Always having something to look forward to is spot on otherwise, though - it's what I try to live by as well