Knowing when to flirt

NightTimeForever

NightTimeForever

Well-known member
Maybe I am reading too much into this, but at work tonight I was paged up to the registers,a girl handed me a phone, I thought she wanted me to turn it into the "lost and found" bin or whatever, I took it, and she asked if it was mine. I said it wasn't, but she insisted it was (even after saying again it wasn't), then asked me my last name. I told her, she replied "whatever" and shook her head as if I was lying. It didn't occur to me until afterwards that she may have been trying to flirt with me (wishful thinking?). Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, how do you know when it is appropriate to flirt? As in, how do you know when they are flirting? Is it when they tease you?
 
stardog

stardog

Well-known member
That doesn't sound like flirting tbh...normally it'd be a certain look, or a comment, like a compliment something like that

I always read too much into things too though, depending on my mood...if I'm walking in a supermarket, feeling confident then I'm pretty much superman to any girls walking by. But if I'm depressed then I'm a hideous mess...
 
NightTimeForever

NightTimeForever

Well-known member
well, she would initiate and say hi to me sometimes. but you're right it probably wasn't flirting. what was weird was that she kept denying what I was saying, like I was a liar or something. So, anyway how do you KNOW when a girl is flirting with you?
 
Walk

Walk

Well-known member
NightTimeForever said:
well, she would initiate and say hi to me sometimes. but you're right it probably wasn't flirting. what was weird was that she kept denying what I was saying, like I was a liar or something. So, anyway how do you KNOW when a girl is flirting with you?
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If she's licking her lips or touching her hair a lot. That's almost a sure one. It's alright though, even if you're not sure, just ask her her name, introduce yourself, give her your number and wait till she calls.

I've done that once, but the girl ended up talking to me at like 100am all drunk saying some crazy ass shit about her friend's boyfriend and other crazy random shit. She never responded after that...

haha Just try it out. If it doesn't work, you should be ok, depending on your level of SA. It's hard for me, but I need to do it again.
 
Weirdo

Weirdo

Well-known member
A few years back, I was walking down the street and suddenly a girl(she had mby 1 or 2 friends-girls by herself) asked me with a smile on her face "Hi, don't you know where can I find XY shop?" I didn't know where it is(the next day i found out it was just across the road) so I just said, also with a smile "Hmm...I don't know, sorry." Afterwards, I continued to walk and immediately realized that she probably made the first move and wanted me to hit on her, but I didn't want to turn around and say something, that would've been terribly awkward :oops: Anyway, even if we somehow, miraculously, fell in love back then, I'm sure it would've been over by now. Oh well..
 
Psychedelicious

Psychedelicious

1
That doesn't sound like flirting to me... That sounds kind of weird. I don't know iflicking your lips or touching your hair is a sure sign either, because I touch my hair about every other second. It's more a sign of being anxious probably.

A few years back, I was walking down the street and suddenly a girl(she had mby 1 or 2 friends-girls by herself) asked me with a smile on her face "Hi, don't you know where can I find XY shop?" I didn't know where it is(the next day i found out it was just across the road) so I just said, also with a smile "Hmm...I don't know, sorry." Afterwards, I continued to walk and immediately realized that she probably made the first move and wanted me to hit on her, but I didn't want to turn around and say something, that would've been terribly awkward Anyway, even if we somehow, miraculously, fell in love back then, I'm sure it would've been over by now. Oh well..
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I seriously think that you are thinking about that too much. Just because someone asks you where something is, or passes you on the street doesn't mean that they are hitting on you. You seem like you're making a lot of that up in your head, and it's too much of a big deal. Not making up the story, but thinking that it was so important. People tend to think too much that it is about themselves, like maybe the person just wanted to know where the store was. A lot of people ask for directions. I mean I don't know, because I suck at this, but that's just what I think.
 
Weirdo

Weirdo

Well-known member
I just thought that it would be weird of her to ask where's the shop, when it was just across the street. In any case, we'll never know whether or not it was all in my head. Also I'd like to add, that this wasn't the first time a strange girl spoke to me. Once as I was walking to my class, there were 2 girls on the sides of the corridor and they said hi, I was just like "huh? why would they say that" and went on.
 
NightTimeForever

NightTimeForever

Well-known member
Psychedelicious said:
That doesn't sound like flirting to me... That sounds kind of weird. I don't know iflicking your lips or touching your hair is a sure sign either, because I touch my hair about every other second. It's more a sign of being anxious probably.
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If yer talking about my thing (the cellphone), yeah that is just weird, I mean why would someone think I would lie about something like that. And why would they ask my last name?

Anyway, to go into generalities, how do you KNOW if a girl is flirting with you. Are there any surefire signs that she is? Is excessive touching a sign?
 
Walk

Walk

Well-known member
NightTimeForever said:
Psychedelicious said:
That doesn't sound like flirting to me... That sounds kind of weird. I don't know iflicking your lips or touching your hair is a sure sign either, because I touch my hair about every other second. It's more a sign of being anxious probably.
Click to expand...

If yer talking about my thing (the cellphone), yeah that is just weird, I mean why would someone think I would lie about something like that. And why would they ask my last name?

Anyway, to go into generalities, how do you KNOW if a girl is flirting with you. Are there any surefire signs that she is? Is excessive touching a sign?
Click to expand...

In my experience, and it includes my co workers' experience, if a girl wants to talk to you a lot and be around you, and she's looking at you in your eyes and yes, licking her lips, etc it's very likely because she likes you.

When girls don't like a guy, they will act very bored and not really talkative with them.

Sure, these are generalizations, but they are pretty accurate.

Girls don't usually make the move, and they give you signs for you to make the move. It also depends on how much you talk to them. Try to talk to them about anything that goes on in your day. Even my quiet ass has been able to maintain some level of conversation with girls, so just keep practicing at it. You don't necessarily have to talking about anything too adventurous either.

Ask them what movie they've watched that you like, for example. Simple stuff. I'm not that worried about the talking part, it's when I'm on an actual date that I don't know what to do because I'm so concenred if she's having a good time, although I've only been on like three dates, so it's likely due to inexperience (and probably the wrong type of girl too).
 
NightTimeForever

NightTimeForever

Well-known member
Walk said:
NightTimeForever said:
Psychedelicious said:
That doesn't sound like flirting to me... That sounds kind of weird. I don't know iflicking your lips or touching your hair is a sure sign either, because I touch my hair about every other second. It's more a sign of being anxious probably.
Click to expand...

If yer talking about my thing (the cellphone), yeah that is just weird, I mean why would someone think I would lie about something like that. And why would they ask my last name?

Anyway, to go into generalities, how do you KNOW if a girl is flirting with you. Are there any surefire signs that she is? Is excessive touching a sign?
Click to expand...

In my experience, and it includes my co workers' experience, if a girl wants to talk to you a lot and be around you, and she's looking at you in your eyes and yes, licking her lips, etc it's very likely because she likes you.

When girls don't like a guy, they will act very bored and not really talkative with them.

Sure, these are generalizations, but they are pretty accurate.

Girls don't usually make the move, and they give you signs for you to make the move. It also depends on how much you talk to them. Try to talk to them about anything that goes on in your day. Even my quiet ass has been able to maintain some level of conversation with girls, so just keep practicing at it. You don't necessarily have to talking about anything too adventurous either.

Ask them what movie they've watched that you like, for example. Simple stuff. I'm not that worried about the talking part, it's when I'm on an actual date that I don't know what to do because I'm so concenred if she's having a good time, although I've only been on like three dates, so it's likely due to inexperience (and probably the wrong type of girl too).
Click to expand...

Well, its the anxiety and stuff that stops me from making a move. I remember this one time at work I was just chatting with a female co-worker, and I smiled at her, then some other chick walked by and I looked at her (with the smile still on my face), she looked at me and later when I walked past her, she leaned almost into me and smiled, obviously trying to get my attention. I was so paralyzed with anxiety I couldn't do anything.

I made another post about a girl that in the past actually expressed liking me (a hottie), and would initiate conversations all the time, trying to get info out of me, and this is my current dilemma. That might be too late to do anything about, but I know girls express interest through nonverbal signals and I'm trying to peace that all together.

Obviously I know you have to talk to them, but its so hard for me. I've been getting somewhat better. My naggin inexperience is my biggest enemy though.
 
ripewithdecay

ripewithdecay

Well-known member
A sure sign of flirting is when a girl starts touching you.
Not like grab your ass or anything, but for example.... she might slightly lean against you while standing next to you (ive had this mostly)... caress your arm for a brief second...take your hand and place it on her ass (ive had this one too, pretty good chance of flirting)
Verbally she might laugh a lot, at everything you say, in a bubbly manner.. it might seems awkward to you after a while like 'why is she giggling everytime a word leaves my mouth?'... if she stares at your eyes and smiles while you talk to her and sort of continues to stare and smile for longer than normal periods of time... she's probably in a flirtatious mood.

I dunno, in my experience it's been purely instinct, but 90% of the time im too lame to jump on the opportunity and respond with anything. So knowing what signs to look for is a good thing.
 
Walk

Walk

Well-known member
ripewithdecay said:
I dunno, in my experience it's been purely instinct, but 90% of the time im too lame to jump on the opportunity and respond with anything. So knowing what signs to look for is a good thing.
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Fo sho! I think this is very common with lots of people though.

You know it, I know it, MOST people on earth know it; that "life is too short, so take risks". It's just so damn hard once you're put in the spot.

It's cool though, despite all the confusion, I love women.
 
stardog

stardog

Well-known member
I think sometimes you just know, one time I was standing by my motorbike at the shop, I was standing next to my bike eatin a banana lol, thinking 'hope no-one sees me eating this banana I must look weird...'

out of the blue this girl walked by, quite far away, looked straight at me, smiled, flicked her hair, stood there for a while making eye contact then walked away smiling. She was gorgeous...I figured she probably was just attracted to the look though- the bike, leathers etc. But my banana fears were unfounded, I guess I managed to look cool whilst eating a banana! :p

It's a little ego boost, but you need to ACT on it, I fear rejection too much.
 
stardog

stardog

Well-known member
ripewithdecay said:
take your hand and place it on her ass
Click to expand...

hehe, yea it's hard to misread that one...

did you get with that girl? and where did this happen?? jus out of interest :D
 
K

Krista

Well-known member
NightTimeForever said:
Maybe I am reading too much into this, but at work tonight I was paged up to the registers,a girl handed me a phone, I thought she wanted me to turn it into the "lost and found" bin or whatever, I took it, and she asked if it was mine. I said it wasn't, but she insisted it was (even after saying again it wasn't), then asked me my last name. I told her, she replied "whatever" and shook her head as if I was lying. It didn't occur to me until afterwards that she may have been trying to flirt with me (wishful thinking?). Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, how do you know when it is appropriate to flirt? As in, how do you know when they are flirting? Is it when they tease you?
Click to expand...

Lol, was she doing it in a teasing tone? Sounds kinda rude to me but I wasn't there.
 
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